BEING VICTIMS OF LOVE

They use other women to create competition and jealousy in their partner.

Exes can usually be placed by the narcissist in one of two categories:

fall in love with me
crazy.
The "crazy" exes are the ones who have seen through the psychopath's lies, have woken up and therefore refuse to take part in his perverse games again. These have not been left, but they have freed themselves, healed and definitively distanced themselves from the perverse. For this reason they are "crazy" in the eyes of the narcissist and are discredited in front of anyone.

The "in love with me" partners are those who believe they can still have some special role in the life of the psychopath / narcissist, they are still succubus and mostly in trauma bonding. When the psychopath moves away from the victim of the moment, he will recycle these old goals and convince them that they can still be soulmates.

By restarting the cycle of abuse, which will be shorter and more humiliating with these.

Why, though, do so many women fall into the narcissist's trap? Certainly for the very skilled mimetic abilities, reflecting the desires - lovebombing phase - typical of disturbed personalities, but not only.

Women approached by the toxic individual can react in different ways. Accept the stage of idealization and then, at the first signs of abuse, walk away. Or, and this is our case, they stay long enough to make them fall into the trap and become addictive and biochemically induced.
Many of us, especially the younger ones, have also had winning female role models to identify with, or losing models to walk away from. This has meant that many women have developed a strong ego, have achieved success, have increased their self-esteem

What I would like you to focus on is the fact that, regardless of successes and strength gained, almost all women have the internal image of the strong, protective, savior prince.
Jung would speak of animus, that is, the unconscious male part present in every woman. Here, this obviously unconscious part is characterized by the power characteristics mentioned above.

The speech is long, but I will only say that the companion that many of us seek is the strong warrior who protects.

We come to us: How does the narcissist show himself at the beginning of the relationship? It shows itself like this. Nurturing, attentive, protective, strong, in control, authoritative, loving but firm, paternal ...

This is why you can fall into the web of lies of manipulative people while being strong women.

In an incomparable way they know how to awaken the child and bring back to light the unconscious image of the "father".
When the narcissist decides to discard his victims he begins to use a technique also known as punitive silence or silence treatment. In short, he does not make himself heard, he does not let himself be traced, in the most serious cases he blocks the victim and obviously does not show himself.

The problem with this behavior is that it happens without any kind of explanation, or rather, without any kind of satisfactory explanation. The victim, in fact, in the devaluation phase will certainly have tried to recover the recoverable, seeking communication and confrontation. Obviously these will never arrive and in case some answer is received, it was certainly not the decisive one.
As mentioned, the narcissist wants the victim to be dependent on him even when he is not present. This means that he has done his job in the best possible way by becoming a very powerful ascendant. So how should the victim react? What is the best way not to succumb to this kind of behavior?

Simply ignoring. The narcissist should not be given the satisfaction that he has made it, even if in most cases, he always does. You don't have to point it out to him, you don't have to look for it and you have to use every means of communication carefully. Blocking the naricist on social networks is a very delicate key, it is correct to block him on social networks or whatsapp to limit contact with him in every way. But you only have to do it when you are sure you can do it! If for example it is blocked and after a few months unblocked because you feel nostalgia for it or any other reason that leads to this action, you are giving it unparalleled power.

It is like serving him his dignity on a silver platter, he will use it again to prostrate the victim and is turning his hand a little more. So, to block it and totally eliminate it from social networks you have to be sure you can do it, otherwise it's better not to do it. You can use other methods such as the function of hiding its updates or the function of facebook "take a break". He will not notice anything and the victim will be "saved".

 

HELP FOR BROKEN FAMILIES

The dysfunctional family is a family in which conflicts, deviant behavior and abuse predominate. Each of these families lives in fear and the weakest members are constantly subjected to physical and psychological violence.

In these family models, authority is replaced by a distorted idea of ​​authority that is exercised through manifestations of anger, the need for control and aggression.
We remember how families and couples, as well as every single individual on earth, by nature and evolutionary processes face what we call a "period of crisis". Carl Whitaker, pioneer of systemic family therapy, identifies various crises within the couple. One of these occurs when the two partners realize that the other will never become what they wanted to become and that they will never be able to completely change it. To this crisis are added others, such as those marked by specific events, such as the birth / growth / education of children, bereavement, serious illness. And it is enough to observe the period in which we live to realize the drama in which all these aspects can convey
To date, the first test we had to overcome was to completely change our habits: the transition from hectic daily activities to immobility, stopped and blocked in confined spaces, for days and days, was not easy. And the awareness that today this will not end as soon as we all hope can make it even less bearable. So we have to deal, within those domestic walls, with the management of what have become only long and interminable days to fill. Everything that relieves us from coming into contact with us, our emotions, reflections on our own self, is now outside (friends, sports, holidays and travel, .. et al.). And the isolation in which we find ourselves, full of continuous disastrous news on the progress of the pandemic, can only be a further sharpener of emotions such as fears, anxieties and depressions.
It can be useful to start the day taking care of us, of our person, of our spaces especially if shared with 2 or 3 people of the family unit, and even more if we consider the units in which there are also grandparents or uncles and if the spaces they are reduced;
You can discover a new way of preparing yourself towards yourself and the new time available, dedicating yourself to activities for which we did not have time before (cooking, gardening, bricolage, et.al.). All this can be an opportunity compared to a new way of placing oneself within the family space and discovering a new relational dimension;
With children it can be useful, bearing in mind the differences for age groups, to maintain a daily routine as much as possible, to be recreated totally new as we have tried to do with ourselves: the day can be spent alternating playful moments with recreational moments , to play spaces and free exploration, to moments of sharing with the family.

THE NARCISISTIC WOMAN

The narcissistic woman can present herself as the perfect woman and partner: intelligent, cultured, brilliant, attentive, kind, determined to fulfill herself, dedicated both to work and to the couple and to the family, but she can also present herself as fragile and as a victim to be saved. After the first phase of idyll in which the partner is idealized as special, anger, dissatisfaction, constant criticism, devaluation, emotional blackmail using the sense of guilt, punishment if he does not get what he wants. Jealousy, arrogance, vindictiveness emerge, the constant need for confirmation of being special. However, unlike the narcissist man who tends to suddenly become repulsive, the woman, while launching continuous recriminations and criticisms, continues to demand affection and attention, making it more difficult for the other person to extricate himself from the feelings of guilt, from the doubt of being emotionally inadequate. and not to give enough.
The narcissistic woman, just like the narcissistic man, weaves her web through affective manipulation, often using her very seductive aspect: she knows how to choose her victim in her greatest moment of need and every man can be attracted to her bewitching " song of the sirens ". At the beginning, therefore, she becomes the savior of the man / victim by nourishing his desire to feel important and esteemed: he covers the man with attention, fills his inner and emotional voids, making him feel invincible; induces him, in a subtle and suggestive way, to take "steps longer than his leg", destined for sure failure as they do not adhere to a given reality, but are artfully conceived with the sole intent of feeding the man / victim through the reinforcement of an ideal and grandiose self-image.
The narcissist is almost always manipulative, capable of establishing ambiguous relationships and bonds just to have financial support, power and gifts. He often looks for men who are insecure, clueless, inexperienced and virgin. She seduces them by making them believe she is a beautiful princess, a queen, a beautiful lady, who only wants to give love. Instead, look for victims to get money and gifts from.

She is convinced that she is great and unique, a special being, deeply envied, the holder of the truth. It requires continuous proofs of love and recognition and reads the reality around it, even the most authentic, with Machiavellian malice.
She becomes deeply entangled and tries to change the man in all his essential characteristics, deepening in him a pervasive and pervasive sense of inadequacy.

He is never enough and never does enough, he is certainly not a real man, he does not correspond to how he should be and he never corresponds to her ideal. She doesn't like anything about him and the criticism involves all aspects: his work, his family, his status.

The relationship becomes an earthquake whose epicenter is her unhappiness due to his inadequacy and the unfortunate's attempts to respond adaptively to high demands.

It is a relationship centered on great events and great dramas: betrayals, interruptions and reunions even when everything seemed highly compromised.
She always has other men, in addition to the chosen victim, which she uses to get money, paid bills, jewelry, gifts, beauty treatments, ... because to maintain her seductive appearance she must always resort to beauty centers to always show herself perfect and desirable. Thus the man-victim will not be able to help but desire it.
Narcissistic women (in the overt version) are bright, extroverted, interesting women, very focused on themselves, their physical appearance, their fulfillment and their goals; apparently they do not seem anaffective, cold and calculating, indeed often, they are perfectionist women, who dedicate themselves to the couple and the family, in such an obsessive way, as to be attentive to even the slightest defect of the other, always ready to reproach it, if , this defect may disregard their expectations as a woman or as a mother.

However, as in the case of men, the narcissistic woman never enters into intimacy with the other (avoidance of intimacy), does not want to show herself fragile, cannot lose, cannot lower herself, cannot risk compromising herself in the relationship. authentic with the other, for this reason the other must become as you believe that an ideal man should be.
It can be more difficult for a man to go and ask for help from a therapist, because there are still present prejudices towards this professional figure. Furthermore, man complains less about his problems, often avoiding to affirm that they exist, he is ashamed to admit to being a victim, preferring to withdraw into himself.
The other is perceived as an object rather than a subject with which to relate and in this sense, a pure instrument of self-satisfaction. In fact, she dominates man, even if she deceives him that it is the opposite. She makes him fall madly in love, binds him to himself with almost non-existent sexual relations, so that he desires her more and more, humiliating himself and giving many gifts to try to convince him to love her. But the narcissistic woman plays the part of the unattainable queen, sovereign of desires, and the man becomes her doormat. The trouble is that the man is lucky to have the attention of such a beautiful woman and therefore does not realize that he is being exploited and used.

NARCISISM AND POWER

But why does the narcissist seek power? Because it is fragile, because its feet are made of clay. Alongside the grandiose image that he exhibits outside, coexists the image from which he desperately tries to escape: that of being a nullity, without any value. The narcissist fears judgment and fears criticism, even constructive, because it calls him back to reality. But reality, for him, behind the grandiose mask, is emptiness, the nullity of feelings, insignificance. The narcissist is afraid to reveal himself, because deep down he feels unacceptable. If the negative image rises to the surface, he feels lost. Pain and a sense of humiliation resurfaces: he feels weak, exposed, afraid.
The narcissist despises the feelings of others because he despises his own feelings, the authentic ones, those feelings that lead him to recontact the original pain and depression. He detached himself from those feelings, choosing the schizoid path of alienation and covering them through anger.
If we look at the surface, we see the narcissist's arrogance and arrogance towards others. If we look deeply, through the eyes of the soul, we see that he practices the dance of arrogance in the first place towards himself, towards his tender parts and his most intimate feelings. The heart of his soul, the flow of deep feelings, is hindered and imprisoned. A jailer of himself, he has become a captivus, a villain. By separating, alienating himself from himself, he betrayed his own soul. Having abandoned the sinballein, the divine spark, the ubuntal conscience, the trust in everything, he entrusted himself to the diaballein, to the devil, to the great internal liar.
Narcissistic people, in order to bear their weakness and to enter a state of grandeur, to deny reality to some extent and to feel more stimulated and stimulating, often drink and use drugs. They need to get stunned, to increase their energy through alcohol: they are braver if they are tipsy. In fact, the use of stimulants helps them to face the great and dangerous world, but risks making them even more detached from the sense of self and therefore even more ruthless, critical, oppositional. Sometimes they feel naked without barriers and defenses. In those moments, they feel a great fear of living and begin to feel sorry for themselves and to make victims. "How I have reduced myself," a desperate man will say because he feels abandoned by his lover who acted as a great mirror for him.
That of the perverse manipulator is a perversity akin to the depravity of moral sadism. The perverted character (perverse manipulator) has a conflicting personality, while the perverted narcissist is more subtle, acts without arousing the slightest suspicion, indeed manages to arouse compassion. The perverted character is more presumptuous, more uncompromising and aggressive. He reacts to frustrations in an exaggerated way and takes pleasure in humiliating his victim. After all, the pleasure of domination is only a typical perverse feeling. The perverse manipulator shows a clearly morbid attitude, a destabilizing behavior, a strategic ideation. It goes in search of destructive stimuli, has no scruples, remaining immune from feelings of guilt. Since he does not trust anyone, he has no friends, but accomplices. Sexual depravity exudes it in raw and coarse language, frankly vulgar, but, what is worse, it actualizes it in rape and incest. In the differential diagnosis, however, they can be clearly distinguished from paranoiacs, as the mental structure of the latter is an impediment to any emotional relationship, while perverts of character use the narcissism of others, and manipulate it, to strengthen the incompleteness of their ego.
The relational manipulator is a narcissistic, self-centered pathological personality type; a psycho-affective vampire that feeds on the vital essence of its prey. He criticizes, despises, blames, blackmails, reminding others of moral principles or the pursuit of perfection, but this only when it comes in handy. And to achieve his goals he resorts to deceptions, pseudo-logical arguments that turn situations upside down to his own advantage. Often its communication is paradoxical: opposite messages in double bind, to which it is impossible to respond without contradicting oneself; or it deforms the meaning of the speech. He commits himself, takes no responsibility, does not formulate explicit and clear requests. Yet he does not tolerate rejection, he always wants to have the last word to draw his conclusions, even if they are not shared. Change opinions and decisions. Above all, he lies, insinuates suspicions, reports misunderstandings. Simulates somatization and self-depreciation, but substantially demonstrates emotional disinterest.
In short, it is a question of disturbed and disturbing personalities, with which one can bond emotionally in order to be inevitably destabilized by their perfidious influence.

COVERT NARCISIST

Unlike overt narcissists (overts), coverts appear shy and inhibited, sometimes depressed, and always overly concerned with the judgment of others. They lack the drive for realization typical of classic narcissism and therefore lead gray lives while attributing their failure to others, to "life", secretly harboring feelings of anger and deep envy.

They cultivate unconfessable fantasies of glory, superiority and success, but, unlike the "overts", the hidden narcissists manifest experiences of inferiority that make them susceptible to the slightest criticism.

Often they undertake artistic paths or studies considered socially prestigious without results, given the superficiality of their commitment. However, they do not give up the label of "writer", "musician" or future "lawyer" even when, with all evidence, they will never succeed in their intent.

The appearance of "damned", of injured chicks, of "victims of life" can deceive those who fall in love with covert narcissists and plunge them into the gears of emotional dependence that revolve around the need to help the frustrated partner. The coverts react to the love and dedication of the other with reluctance to change and respond through the incessant trauma of silence, emotional inhibition and depressive withdrawal, up to the unpredictable abandonment inflicted on the partner as an unconscious "retaliation" of the own failures.

Akthar (1989) emphasizes that covert narcissists are "unable to stay in love" and experience the difference in interests and values ​​of which the other is a healthy bearer with extreme difficulty and discomfort. The inability to tolerate subjectivities other than their own is one of the reasons why coverts are unable to stay in a relationship for long: they fall out of love overnight and for this reason they are ultimately as destructive and pathologizing as overts.

In fact, together with their own narcissism, these subjects hide aggression, contempt, personal failure and the impossibility of loving in a system of progressive relational sabotage completely incomprehensible for the partner, who remains entangled in the sense of guilt and inadequacy without sensing the serious abuse and neglect to which it is subjected.

The drama of emotional dependence with a hidden narcissist is accentuated by the almost total unawareness with which the covert experiences the relationship and their feelings, an unawareness that prevents the victim from becoming aware of what is happening and of those in front of him.
You call and he doesn't answer. He does not call back, or call back when he wants. You send text messages that seem to get lost in the maze of Machiavellian unpredictability, then, after hours or days, insipid and telegraphic replies arrive.
Show callousness, coldness, and sincere disappointment at the slightest request to commit to the relationship. It is capable of overwhelming "leaps", but they last that half hour that you "make love" or so. Then again cryptic, fickle and confusing communications mix with increasingly dry silences.
And if you are bold enough to move on, if instead of urgently and definitively interrupting the relationship, you continue, everything else comes: the devaluation, the aggression, the constant feeling of precariousness and danger, the pathological jealousy, the desperation of the chase and of derision.
These are the typical phenomena of the relationship with a perverse narcissist, a man who, often beyond his own awareness, acts in a destructive way and pushes his partner into the spiral of emotional dependence.
Initially, therefore, the narcissist sells himself very well to the empath, pretending to be a victim, asking for help and emotional support, or showing himself admirable and valiant. The empath may fall in love or simply feel affection and compassion for the character played by the narcissus, and then will put his energies into what seems to him a just cause, becoming the primary source of narcissistic nourishment, even after the narcissist has stopped acting. the wonderful initial character.

When the empath becomes a victim of the narcissus, he is reduced to the rank of co-dependent.

The empath tends to be naive and makes an incredible effort to understand the fact that there are people without scruples, ethics, good feelings and morals. So he will try in every way to keep the slices of salami over his eyes and not to notice the discrepancies between the fabulous character played by the narcissus and the real, horrible being that transpires here and there as the relationship with the narcissus proceeds.

The empath tries desperately to continue to believe in the existence of that wonderful person, otherwise all his beliefs will prove wrong and the world will collapse on him.

Meanwhile, the narcissus blames his own misdeeds on the empath, who according to him does not provide him with enough love and adoration and who knows what else: otherwise, he argues, the narcissus would be serene and would continue to be the wonderful person of the early days.

The empath believes in it and takes all the blame for the problems of the narcissus and the relationship. Then he is convinced that to heal the situation, he or she must give, give more and more, until he is totally drained.

At this point, the empath generally ends up on the verge of suicide or self-destructive behaviors, and the narcissus gets rid of it as soon as it finds a new, fresh and "juicy" victim.

Moral: if you are an empath, stay away from daffodils. All the more so if you have a history of codependency or narcissistic parents. Read, get informed, learn how to recognize them and how to manage them, learn to take care of yourself and above all to dedicate your empathy to worthy causes.

Not everything and everyone must be helped; channel your gifts of sensitivity and compassion into a suitable job or volunteer, rather. And practice discerning and saying no.

NARCISISTIC LOVE

Loving oneself and loving others are two inseparable things, one the reflection of the other.
This makes me think of narcissists, who in the common imagination are people who love only themselves.
But starting from the premise made, we understand that their love for themselves is no less sick than that felt by those who love others without loving themselves.
In both cases it is a simple compensation of infantile needs, neither is pure love. But society only takes it out on narcissists (and their invisible insecurities) and instead puts those who love others on a pedestal to satisfy their ego.
We are perpetually deceived by the courteous and kind manners of certain people which lead us to think that there is a correspondence between them and the goodness of soul.
On the other hand, among the most common masks and disguises of ugly people, inside there are beautiful manners.
They serve to sidetrack the real thoughts they have about others and relieve their feelings of guilt.
A person with strong narcissistic dynamics does not tolerate being left behind. Not because he cares about you. Because he wants to manage the waste. If she is the one to leave, she does so naturally and without scruples. If one dares to leave it, it will not be tolerated. Often he will try to hang up and then be able to suddenly get out of the relationship, keeping the image of himself victorious. Let us remember in all this what is important to her is not you. It is to safeguard itself. There are people who tend to get overwhelmed and humiliate themselves with everyone in the most varied contexts. When you get used to overstepping your limits because you are unable to oppose, rebel and say no, you enter a deadly loop in which you lose your borders. To the sense of humiliation you risk to become anesthetized and never get out of it.

The opportunities for awakening, however, happen to everyone sooner or later and it is one that must be taken advantage of to be indignant and raise one's head.

Living crushed, humiliated, submissive and bent can cause premature death or eternal unhappiness. Saving opportunities need to be seized as they arise. It is only the idiots who do not know how to grasp them and remain in their mire.
It's not your fault you stay in the mud. It's just happening that someone or somebody, a narcissistic person, is using you and manipulating you to get something: money, sex, success, gifts.
There is no narcissist, man or woman, who does not lead a double or triple life.
Victims are always very surprised by this because, among the various deceptions they implement, they manage to make you feel unique when they are there.
And so we tend not to ask ourselves where they are when they are not there.
The answer is simple: to tell someone else bullshit. Victims of perverse narcissists and psychopaths in general should focus on their own narcissistic wounds and fear of rejection in particular. Because it is precisely when you insist on staying close to the bastards, at all costs, that the process of self-destruction begins. Staying next to an abused will only amplify a wound that will never heal.
The essential principle of recovering from the trauma of a relationship with a psychopath is through total and complete acceptance of the truth.
This truth is only betrayal. This truth is very painful, but it is the only one that can heal the wound of a betrayal [abuse] trauma.
Not accepting the truth causes the brain to generate the worst reactions, functioning like a computer that is stuck and does not advance.
The first and most necessary reset of your brain is assuming from the beginning of your recovery the ultimate truth of your own innocence and the undeserving of what happens to you.
You were betrayed by someone who shouldn't have done it.
Years of "blame treatment" by a psychopath can convince his victims that it's all their fault.
The truth is, loving a psychopath is scary to those who experience it.
His inability to feel and experience emotions leads him to a surprisingly frightening emotional coldness for his victims.
A life devoid of emotions bores them and, for this reason, they seek in betrayal, risk, deception or overcoming any moral or legal limit the way to be able to get out of that deadly tedium in which they live, thus generating emotions that devastate the partner.
His moral inability to take responsibility for his actions, his harsh and callous behavior, his sense of grandiosity and of deserving everything without any effort to achieve it, leads the psychopath to refuse to feel discomfort, guilt or remorse for his indolent, parasitic, unfair or directly predatory behavior.
It is always others who are to blame.
It is usually necessary to remind the victim that he is innocent. It's not his fault, but the psychopath's.
The victim did nothing to deserve this destruction. There is nothing that justifies what one suffers at the hands of the psychopath.
One of the most positive aspects of working with patients who have been victims of a relationship with a psychopath is the fact that the suffering they bring is of such caliber that they are more motivated than any other type of patient to do "whatever" you propose to get out. from the well.
In this sense, having suffered so much in a psychopathic relationship offers the best therapeutic predictions.
If you go ahead and believe in the truth of your innocence and have hope, you will heal your relationship with the psychopath and learn to prevent and anticipate in time any further trauma of abuse that may appear in your life.
To believe that you will move forward is to have hope. And hope is the best prognosis for your recovery.
Believe me when I tell you that all of this will end, and you will go on, even if now you don't see anything and you find yourself in the dark. Start turning on the light and be determined to move forward from truth and recovered innocence.

HELPING CHILDREN

In this particular historical period, I would like someone to ask me who my heroes are, the people for whom it is really worth waking up in the morning.

I would reply that my heroes are many.

Not the politicians (obviously), not my senior lawyer colleagues (often blinded by the race to earn money), not even the greats of history and those who have distinguished themselves for their valiant deeds.

My first heroine is V., 4, who gave me goosebumps one Saturday afternoon when she woke up desperate to tell me "I don't want to be in the children's home anymore, I want two great specials".

It is P., 2 years old, who when he sees me enter thanks me with his smile and his eyes, since his mouth still emits indistinct sounds.

It is also D., 16, who studies so much at school that her educators compete to go to interviews with teachers.

And it is also Paolo, a retired gentleman who does not like playing with children very much, but takes care of their home even just by changing a light bulb.

Or Emma, ​​a middle-aged lady who cooks her fragrant ragù for everyone on Sundays.

You see, Massimo, there are still many heroes in Italy that too many people do nothing but criticize.

Very few see them.

Yet my heroes are so simple that they are there for all to see.
Then they ask me why I do it.
Because I waste hours of my life trying to save the lives of others without gain, and sometimes naively risking my own safety.
Then they tell me that they think I'm wasting my time, making me feel like an egocentric exhibitionist. But then when they ask me these questions, well I think how superficial they are, which they judge without having tried such an experience.
Without having tried to stay 7-8 hours in a shift, always with the heart in the throat and the senses on alert ready to intervene.
Who do not know what it feels like to console and to give a word of comfort to a patient or a relative.
Because deep down they do not know the adrenaline that rises with the km / h in those few minutes of travel to the hospital, whether it is a trauma, overdose or a respiratory or cardiac arrest.
They do not know the concentration it takes to disinfect, tampon, stabilize any wound on the go.
But sadly, they won't even know the satisfaction that the simple grateful smile of the patients you just saved gives.
And that, it has an inestimable value which cannot be rewarded with any coin.
So when they ask me why I do this, I politely reply by saying
I do it because it makes me feel good to spend hours of my life trying to help those who need more than me for those few minutes of endless travel.
When I was operated on for a tumor a few years ago, I saw the children's cancer ward and I would have given my life to save them all. And I didn't understand why all those children had to be sick with such a bad thing. I would have died to be able to save them all but unfortunately it doesn't work like that. So you can at least ease some pain by making them smile.
If you live in a city where there is a hospital then you can look for volunteer groups and associations that help. It may not be important to you, but to all those children it does.

SEARCHING FOR COSPLAY IDEA

So, for a while now I’ve been getting into my head that I want to sew a cosplay costume. But I don’t know which character to choose. He should be an easy character to make, with an easy outfit. Female character. No weapons or too demanding items. Could you suggest me something?

 

SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE

When facing the Simplification Challenge, a good starting point is the decluttering of your home in which, over time, a lot of superfluous things accumulate that clutter not only the external spaces but also the internal ones.

In fact, it is now widely recognized, as shown by various studies on this topic, that the level of order of our home enormously influences our psychophysical well-being. In the long run, clutter creates stress for you because:

 It exposes your mind to overstimulation (visual, tactile, olfactory) which inevitably forces the senses to continuously process unnecessary stimuli

It distracts from the things you need to focus your attention on

It reduces your ability to relax

Constantly signal to your mind that there is still work to be done (remember that objects continually make you silent 
requests: dust me, wash me, iron me, fix me, read me, move me ...)

Increase your anxiety level because you never know how long it will take you to fix everything

Makes you feel guilty and sometimes even embarrassed (for example if you get an unexpected visit)

It invades the free spaces necessary to reflect and find solutions, thus inhibiting creativity and productivity

It wastes your time because it makes it harder to find the things you need quickly

GETTING BORED

Everyone has experienced boredom, perhaps on a rainy Sunday afternoon where there is nothing to do, it's cold outside and there is no one to go out with.
The boredom I am talking about in this POST comes from a deeper experience.
It is not boredom that arises from the absence of stimuli: it is boredom that arises from not being able to feel interest in the things we do and the people around us.
Anyone who gets bored in this way lives a daily life where nothing excites, involves and excites him.
The bored person dreams of a radical change, something that adds color to his existence but in the concrete he cannot indicate what could improve his life. new friends, try new clubs, invent a thousand things to do and even (in particular cases) try extreme sports or sexual experiences at the limit.
In fact, those who have this problem often manage to feel emotions and feel alive only by putting themselves in risky, extreme and transgressive situations which, however, over time lose their charge of exceptionality and become .. normal (therefore boring).
Those who are bored complain of easily getting tired of people, hobbies and anything: once the initial enthusiasm is exhausted, everything becomes obvious and the search for new friendships, interests and more stimulating and exciting situations begins again.
Boredom is not overcome by always seeking new stimuli or by radically changing my life (from the series "I quit everything and open a farmhouse in Tuscany") but by learning to value what you do, and to find a broader meaning in your daily life.
Small things are important but we often underestimate their value: for example, cleaning the house can be experienced as a tedious and tiring task but it becomes rewarding if I live cleaning as a means to create a comfortable environment for me and my parents. Dear.
Likewise, one's work can be immediately seen as an ungrateful duty, a source of boredom or considered in a more amapy perspective as a service to one's family or to the community.
The winning solution against boredom is to learn to be fully present in one's own reality and in one's family, work and social context.
The film "THE GROUNDHOG DAY " contains a masterful recipe to overcome boredom and apathy.
The protagonist of the film, a cynical and bored man, is forced by a spell to always relive the same day of his life, the day of the groundhog.
He finds himself stuck forever in living in a small provincial village, on a winter's day in a social context that seems to have little to offer him.
Every day the protagonist of the film wakes up knowing in advance how his day will unfold: it will be cold, he will always meet the same people and always make the same speeches. More boring than that!
To escape boredom, the protagonist does everything (including seducing some local girls) but nothing seems to give him satisfaction and his apathy increases day by day until he learns to live his day with a different spirit, looking at hers with love. everyday life.
The turning point comes when instead of focusing on the negative aspects of his situation (the cold, the small province, etc.) he begins to value the positive aspects of his life.
Instead of complaining about the winter weather, take advantage of the fun aspects of winter by learning how to make beautiful ice sculptures.
Instead of focusing on the flaws of the people around him, he learns to listen to them and help them by making so many friends. In a short time he begins to appreciate his reality that he previously considered banal and oppressive. And at that point his life changes radically, giving him everything he had always wanted (I don't write the predictable ending in case someone wants to see the film).
Finding yourself spending almost all hours of the day at home, following the Coronavirus emergency, and finding yourself at some point without knowing what to do, bored and almost, more tempted to go to bed in the middle of the afternoon because you really do is in the throes of personal despondency.

All is not lost, there is no need to break down but to find new life blood to face this period and come out stronger, when you can finally go back to making your everyday life.
Watch a documentary on a fact of history from the past to find out more

Start writing a personal diary, it doesn't matter if the first first does not coincide with January 1st
Take an online course on an unfamiliar topic that excites you

Write a map starting with one word and sequentially writing the first ones that come to mind

Order your desk, you will struggle less when you look for some precious papers in the morning

Read the book you've always promised yourself to do

Create a keepsake box by placing cards, photos, objects and holiday souvenirs inside

Try writing a fairy tale or a short story: you will remember when you heard them from your parents

Set up your favorite room

Scan with the scanner and archive your most important documents

Help a loved one in need: a phone call, right now, is worth so much more

Sort and catalog all your photos on your pc, creating easy-to-find folders

Cook a particular dish by leafing through a recipe book

Improvise a guide for a tourist in your city by walking around the house and improving communication

Delete bad memories from your social profiles

Listen to a new genre of music: who knows what different sensations you may experience

Enhance your resume to make it more attractive

Browse a geographical atlas to remember the countries and cities visited

Try drawing a landscape or a face

Watch a good moving film, comedy or thriller

Learn to take pictures with your smartphone

Start studying a foreign language

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