FIRST OF ALL

You don't start over, just like that ... straight away.

Like one morning you open your eyes and magically you have forgotten everything.

No, that's not how important changes work.

It starts again in pieces.
One morning you opened your eyes and a piece of that anger went away; then you lose a little bit of interest the next day and the next day you wake up again and start thinking about it after lunch, it's no longer your first thought in the morning.

The questions, those you never lose: what you lose is the desire to know the answers.
You start over one piece at a time, so at the beginning you seem to always stay where you are.

But don't worry: a little bit of that weight you carry on you is gone even today.

PLANT YOUR HEART

At a certain point

You decide to be born.

And it is as if this childhood

It was an abuse, a compulsion

To live

A condition to undergo

But at some point you are born

Decide which side to take sides

Whether to redeem yourself or repent

Whether to live or die

Whether to open your eyes or flee

Why sooner or later

You will fall into the archaic trap

In the question of the questions

To which there is no answer

But only points of view

And if you think about it, it could be playing bingo

Or play an important role

The meaning of your life

I hope it will be paid

Your expectation.

Whatever it is

Why sooner or later

You will fall into the question of questions

To which there is no answer

But only points of view

And you will start thinking about your body

At the finite time that characterizes us

How there can be no beginning without an end

And it will be here that perhaps you will notice the hitch

How every day tribulations for small matters

Because in the face of the end we are like autumn leaves

And then you will use the most varied theories

You will believe the three maries

Maybe a deity who tells the faithful how to lead their lives

Perhaps you will find joy in a prophet

In the most complete anarchy

Or maybe you will believe in eternal darkness

But the point is that perhaps this is the meaning of dying

That of being able to start over

Once again to feel

Human.

GOING OUT

After about two months of forced distance, today I went back to walk in My Beloved park and it almost did not seem real to me that I could see with My eyes, My beloved trees and bushes that I have missed a lot, just like being in contact with Nature while I immerse myself in its colors and its unique smells that do so much good to My increasingly stressed and restless spirit. While I was walking rigorously accompanied by the pressing and unmistakable rhythm of My Beloved Music, the sun wide open on My face and the imagination at hand, I had almost the perception that everything suddenly stopped, as if these two months had never passed. actually existed, picking up where everything left off. The only difference is that this time I was wearing a mask, which contrary to what I expected, did not bother me particularly, as did the thousands of pollen scattered almost everywhere. They did not prevent me from fully enjoying that moment so long sought and uniquely Mine. Yet this time I began to let my mind pervade the various accumulated doubts and perplexities, to try to group them and let them escape. Now more than ever I feel the need to empty My Soul, like a trash can full of waste paper to throw away to make some space – and as I listened to the noise they made as they were thrown away, I began to feel a lot relieved, because they weighed on My imprisoned heart like a real boulder. The feeling of liberation I feel every time it happens cannot be described. I walk at a fairly high speed, I don’t want to exaggerate, I just want to walk, to enjoy that long-dreamed and desired peace, thus rediscovering the joy of doing something I love and that for a very long time I was not allowed to do, thus rediscovering it and loving it as if it were the first time. At a certain point on a bench I find a little girl sitting with the tool in her hand to be able to make soap bubbles, and immediately my childhood comes to mind when I also liked to do them. I am amazed that they still exist. Exactly like I did, you too love to blow into it to discover the effect it has. And just as it happened to Me, I was ecstatic to see on his face that veil of disappointment to discover that he had no possibility of command over them. The bubbles wander in the air without anyone being able to grasp them, and when they feel they have no air thrust, they go out by themselves. In short, they are without masters, completely free to fly and to choose as they want. So My life comes to mind and I think she is the same too, although she is Mia I feel I have no control over it, free to do and act as she sees fit, without ever deigning to ask me for an opinion at least. I can and must only accept what he proposes to do, thinking that whatever it is, he does it for My Good. For everything there is a why and I have understood that My Life intends to make me discover them little by little, without going around them so much, direct and straightforward as it has been from the beginning. However it is fantastic to be able to regain possession of My Normality, albeit with the right and due prudence. It was hard to leave when it was time to go home, maybe because I’m afraid I may have taken it off again, the very thought makes me tremble. I really hope it won’t happen, even if the imprudence of others does not give me hope! Better not think about it. Better to keep thinking about that soap bubble that wanders in search of its freedom, between memories and a lot of desire for redemption.

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