AN ARROW IN THE DARK SKY

We have called "time" the fact that we see things changing in only one direction. If you take an egg and crack it to make an omelet, it won't come back no matter what you do. Everything in the universe started from a single point of energy where every single thing that exists now existed, and it started to expand, this led to more and more change of this kind (called entropy) where we go from very ordered systems (see a point) towards messy systems (a cracked egg). In the case of the universe, it will lead to a universe with only atoms scattered around.
The other thing we see is the arrow of time, and the fact that everything goes towards what we have called the "future". Nothing can ever ever ever go back.

What humans have invented are systems to measure all of this and concepts to define them.

No, time doesn't always flow the same way, there are days that are so thoughtful, but so heavy that you carry them on even when they're gone. That time keeps flowing inside you even if it doesn't flow outside anymore.

I think it happens even to the best to crumple their life as if it were an old sheet of paper, a bad copy of something we consider important, words that are sought to describe the beauty of an emotion, but too ephemeral to reveal the perfection of a concept.

It happened to me too.

I lost control of myself relating to others. I lost it slowly, like when we let go of a rope because we can't handle the weight of our fears. I've lost it every time I've been disappointed, hurt, abandoned by who I thought was my "forever". I lost it and never looked for it again. For a long time. I just let it go. I let it go and sat at the bottom of the abyss becoming someone I hated.

Then I took several planes to random destinations: Venice, Milan, Amsterdam, London, Paris. And everywhere I let go of feelings I was tired of feeling. I abandoned my bad days, long faces, meaningless nervousness and even apathy. And even though I didn't realize it, I found it. It was hidden in every spontaneous laugh, in every heartbeat that got a little more intense, in every drop of rain that fell on my face, in the grains of sand that slipped from my hands, in a sincere hug that I wore like a blanket. He was there staring at me and I didn't recognize him. My ego has become a silent travel companion and can't wait to be reunited with me.

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