The problem is the night, when you are alone, immersed in silence and your demons come out. That inject memories, cultivate paranoia, and tease your subconscious. Then your heartbeats increase, your breathing heats up and your eyes fill with tears. But close your eyes and try to sleep, the next morning they won’t have any power. I slept great tonight, zero nightmares. I woke up with Lola on my legs, everything is fine. In the morning I cleaned up the house taking very little time since there was not much to do. I washed my hair and made a coconut wrap, they smell like saaaacco. After I started drawing and in the meantime I listened to the new Maneskin album for the third time, the song I like best is I wanna be your slave “I love drums. I ate very little at lunch, I can’t eat a whole meal. I made the dough for tonight’s pizza. I put it in the oven and then the others eat it, I eat fruit, I feel too hot. After I rested waiting for the time to go down.
I spent a while on the couch with Thomas, he said that yesterday he woke up with a bad moon and he was a bit down in the dumps … this explains his behavior yesterday. I don’t know why but I didn’t believe him much. For dinner I ate a tiny slice of pizza with vegetables …. Plus when I got home I had a stomach ache.
Evening poem moment with Madness Poems by Jake Matthews, page 88 The man who kidnapped hurricanes. The story of a hurricane-kidnapper to bring them back home after their escape and turmoil. Thomas and I questioned the true identity of hurricanes. I thought it could be people’s broken dreams, broken hearts, hard fears to tame, demons that each of us carries within. I always go further when I read a poem. Robb says that making it his own that hurricane that sweeps everything away, but that can make you feel good if treated with care, can be the music and its role in his life.
Tonight the wardrobe opened for me, the demons I had trapped in it years ago came to me. We had a long chat, they wanted to sneak under the covers with me and then put on my own clothes and finally, get under my skin and never leave me again. But I set it on fire. Yeah, I set it on fire. I set them on fire because I realized that it is not enough to trap them in the most remote places of our consciousness, they are quick, they are smart, they re-emerge at any moment. They take possession of you and laugh, laugh out loud, as they watch you fail. They feed on your tears, the desperate ones, the ones you dry in a hurry with the palm of your hand, hoping that no one will notice them. They feed on your uncertainties, your fears. You should stop starving them. One with the blood, they run through your veins. They lurk in the bones, to the point of consuming them. You should stop. Yeah, you should stop. You should stop allowing the demons of your past to manipulate your present.

2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sustain |
    Aug 20, 2021 @ 22:12:53

    A good post. Thank you 😊


  2. Ashley
    Aug 21, 2021 @ 11:00:39

    At this time I think everyone must be going through some sort of change that we never imagined! It’s not madness; the world is changing and our visions, dreams, nightmares likewise! What can we do? What can I do? Very little! As joy-riders like Branson, Bezos head into space to plunder the universe! 😊💐🤗😘


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