SOFTLY STANDING

The Witcher breaks into the monotony of my life with a light step. Soft, round shapes, beautiful and awesome, she teases me with her magic wand. He alone can work the miracle. Murmurs arcane formulas of magic and here I am young, beautiful and with the biemmevu. And for good measure with a few more inches of cock that she laughs at marble. But only until midnight, he yells at me joyfully and playfully, before disappearing in a cloud of white smoke. I am dazed to look down when he reaches the threshold of my being. I start the engine and run until I find a house on the edge of the woods. I knock on the door because I know I’ll find a Witcher inside. And in fact the one who opens me is so beautiful that nothing else can be. He welcomes me with a smile and puts his index finger on my lips. Dumb, I stay to watch him undress. he is beautiful without veils and without hesitation, while I realize that I already am. His bed is soft like her hands, like his fluffy hair. His soft lips, the most hidden ones are wet and welcome my desire to let him enter inside of me. I sink into that dream. His eyes know. His eyes strangely resemble those of the Witcher. My Prince is a Witcher. Suddenly I return woke. The door, where is the door? Almost the background in the stampede. just a cold wood. Return to the tree. I am a tree. I run away.

TAKING YOUR TIME

I was a girl with many dreams before, now I’ve lost them somewhere, not knowing who I am anymore. I was a shy girl, but now completely apathetic. My hair was long and always in the wind, now red and always tied up. I used to have beautiful fair skin, but now it’s scarred. My green eyes were always bright, now empty and dull. I was not very afraid, now I’m afraid of my reflection, like a child who is afraid of the monster under the bed. Now I’m just ashes. It is horrible to be homesick for yourself, for your own energy. When you look in the mirror and think, “Damn what happened to me?” “I was a completely different person. I realized that actually people don’t give a damn about knowing you, they don’t care who you are, they just want to feel less alone. They use you as a stupid stopper to fill the moments of boredom, of emptiness, which is there when you need it, which is forgotten when you have better things to do. Maybe that’s why I can’t trust people, maybe that’s why when I’m around people I feel like a fish out of water. We may look the same, it probably is. The change is not visible, at least not to most of us, but we have changed. Completely. Forever.
This period, this moment, is so difficult, I find myself in a situation that I now know well, all too well, this sickening apathy, this gray that makes your head break, this desire to cry for no reason, this littleness, this feeling like this. insignificant. Yet now it’s different, or it should, now I know how to get up, a shower, friends, a bit of entertainment, and nothing goes by but at least I pay less attention to it. Instead, here I am wanting to throw myself hopelessly on the bed and do nothing else, drown myself in a sleep that numbs my thoughts, canceling everything until it passes. Ignoring who I don’t want to ignore. Struggling with myself between what I know to be rational and what I would like. Wondering once again if I can do it, knowing the answer is yes but thinking it is no. Want to mess up. The worst part? Having to hold me back. Being forced not to isolate myself, having to keep myself up because I’m not physically alone, I can’t make it clear that I’m down. Worse still? Knowing they are just complaining. The knowledge that I should kiss my elbows, that there are people who are dying every day, by the thousands, alone, that there are people who are doing endless shifts feeling helpless.
Then the future, this huge messed up nothing, that can’t take a shape anywhere, in any way, the many possibilities in which not even one seems to be the right piece of the puzzle, which I keep turning and turning, trying to fit it everywhere. , to no avail, to the point that I will probably pick one at random and break it in an attempt to make it fit with something that has nothing to do with its half, with the suitable continuum. The question always remains the same, why can’t I be different? Why do I always have to get complicated? A lifetime of being told “you are never as person x”, we have always thought about this, we have all felt different at least once. I understood that it is better “not to be like someone”, “never like someone”. It is us, it is ourselves. Children, young and old, we are perfect. We have lived like crazy, we are living like crazy. Everyone lives in his own way, who lives as a madman, as a moralist, as an arrogant, as a bigot or as a frustrated one. We are the result of what we have around us. Each of us lives different and unrepeatable experiences that enrich us and make us wonderful. All people have stories … not just one. We never allow anyone to underestimate or belittle us. Because all of us, despite adversity, are the sun … and the sun never stops shining.

BLACK TEARS

We were lying in bed.
Like any other afternoon.
But this was no ordinary afternoon.
We were there under the covers.
Dressed but stripped of any pride.
You stroked my hair, playing with it.
I had my head hidden in your chest.
Up until half an hour ago, we had been sitting on that same bed.
You had tears in your eyes, you were holding your face in your hands, avoiding my gazes.
I used to cry with you, so vulnerable to see you sick.
You were trembling, sobbing.
"I can not lose you" you said to me in a faint voice.
"You don't love what I have become"
But at that moment I loved you even more.
We both got scared.
I am a mess, you know.
You feared for a moment that I was leaving and you freaked out.
A bit like I usually do, only more conspicuously.
I dried your tears and in the meantime I was making myself strong for both of them.
Because in the end the strength lies, if it comes to you.
Because if something scares both of you, I must always be there, to belittle it, to convince you that everything is fine.
You took me with all my problems, you picked me up and you decided to look after me, with all the patience and love of this world.
So when you go haywire, I'm there ready to play the part of the "healthy" and "reassuring" one, even if it doesn't suit me at all.
In the end we hugged tightly and pulled ourselves up;
not that we had eliminated all problems, in fact not at all.
But we were there for each other.
So once the thoughts died out, we remained embraced, with no words to say.
Only in a moment did you break the silence:
"Vanessa, I love you"
I said it all in one breath, as if it were the most important thing to say. Which, after all, it was like that.

BLACK FLOWER

my bed has a hole in it
my sock has holes in it
my heart is pierced
my sweater has holes in it
my glass has a hole in it
my shoe has holes in it
my mind is whole,
my empty cup,
my plate of green vegetables.
Tonight a nightmare of drinks and chic clothes. Black, red, gold and blue, sparkling, fabulous.
I didn't open my eyes because there was something else in my past.
I didn't want to wear clothes for anyone.
I want to stay in leggings and a T-shirt.
I want to stay out of the world of elegant zombies.

STORY OF A GOOD MORNING

Awake in the dark, still with my eyes half closed. I reach out towards you, I feel your smooth skin under my fingers, it seems to me that you are stretching your leg towards me or maybe you are dreaming, hard to say.

I go up with my hand, I look for you, I kiss you. Here is the navel and then higher. I kiss you again.

You're awake now, I'm sure, you're looking for me too in the dark. We kiss gently and then more and more passionate.

Our bodies are looking for each other, I undress you. You undress me.

I feel your skin against mine, your warmth. It's cool outside but it's hot right here in this bed.

"What a nice awakening" you tell me.

"Good morning" I reply.

You guide me inside you and hold me.

It's just us, you and me. You keep me inside you.

"Don't run away" you tell me.

"I'm not going anywhere" I tell you.

Let's stay like that, a little longer.

Who knows what time it is. Ultimately, however, it doesn't really matter to know.

"You interrupted the dream I was having," you tell me.

"Is that what you dreamed of?" I ask you.

"I do not remember"

"Excuse me"

"No, don't apologize, that's okay. It doesn't matter what I was dreaming about anymore. But it's the second day in a row that I have a dream interrupted. Yesterday Tigress did it when I woke up."

TAKE ME

When I was younger: I would put my arms in the shirt and tell people that I had lost my arms. I restarted the game every time I knew I was going to lose. I slept with all the stuffed animals like a baby so none of them got offended. I had that 4-color pen, and I was trying to push buttons at once. I poured the soda into a lid and shaken it as if I were making small glasses. the hardest decision was choosing which nintendo game to play. I waited behind a door to scare someone, then I left because it took too long to get out or I had to pee. I pretended to be asleep so I could be carried to bed. I thought the moon was following my car. I watched two drops of water slip on the window and pretended it was a race. I used to go to the computer just to use paint. the only thing I had to worry about was the tamagotchi. the only ‘false’ friends I had were the invisible ones. I sang in the shower. (now? now I take some life choices down there). I ingested some fruit seeds and was scared to death that a tree would grow in my belly. I peeled my knees which healed better than a broken heart. I remember when we were kids and couldn’t wait to grow up. what the hell were we thinking about?

HOW TO SLEEP WELL

I advised, in my old blog, to remove all electronic devices from the bedroom. To use only a futon or a wooden net and not a metal one. But they criticized me because they say that Feng Shui is not a science. Yet many people suffer from insomnia and don’t want an effective remedy like this. I don’t like technology in my bedroom. I prefer few knick-knacks.
In the Feng Shui style design of the bedroom, it will occupy the space farthest from the entrance to the house. Arrange the bed so that you have the windows on the opposite side of the wall or at the most on the side, so as not to have a hidden external view.
As for the bed position recommended by Feng Shui, the bed should be placed as far away from the door as possible. If your bed is too close to the door, there is a possibility that you will be caught in the surprises of life.
Be aware of the location of doors and windows. Try to avoid placing the bed between the two.
Choose inspirational art to decorate your bedroom, such as natural and relaxing scenes.
The bed should also be supported by a solid headboard with a wall behind it and should never be placed under a window. Both the headboard and the wall offer protection and support on a subconscious level. If you choose to sleep under a window, your personal energy will weaken over time, as it doesn't convey a sense of support and protection.
Even if there is only one person sleeping in the room, it is best to keep each side of the room symmetrical, in order to have a balanced energy on both sides, for example by placing a nightstand on each side of the bed, each with a lamp. . This is also important for maintaining balance in a relationship if you share a bedroom with your partner. Choose round bedside tables instead of square, as they reduce the energy that can be directed towards you while you sleep.
The bed should be of a good height, preferably without an inner container underneath. Energy must be able to circulate around the bed, so it is best to get rid of the mess and any deposits under the bed, if possible.
The color of your Feng Sui bedroom is also significant. You can choose the colors of the fire element (red, orange, purple, pink and intense yellow) for passion and energy, working to bring energy to support your career efforts and thus helping you to get the right recognition. The earth colors (beige and light yellow) are for a focus on stability, while pastel colors add feelings of peace and tranquility. The feet of the bed should not be facing either the door or a mirror. For a correct rest, plants and flowers should also be avoided.

Attention must also be paid to the orientation of the edges of the furniture. It is preferable that these do not point towards the bed, as it is believed that the edges generate negative energy waves, capable of disturbing sleep.

In this environment, the preferred colors are soft colors, such as blue, light blue, white.
Feng Shui is not only about what we put in a room, but also what we keep outside.

Technology in the first place is not suitable for a sanctuary, so it has no place in your bedroom. Technology is a distraction and can contribute to stress and anxiety, so it's best to remove TVs and laptops, as well as your cell phone. If space is an issue and you need to have a TV or laptop in the bedroom, cover it with a scarf when you're not using it, or store it in a closet.

Books should also be kept in other rooms in the house. While it is recommended to keep a few books near your bed, on the nightstand, having the walls lined with books can make you feel overwhelmed and feel closed.

Mirrors should be avoided in a Feng Shui bedroom, as they can disturb sleep by bouncing the reflected energy, keeping you awake and restless. If you share your bedroom with a romantic partner, it is also thought that a mirror invites a third person in the couple, opening the space for infidelity.

Equally important to keep Feng Shui out of your bedroom are fountains, water features or even just images of water, as they could cause financial losses or theft; as well as plants and flowers, as they can create too much activity and energy for you to rest properly.

Finally, get rid of the clutter to allow the energy to circulate properly and throw away the clothes you no longer wear: keeping them in your bedroom could prevent you from embracing new opportunities. It is better to avoid cluttering the bedroom with photos of friends and relatives or images of religious iconography, as you will feel like you are being observed and judged. 

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