I’M SHY

 

Confidentiality, humility, modesty have become inconceivable. Everyone screams, so you have to scream to be heard; they all provoke, so you have to shock the other. It does not occur to many people that, if you are intelligent, there is no need to make your neighbor feel nothing and, if you are strong, you do not need to prove it by bullying or celebrating yourself; and that, if you are young and beautiful, perhaps it is not essential to load your beauty with sensuality, beyond all limits of good taste. Just as it is not essential to chase fleeting youth at any cost. Embrace every stage of life to truly live it. To flourish. Wither. Revive.
They often tell me that I am too reserved, that I do not show anything about myself, that I do not show selfies, I do not visibly give myself in the eyes of others. They say I’m too shy that I don’t like to expose myself as a masterpiece, that I blush, that I look down. But I believe confidentiality is now a rarity in this open house society. I don’t like showing my house, my garden, sometimes I put something but I don’t like letting all eyes enter my nest. It is my den, my world, and it is not a choice to be reserved. Being an artist I was used to showing everything about me, everything created. But the artist in some way, not all of them, remains behind his work, almost hides himself, because not even I know where everything I do or write comes from; it is a mystery to me too and therefore I keep it dear, protected, just as I keep hidden what I have inside my heart.

6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ashley
    Oct 18, 2021 @ 11:49:25

    πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’πŸ™‹β€β™‚οΈ

    Reply

  2. seekingdivineperspective
    Oct 19, 2021 @ 03:25:51

    I know what you mean about the artist hiding. With art you can either bare your soul or hide – or both. Even in theater, a shy person can be on stage, performing for hundreds of people, and at the same time be hiding behind someone else’s character.

    Reply

    • Fairy Queen
      Oct 19, 2021 @ 10:33:08

      I can say that when I was a little girl I tried to show my dolote more through art. The fact that I was abused as a child created two tendencies in me. On the one hand I try to reach out to others, I look for human contact, but on the other hand I am afraid of being abused again, even psychologically. Because violence is not done only physically but also psychologically.

      Reply

    • Fairy Queen
      Oct 19, 2021 @ 10:35:05

      In any case, before I was much more used to showing myself, to showing what I was doing because for me it was a necessity to show my suffering through art. But after my father died something changed and I closed in on myself.

      Reply

  3. Isha
    Oct 19, 2021 @ 06:56:11

    So heartfelt!

    Reply

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