A VERY BIG FAMILY

I have done more jobs since I moved than I had done in my hometown and this amazed me and helped me a lot, I have had independence since I was 18 because I did not want a life submissive to my mother. This created an armored inner center for me but pushed me to improve and grow. I just want to be happy and see the people I love happy, that’s all I ask for. It will take some time but I’m giving it my all I swear. Doing certain jobs, which when you say it no one understands what they are, is frustrating, and always makes you feel disregarded. My secret dream is to adopt many unfortunate children and give them a family. But if I’m not rich it’s not possible. There are many people who have children without thinking about how to raise them. That is, they make them and then leave them to themselves, regardless of whether they have enough space to play. I am not so unconscious as to put children in a room and glue them to the TV or PC. I like large families because I grew up in a small family. I know it’s strange, given that families in Southern Italy are always numerous. But I come from a modern family. Now there are no more traditional families as there were years ago. Now at most they have a child or two.

I’m worried. I see people planning their future down to the smallest detail and I remain stuck, living every day as it happens, feeling empty, with the knowledge that I am wasting my life, but without the desire to start doing something. Because I feel something bad will happen. Things will get worse. This bad situation will be even worse. Those who say that living in the day is a beautiful thing mind, you do not know what to do, and what you do does not lead you to anything. You wander aimlessly and always end up going in circles. You know and perceive things that others do not know, you see the future and this spoils your serenity. You say these things to others but are not believed. So what do you have to do? Do you have to shut up? Do you have to give up?