i spend my days waiting. waiting for the water to boil and my tea to be ready. for spring to come back. for more daylight. the oil in the pan to heat up. a “hey i miss you” or “can you help me out for a second?” or “you want to hang out?” text. for my phone to finish charging. for good news. flowers on the table. the next hug. “hey, you got the job!”. waiting for the sun. to set. to rise. to see both. for summer to be around the corner. a good song. a falling star. a text back. i spend my time waiting to be remembered. i spend my time repeating that tomorrow will be better. tomorrow will be better. i spend my days waiting and waiting and waiting. i spend my days waiting unbearably.

I tell you a mystery: It has been appointed to those who are born twice to die once, but by no means shall they die a second time. Yet those who do not come to Me in repentance shall be born once and die twice. Yet there are some among this generation who shall never taste death, having already passed from judgment into life. Thus to My chosen elect, there is a death of the body unto resurrection. Yet for those still living at My return, there is a death of another kind – the crucifying of your old man with his sinful ways, the putting on of the new man who is renewed in the knowledge of the Truth, restored in the image of Him who created him. Thus when one is born into this world, the child and the mother suffer the pangs of childbirth, until the birth is complete. In the same way, those born of the Spirit shall suffer travail. For they are not yet separated from their flesh or this world, in which they continually stumble.

That eye contact be like gazing into the depths of your soul like I am on the precipice of the void and I am about to fall in.. earth shattering heartbeats, don’t break the gaze. You have the most beautiful eyes, I find that I could look into them for days.. it’s as if our souls are touching intimately, through the looking glass as if we were looking into the future and the past. It’s the craziest feeling looking directly into another soul, I see you, you see me, bared and scared, at any second I could run away..

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