WE CREATE THE WORLD WHERE WE LIVE?

We create the world", I have heard and read this sentence in many videos and many articles.
They say reality is the projection of what everyone has inside.
But I honestly don't understand at all.
Inside me I have no hatred and violence and not even war, nor aggression and bad feelings.
I am a kind person, good affectionate, honest and sweet.
So why do I find myself in a world that is the complete opposite of me?
Now they are talking a lot about these multidimensional realities in which, scientists say, we live and which always vary and nothing is ever the same.
Instead it seems to me that everything has been the same for centuries, wars, the poor, hatred and violence. History repeats itself.
So what were you or I going to create out there?
Honestly, I don't like war or certain things and therefore I don't understand how they can be our inner projection.
The serenity.
Buddhists say reality is illusion, maya.
Ok but you get a bomb and you get hurt you feel it, you bleed, and if it's a complaint that's creating all this then we're all crazy.
I would like a beautiful joyful world full of flowers and serenity.
I want it and my mind doesn't?
It seems strange.
My mind works by following my will.
Or he makes his own and we know nothing about it.
Does the mind lie, someone says, that is?
Can't we even trust ourselves anymore?
I think life is too complicated today.
The peasants of the past were better off, they ate, slept, had children and that's it.
Now there is too much stress, too many things, too many obligations, and has life improved? No.
So many religions, so many salvific doctrines, so many philosophies of life we ​​feel worse than ever.
We have come to war.
We can take all the breaks we want but after? We find the same things as before. If you take a drug you have 10 minutes of heaven ok, but after? Then you come back to the same crap.
And did we create it or did they?
The others? The ones we should love, who maybe don't even have a heart.
Did I choose to be abused? For what? To raise my astral spirit or reach Nirvana?
Some say suffering is necessary, that pain helps. Bah! They are bullshit. Pain destroys, devastates, and giving yourself candy by saying certain phrases seems so stupid to me.
Nothing is resolved.
Human beings are bad, let's face it.
There are people who are not like you and me.
Maybe they suffered other bad things and reacted negatively, dropping bombs and killing people.
But surely they are doing it their will and not mine or yours.
And if my mind creates this then it was better not to have a mind and be stone or leaf.

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