CRYSTALLIZED LIPS

Often it is precisely in the souls that seem purer and more innocent that a superb height, an instinctive touchiness, a ruthless rivalry that leads to rotting everything from the inside branches out. Sometimes I find much clearer souls that burn, that lower their gaze struck by pain, than the light of not being destined for another, it is from their profound decadence that the most revolution is born.

Today I have become the sea. We settled on the rocks, very close to the power of the water. Me, Giusy and Thomas. Looking at the great impetuosity, Giusy took refuge on the rocks further back. Thomas and I were left to hear him scream and play, the sea. I sang the Maha-Mantra for him and the Sea approached us, we were admired and we stood watching the seagulls dancing in the wind. The Sea greatly appreciated the Mantra. When Thomas returned to the rocks further back, where Giusy was, I asked the Sea to be granted the honor of being him. At first I struggled a bit: the impetuosity made me fearful. Then, in front of me, I saw something that opened my eyes: the foam of the Sea was intertwined, like two hands looking for and finding each other. Then the Light of the Energy opened in me and I was suddenly the waves and every part of the drops breaking on the rocks. I was the uninterrupted swaying of the distant ocean, I was the water behind the invisible horizon, I was the air I breathed, the land beneath the sea and even further down the center of the Earth itself. Then I went up from the depths of the world and I was the sky and I saw the whole world from above. Everything Existing was in me and I felt I was Everything. In that moment I felt the Sea fall in love with me, everything fall in love with me. And I fell in love, in turn, with everything on Earth. I was, in a single instant, loved, lover and in love. The sea courted me and I let myself be spoiled. I felt I was the Bride of the Universe, in a continuus of Servant and Mistress of Love. I tried an ancestral Desiderio and I felt Desiderata: we played Lovers, me and the Sea. Giusy and Thomas called me back to the Present. When I got up from the rocks, the Sea impetuously begged me to stay. But it would be useless: now he is in me and I in him, forever.

The roar of the water thunders the time. An impetuous and straining wind drags along these other rocks that bring us less closer to the sea. On the other hand, it is he who approaches us. He shakes and swells like a lover filling his chest. He immediately tried to grab me as soon as we got here. He is a very impetuous and jealous lover, the Sea. Wind and Sun play the winnings on my skin, between cold and heat. For now, the feeling is still one of disarming freedom and freshness. I left my hair down, dancing with the Wind. The Sea does not let me write: it requires attention, as my partner usually does when I do something else. Before, I witnessed the group flight of the seagulls and they seemed to me so many precious Gods in the sky. The salty smell pervades my nostrils and kisses my skin. The tumultuous Spouse attempts proximity with ever higher waves. In me, it fights the desire to escape and stay. Who knows why, the sea has always sent me melancholy. And here, as I think these words, light drops rest on my face, like a caress. The sea pampers me. And I vow to the Whole for every day of my Existence.

You are a Swami (mistress-mastery in Hindi) ”, Giusy told me yesterday, returning home. It didn’t affect me. Neither pride nor shyness ran into my veins. Neither the arrogance of when I felt above the world, nor the smallness of when good people asked me to teach them. I refused for inadequacy. Today I reject that term out of respect for the Swami we heard yesterday. Nothing I have said up to now, in recent years, is mine: everything comes from the wonder of the purest listening to the Energy. The Energy speaks through the silence of my mind is the opening of the Heart. I know my potential and I don’t take pride in it. I also know my current limitations and I don’t blame myself. The rigidity of self-criticism pushed to the extreme of itself is of no use to anyone. It doesn’t help people find each other, if anything it leads them to despise them even more. Just as the irregularities of the rocks of a stream make it unique in the world for its shape, path and water sound, so our strengths and defects make us irreplaceable streams.

What we all care about is not listening: of oneself, of others, of the world, of the different intonation of all the animals on earth, of a leaf that lands on the water, of a feather that rolls in the meadow. Everything has a sound and a value, but we take it for granted. “Since I know what noise it makes, I don’t deserve to listen to it a second time”, we tell ourselves. Our most used word is: “I know”. But we don’t really know anything. We are like babies in the Universe and we already think we are big. We will be great only when every noise is worth it, when every “I know” disappears from this earth and we will listen to the voices of people wiser than us repeat things we already think we know a hundred times. Often we hear a word a hundred times and only once it enters our heart. We are hard on the uptake. We do not know how to be silent: the non-noise scares us. Yet there the voice of the Energy hides and whispers. Do we come into the world in Love and would we like to die in Fear? In the fear of energy, then? Whoever does not reveal the Heart to the Energy of things, in truth, is never born. We are butterflies in the cocoon, until the day we hear the voice of What He has created and what He has created. Then we will say: “Behold, this is the Voice of the Energy that has no name and has a thousand; that induces, that prays, that vice, that chooses, that loves, that explains. This is the Voice of Energy and now I recognize it. I recognize his Love, his thousand ways, his thousand choices, his sweet prayers, his infinite lives, his simple explanations. Now I recognize it and feel (I don’t know!) That it’s all true ”. Then yes, then we will be free. We will be born.