LIFE IS A MOVIE?

But why doesn’t everything work like in the movies? Why don’t strangers on the subway, instead of just looking at you, strike up a conversation and tell you that you have a beautiful smile? Why after thirty years, in a downtown café, do you never meet the person you fought for? Why do mothers struggle to understand their children and fathers to accept them? Why does the right sentence always come at the wrong time? Because it never happens to run in the rain, to get in front of someone’s front door, make him get out, apologize and start talking nonsense and then find yourself lips to lips and hear you say: ‘it doesn’t matter, the important thing is that you are here ‘? Why are you never woken up during the night by a voice on the phone that tells you: ‘I’ve never forgotten you’? If we were braver, more irrational, more combative, more whimsical, more confident and if we were less proud, less shameful, less fragile, I’m sure we shouldn’t have to pay any movie tickets to see people doing and saying what we don’t have the courage to externalize, to see people who love as we cannot, to see people who represent us, to see people who, by pretending, are able to be more sincere than us.
But you two will never be friends. Two can not be friends who look at each other like that, who get lost all the time and then find each other again. Two can not be friends who must always beware of missteps, that one word too many is enough to fall in love. Two like you cannot be friends, who look for each other with your eyes, and with your hands, who want to make love every time you are together and if you are not together, you dream of being one. You are not friends, however much you want to believe this lie so as not to hurt yourself. Because I get it, you are not friends but you are not in love either, and you don’t want to fall in love even though it could be that simple. You are everything but you are nothing. But my dear, I see you and understand it. You want yourself, somehow absurd and strange, against all logic. Because you are and always will be an unsolved question
This is me … a simple girl but who is now alone, or perhaps it is better to say she has remained in her world where everything does not go as she wants … well my biggest advice to give to all of you who follow me is to always go on and never give up because if in life you fight for what you want you will see the results … sometimes they can be negative but other times, someone who has been through a lot tells you, they can be really positive. So come on, have courage and live life with joy and hope within your heart.
Sometimes it comes back to me. When maybe I hear our song on the radio, when they play our film on television, when I see a girl who writes on her cell phone and I think about the words you wrote to me. It hurts a little in those moments, not so much, but just enough to realize that you are that parenthesis of my life that, going back, I would not open. Not out of nastiness, not because he didn’t feel something for you. But because on the contrary I have loved you too much and now that you are not there, I have realized that all that love has been wasted, thrown away, ignored, despite the beautiful promises and the beautiful words. You played, and I loved. No, I’m sorry, if I went back I wouldn’t let you into my life, because you didn’t leave me anything, because I don’t have good memories since they are so over. Because the only thing you have left me is just the umpteenth confirmation that I must not allow anyone to have a space, even a small one, in my heart. You are just my umpteenth confirmation that I am wrong to love, always, and that when I love I am only capable of hurting myself, because while you said you did not want to lose me, you sent me away.
He had that desire to let it all go, the desire not to go on, the desire to cry. The feeling of worthless tormented her, made her feel useless, unable to do anything. He felt low every day but kept smiling, even when he wanted to cry. She was crying even though nothing really happened, and when something happened, she felt like the end had come. She felt like she was dying, but no one understood her.
She: “Listen, die”
Him: “You are beautiful when you get angry. And then he gives you my shirt, you know? ”
Her: “How do you know I’m wearing your shirt?”
Him: “If you look out the window of your room maybe you see a jerk.”
Her: “Yes, apparently I see it.”
Him: “And you always remain beautiful.”
Her: “You could also leave, the only thing I would do now if I got off would be to slap you.”
Him: “I, on the other hand, the only thing I would do would be to kiss you.”
Her: “You’re crazy.”
Him: “About you.”
Her: “Let’s talk about something else. What did you bring me? ” Him: “So: lots of cuddles, two games for the play, bonuses and my apologies.”
Her: “What would the bonuses be?”
Him: “Cuddles, hugs and kisses. You know, you never know. ” Her: “Stop playing.”
Him: “I see you that you are agitated and you go back and forth around the room. You are beautiful, I will never stop saying it. ” Her: “Stop yelling too.”
Him: “Only if you let me in.” She: “On one condition.” Him: “Which one?”
Her: “We will use the bonuses.”
Him: “I love you”
Her: “Me too”

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