WHEN I WAS ALIVE

As a young girl I imagined a different future and being an artist (I don’t get high nor smoke or drink, I’m an atypical artist I know) I thought that my skills, both artistic and intellectual (I always had excellent grades in school) would have me taken far, in every sense. I have always dreamed of a life off the cursed island, Sicily, because as soon as I grew up a little and became old enough to understand certain social dynamics, I felt suffocated in my aspirations. My parents wanted me to finish my studies, find a rich husband and get married and bake some grandchildren for them. Instead I didn’t do any of this. I have not followed any rules of social life that tradition imposed. Immediately after high school I went abroad to pursue my artistic dream but I was forced to return because my mother was sick and I took on my responsibilities as a daughter and still do it today and in return I do not receive than criticisms and always negative judgments. In part you are right, I have not been able to get even the minimum of what I aspired to in my artistic life but on the other hand I have a situation that everyone envies me.
Of course, after having understood how things are going, after having discovered that “either you follow the rules of the market or you stay out of every field”, the choice to continue on the difficult and fruitless path of art is truly crazy. But I can’t turn my back on myself and my fantasy, and especially in recent times if I hadn’t had all these dreams with me yet, I think I wouldn’t have been able to go on. Sometimes instead I say to myself, trying to convince myself, that it would have been better not to have these dreams at all and not to have all these creative abilities, since up to now they have not brought me anything concrete because I do not compromise for any reason and I do not I want to sleep with anyone to get credit. This crisis due to covid pays for itself first of all precisely those sectors of genres that are considered unnecessary, and art is one of them. Certainly having a nice painting hanging on the wall does not fill people’s stomachs so even I wouldn’t feel like persuading someone to buy a painting rather than buying groceries. First of all, I myself have had to give up those beautiful things that make life more pleasant (dinners out, accessories, hairdressers, cinema, theater, concerts, cosplay fairs, …) and so why shouldn’t others give it up too ?! The covid spared no one. So what’s the point of creating so many beautiful things if they have to remain closed in a box or drawer? Being an art therapist seems nonsense. Working with autistic children seems inconsistent. Yet it requires a lot of patience and a lot of control. But I never talk about my passion for saving children.

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jean-Jacques @ Gypsy Café
    Jun 26, 2021 @ 16:14:33

    Art will always be important and during the darkest of times some of the very best art was created, but as for the monetary aspects of art, that’s very unpredictable and inconsistent and good artists have notoriously been poor … I do not have advice on this subject, I’m only reflecting on the timeless higher value of art, and of those creating it. Nothing is ever permanent and neither is the time period that we are going through right now.

    Reply

    • Fairy Queen
      Jun 26, 2021 @ 16:32:50

      I was born and raised in Italy, the cradle of art since ancient times, but here an artist is not valued at all. Indeed, if a person says he is an artist, everyone thinks he is just unemployed. This is really absurd, I don’t understand it. I also had two parents who were completely opposite: my father a chemist and my mother a stylist. My father didn’t believe in art and my mother still lives on it. But no one has ever encouraged me, I had to go abroad and build my life all by myself.

      Reply

      • Jean-Jacques @ Gypsy Café
        Jun 27, 2021 @ 08:39:56

        Thanks for this background. I’ve never visited Italy, but I have met and spoken to many Italians. I have also lived in Argentina where there is a strong Italian influence and they love art and respect artists. So, I agree that it’s strange that people in Italy would have such a low regard for artists considering it’s major historical art contribution to the world.
        Times change though and we are in a time of extreme materialism, so everything is viewed through a materialistic lens or in terms of whether something has utility – it’s diminished higher senses that causes that (due to materialism). I have learned though (and this is what I’m currently writing about in an article I’m preparing to publish end of July) that everything is a cycle and we will return to a time when art and artists would be highly valued again, venerated even, but that will take a while.
        The current situation with all the restrictions in the world has put a further damper on art activities (courses, visiting galleries, exhibitions, etc) and online art is not really a substitute, in my view, for experiencing art directly, with digital art being the exception. You seem to know what is important for you is strong within yourself and therefore in your convictions, so you have followed the path of courage, the path closest to your true destiny – you have insisted on doing what you know is right for you. This is never an easy path, but it’s the higher one, and such a path in spite of its challenges usually provides for deep inner satisfaction and meaning.

  2. Jean-Jacques @ Gypsy Café
    Jun 27, 2021 @ 08:50:56

    In some online sectors there has actually been growth due to the crisis – demand increased because people were online more than before. I was wondering if this is also the case for digital art and digital publishing in various formats.

    Reply

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