The world is becoming butchers and we ourselves are the butchers, what an absurd paradox! While we are intent on destroying the world to “work” we do not realize that we are losing the place to live, we do not realize that without water and oxygen we cannot live, instead we can very well without oil, but what matters Moreover? Nowadays, of course, oil. But do we realize that we are dying piece by piece? All, all of all ethnic groups, all colors, without any difference, from all social states, from all over the world. We are dying and we think about the differences we have between us instead of uniting everything that unites us to build, we are destroying and we don’t know how to think about anything else!
And here I am, struggling with my classic panic attack, with my crises, crises that do not depend on what happens to me, but which depend solely and exclusively on my thousand fears and paranoia. Do you think I’m stupid? Unfortunately you are right, you are absolutely right. The doctor says that it is the coffees that fuel my state of perennial anxiety, but I don’t think it changes much (also because today I only drank a coffee). What leads me to stay like this is myself. For example right now I think I should try harder to build a future that is worth living, I think I should try to give less affection because it is often not reciprocated, I think I should have more time for myself, but then there I think back and conclude that probably I shouldn’t have any time for myself at all, I think I should satisfy the wishes of the people who love me, or maybe I should satisfy mine. I think I would like to be more independent from the world and I feel that I have not finished much, I think about the events that will happen, about the ones that I have seen in my vision and I am afraid that no one can imagine how terrible it will be. I think my heart is beating fast and I can hear it in my ears. I think I forget to breathe, I think it’s raining, I think if I don’t calm down it will get worse and worse. This is the problem: I THINK!
We are human. No matter what we try to do to convince ourselves that this is not the case, we are this and we are wrong, but this is also normal. We are stubborn, we are sad and misunderstood, but we must live with ourselves and love each other, but above all forgive ourselves. We must give up, we must stop wanting to feel strong to protect ourselves from others, we are human: we suffer.It hurts to fucking feel vulnerable, but we are made of flesh and blood, the fact is that we are vulnerable. We are only human beings, we are only mere creatures, like other animals, we are only ourselves, and however much it hurts to accept it: the sooner we accept it and the sooner we forgive ourselves! WE FORGIVE OURSELVES.

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