IN THE EYES

I feel like I’m in a whirlwind of too sharp words, Words thrown like boulders, You smoke this hoping that the pain in the chest that doesn’t make you sleep will pass, That hatred towards you that you cannot repress. Mom shakes my hands and tells me that she doesn’t want to pretend anymore, that fighting for her is becoming more than difficult, to smile among the people and say to be fine, each time more pain, In the eyes more and more terror, The sleepless nights in prison, That anxiety that stays with you every moment, You can’t leave shit aside, You cannot escape if you run away from yourself. You can’t escape when the demon is inside you.
I am firmly convinced of the existence of angels. And I believe that angels are all those who suffer, all those who carry their demons in or on their arms, all those who struggle to survive, all those who see death as the only way out. And so maybe, I’m an angel too. I am a warrior angel. Only children can be angels when they grow up most of them become black souls because of the other humans who do not have to keep the good by closing themselves in their vices but if you do not transform like them you will be crushed is this reality: the best pieces are the first to leave this world, have you noticed?
we placed one in front of the other, our legs were crossed over each other, our eyes pawed with emotions and words that we could not verbally say. It was dark, the street lamps in the distance created a soft light. We held on tight as if someone could suddenly divide us. Our lips came closer, suddenly she looked me straight in the eye and said: << If you keep telling me to go away, I’ll end up really going! >>. I walked away and shot, I immediately understood that she too, in the end, could not stay with me. I moved closer and kissed them, it wasn’t one of those tender kisses, it was a quick kiss, almost fugitive, but inside me it made a terrible mess. At that moment I just wanted to get away slowly in my thoughts, but I tried in every way to stay with her, without dragging her into what is my world of fears; I have always tried to protect people from that world, to keep them away from my suffering that no one could ever fully understand, no one could ever take that world and make a security shield. Do not . I’ve never let anyone in there because I know perfectly well that anyone who approaches that hell would leave immediately, only I can manage it, only I can manage that world full of demons.

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