THE MONSTER CANNOT BECOME A MAN

A few years ago I collaborated with anti-violence centers, where women who suffer from domestic violence are welcomed to work through their trauma and become aware of what they have experienced in the home. In these centers I have heard the stories of women, always very sad stories, and the thing that struck me most was the thought of these women who were trying to make their husband-monster a man, a prince. They suffered for many years because they were convinced that sooner or later he would change and they believed in the tale of Beauty and the Beast in which he becomes a prince. 

Every woman I spoke to had this belief that she could free her man from that angry beast he had inside of him. But the result was that the man continued to be a monster, beating both her and the children. Unfortunately it is a common theme in many fairy tales, films and even novels, that of a criminal man, or monster, or villain, who is then changed into a prince by a woman, often known by chance. Thus many fairy tales, heard by little girls, become obsessions in the minds of women who seek in their monster the charming prince, who will never reveal himself. This belief in fairy tales, in certain myths given by films (such as the most recent good vampire Eduard Callen, and even the cruel Nigan of Walking Dead) make one think that any man or person deviated on a pathological level, can turn into a splendid prince or the good samaritan.

Unfortunately for those who know very well the existence of psychopathy this change is truly impossible unless you experience an event so traumatic that it completely changes your inner core. But by traumatic event I don't mean a love, a love story or something romantic, because let's not forget that the psychopath is anaffective. So the tale that the monster falls in love and becomes good, talented and affectionate is misleading and even harmful. Unfortunately, there have often been fairy tales that women learned as children and that made them grow up with the wrong idea about men. The idea that love saves everyone. The idea that a savior always comes. The idea that a magician intervenes to do a magic that can solve all problems. The idea that a princess alone cannot fight and needs a man next to her to live and face life's problems. 

These and other messages have been transmitted by many fairy tales, films, novels that are read, seen and received by women who often find themselves in bad situations and who dream of being able to solve them in that wrong way.
So even if the wolf disguises himself as a grandmother, he eventually eats the little girl. And there will never be a hunter who opens the wolf's belly to save the child from death. Therefore, girls must be educated never to believe that a wolf, in this case a bad man, can suddenly become good. Because this type of dream and fairy tales is harmful both for herself and for her children. 

In fact, in the meantime that the woman dreams of this change, the husband-monster, has already destroyed her self-esteem, the healthy growth of the children, and dominates the house like a tyrant and in addition uses verbal and physical violence. So we tell women to stop believing in fairy tales, movies and all those products created specifically to convey messages that do not help women at all to become aware of their condition and act in the right way.


 

WILD HEAT

Void similar to the sea,
swimming, digging into the water, spinning in whirlpools of effervescent bubbles.
Minds of thinkers, closed in towers.
Good directions,
red heart beast,
ritalized with resistant scissors.
The flood made even Moses tremble but for the animals it was only rain.
A part of me has its forms,
the other part only you see.
Dangerous island, you arrive, castaway, and dig a pit.
Stay inside my thousand drowned souls.



( ITALIAN RHYMING VERSION)

Cuore simile al mare,
nuotare, scavare dentro l’acqua, ruotare in vortici di bollicine effervescenti.
Menti di pensatori, chiuse in torrioni.
Buone direzioni,
bestia del cuore rossa,
ritaliata con forbici resistenti.
Il diluvio fece tremare persino Mosè ma per gli animali era solo pioggia.
Una parte di me ha le sue forme,
l’altra parte la vedi solo tu.
Isola pericolosa, tu arrivi, naufrago, e ti scavi una fossa.
Rimani dentro le mie mille anime affogate.

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