I am not a fan of the King. Few novels I really like. I've seen all the films based on her novels but I'm not a fan of her stories but this Lisey got me from the very first pages. I spent halfway through the book to find out what that "Bool" he often refers to was. The fact is, too many people hold so many things inside, about their past, and their pain, and they never talk about it until they are overwhelmed. And then you can go back to a normal life or lose it forever.


It is not true that I forget people. I just put them in a corner of my life that I will never look at again. I put them in that corner simply because I will take with me only the experience that meeting them left me. I don’t forget people, quite the contrary. I remember them very well, all of them! And it is precisely because I do not forget that some continue with me and others remain in that corner which is the “Past”! Nothing is forgotten and nothing is canceled, but there is a rule that I love to respect first and is to choose who becomes “Past”, who deserves to be “Present” and who will be honored to belong to the “Future”.
I’ve spent my life measuring words, thinking about how to move so as not to hurt others, anyone else, apologizing even when it wasn’t needed. To speak in a low voice, to keep the door open for others, to ask for ‘permission’, to smile at every crossed look, to always say thank you, to apologize for the inconvenience. To knock even where there was no door. To put myself aside, to give up, to set aside my priorities to make room for those of others. To repeat “it doesn’t matter” so as not to give thoughts to those close to me, even when it mattered, and a lot. To start any speech with the premise “Maybe I’m wrong”, to reach out to help someone get up and then end up with their asses on the ground, alone; with no hand outstretched in front. So now I crouch in a corner with my back to the wall and my knees to my chest watching life consume others. And I remain motionless, without apologizing.
We don’t notice when we lose hairpins, or a pen. We don’t care that much when we miss a bus, a train, a plane. We don’t mind when we lose math time for an assembly, or when we lose the desire to study for a question. We don’t give a damn about these things when we experience really important losses on our skin. Because losing a pen is not like losing a person, getting a bad grade because you haven’t studied is not like losing a friendship because you have left it out. Any lost bond upsets your life. Each person who enters us and then leaves leaves a void, which you may not feel, but inside will mess everything up and you will never go back to being the same person as before.
Stop for a moment, close your eyes and think. You are at the theater enjoying yourself, someone enters and starts shooting. They make you line up and, one by one, they shoot you calmly. Your wife is in front of you, she is being called … kneels. You hope it’s a nightmare, you hope they will change their mind, you hope they will save her, but they don’t. The person you have loved for a lifetime, with whom you have built dreams and projects and created a family, disappears in less than 10 seconds. And then it’s your turn. All the sacrifices, the struggles, the years of study to get that job that gives you satisfaction, everything vanishes in the face of death, where you have nothing to do with it. This morning you woke up, you will surely see those corpses on TV, while most of them, the victims, collapsed to the ground, did not even have time to understand what had happened.



I met a special person, but very special, with whom I fell in love. I fell in love in a very special way, I would say unique. She was always quick to ask me if I had eaten, if I had been fed. An attention that refers to the very loving ones of grandmothers. Taking care of a person, that is, worrying if he has eaten, is a profound demonstration of love. And she loved me. Much. In a special and profound way as she was. She is still a special person today, even if she no longer feels that love for me. He left me a great life teaching, it’s nice to learn and take the good bits from the people you cross in your life. So thanks to your care I eat. Much. My dietician says I have to forget it soon, because that’s not good. The love for her that has taken root in me has also reached my stomach, and today it affects my life … sorry, my waistline. If you read my special someone dear know that I ate, with love. As you wanted.
How hard is it to love each other? There is always something that does not satisfy us, the mirror is our worst enemy. And no matter how much a person says he is fine or loves his body, there will always be that moment of weakness that makes us say “oh but if it were so .. if it were different”. We are not satisfied, we know that perfection does not exist and that it is a matter of points of view but we chase it like a dog chases a cat. It is difficult to love each other, not to judge oneself. But you always have to try, do that beauty routine that makes you feel pampered but that never becomes a routine … buy that dress you like even if it doesn’t fit you like the model you saw it from, because that’s how you are and man you are beautiful in all the flaws you see, do that two day diet that makes you feel super fit those workouts to have the peach and then abandon them and go back to being the best version of you. Because we women are so bipolar one day I love myself and one day not.
I love spaghetti, tagliatelle, cannelloni, lasagna, bucatini, and the red sauce. Red is good humor, red is beautiful flavor, tasty and I love red in dishes, tomato, tomato “SUGO” is my true eternal passion. SUGO is not the american tomato sauce or ketchup, ok?


Towels, plant wounds, I cry, among the leaves, I cry because everything got wet, it ended up in a ditch, I ended up in a ditch.
The room I was put in got flooded.
My crying no one saves him.
Sea salt does not absorb tears or moisture.
The sea is too far away and I have drowned. I dry the leaves, they are my inner plants,
I got my hands dirty but everything is useless.
The plants wither, the flowers rot, the house collapses, I collect bricks and chickpeas, and it doesn't rain but I cry.
I tightened my shoelaces to walk, but my feet no longer go.
The road is unpaved, with holes in it, no one comes here, there are too many holes.
The lady of the cats, the one who came to me and spoke to me, perhaps she is now dead.
My heart is buried you chickpeas, I can't even float on water.
I water new seeds and new plants.
The sun calls me out but I feel bad.
I can't swim anymore and this weight inside me splits me in two.
We are two opposite plants, me and her, the killer ivy.
I dream of bad things and they do not come true and then I would like to give up and empty all the vases, empty all the rooms, destroy the world.
Books under the bed, books in the cupboard, in the book cellar, in the book room,
and they end lives,
lives begin,
people who live and I the only one who does not have a life.
I am locked inside the house, I am locked inside the garden,
I'm locked inside the bedside table,
 inside the chest, inside the boxes full of books.
I broke into pieces of sheets and leaves.


I tore up black ivy roots
but they get even more tangled.
They squeeze with their clear prehensile feet,
they crush and crush,
they stick like black bandages to the trunk of the soul.
I tore up very green, 
splendid ivy, 
because they were as toxic and poisonous as bonds.
Strings that choke, choke, hurt.
I always hold children in my arms in dreams,
I feed them and I want to save them
but nobody saves me.
The blackness of the roots becomes ink and the poison enters the lungs.
I can't breathe in this toxic air, love is a guillotine and the head stays attached.
My children call
but my feet are cemented, 
I can't go to them.
Nobody saves us, 
it's not like in happy ending films, 
Nobody arrives and the ivy grows and suffocates us all, 
the graves will be made of earth, they will be splendid with plastic flowers and we will finally sleep peacefully.


My thoughts today go out to all those who are so eager to find a partner, that they are satisfied with a person who is ultimately not what their heart is waiting for. And with this (wrong) person they make plans, maybe even on a big scale: they have a child, they get married, they go to live together, they put a lot into play. Yet, yet, inside their hearts they know that it is ultimately not what they wanted. My thoughts go out to all these people who, for fear of not finding the right person, make the wrong one take too important places in their life. And one day they will see the person their heart was waiting for pass by on the street. The heart, poor thing, will rejoice, but only for a second. Because by now it will be too late to go back. Be patient, man.




Here, now we are finally at the expansion of the heart, if we have worked well within ourselves.We are encouraged to live our truth and to move full force into the future that we desire and feel as a thrust of the soul. Now is the time to recognize the difference between who we really are and the roles we have accepted to play so far. When we no longer resist all of this we are able to move full force forward towards a higher state of being and also to manifest more and more instantaneously our deepest desires of the soul. There are great things in store, a year of great expansion and celebration but all this only if we are able to let go of everything that is no longer serving our Higher Self and if we are able to stand firm on our integrity and move towards the our truth, the truth of who we really are. All this is possible only thanks to a careful work on ourselves that allows us to remember more and more who we are beyond all that they wanted us to believe (and that we have accepted), beyond any idea that others people have put it inside us. Then we begin to strip ourselves of all these layers: age, where we live, friendships, relatives, work, … everything we do and are only in relation to others. Let’s gather inside our inner world, free ourselves from all those layers that have made us liars, unaware, cynical, hateful, cold, … and begin to visualize our warm and luminous flame within us. We are that Light, why have we forgotten all this about us? It is our essence diviba but we allowed layers and layers of people, things and events to cover it and we no longer saw it. But now we begin to melt ourselves inside the heart and remove those layers. We are that flame. We are Love.

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