MODERN LOVE

“No mom, I don’t have the boy, I would like to have it but I don’t. And do you know why? Because today mom different things are in fashion, long hair and short skirts, light tips and red mouth, flat stomach and protruding breasts, small physique and full lips are in fashion. Today mom uses different things, you no longer buy espadrilles for 5 euros, today you wear Dr Martens and Napapijri, which you have to lease to compare them. Today bars and milkshakes are no longer taken in bars, today they drink beer and vodka, just to help balance on vertiginous heels, the new Jeffrey Campbells. And today there is no longer even a curfew, you stay outside directly until the next morning and pretend to stop and watch the sunrise, which in reality nobody cares. So no mom, I don’t have a boyfriend, simply because I’m not all this, I’m not thin enough, and I can’t afford the miniskirts, the Dr Martens are uncomfortable for me and the sunrise I would start photographing her every day, especially at the sea. I am for the loves of the past, the guys who court you and even open the door for you, I am for the kisses given spontaneously in a place that is only ours, and not for a drunk boy, whom I will never see again, in the midst of a dance floor, just for the sake of being able to brag about it the next morning, I keep my story to myself. I don’t want a relationship today, where to know if you are together or not, just look at the status of a social network, because kisses don’t count for anything anymore. I want a relationship from yesterday, made up of letters and I love you whispered, made up of moments that remain. I don’t have a boyfriend, mom, because I haven’t found someone who wants what I want yet.

I admire boyfriends who, despite being such, do not give up on anything. Who said that two boyfriends have to give up a night at the disco? Who said they can’t go out without each other? Who said they can’t get drunk together or spend long nights with friends? Love is not rejection, it is not prison or feeling suffocated. Those kinds of love get tired and eventually come to an end. If I ever find the love of my life one day, I want it to be exactly like that. Love without laws and without fear of not being able to be together with someone you love to live as I love. If I don’t find such a love, I’m ready to be alone all my life.

“I know, I know that sometimes you still think of me. That obsessions never completely go away, and that we were a full-blown obsession. I know that every now and then, while you look at it, I come back to you. every now and then, while you sleep in it embraced, you still dream of me. Sometimes she will have asked you about us: ‘why?’ ‘didn’t you love her?’ and you will have answered her with the air of someone who gives a shit ‘no, I didn’t love her, for me you are love.’ And she will have believed it, because she doesn’t know, she can’t even imagine. that we were so much, but so much, that together we hurt each other. That’s why you are now with her and not with me. Don’t worry, anyway. It will never go away. It is the condemnation of those who find love and let it escape. “