SITTEN WOMAN WITH THOUGHTS

I can not talk. 
I can't argue.
I cannot neglect myself.
I can't tell my ideas.
I cannot rebel.
I can't cry.
I can't argue at night.
Because I am a woman.
I have to be quiet, good, strong, always active, always sniffing laundry detergents, living in the apocalypse of bills, baking cookies.
Be good, angelic and silent. 
To be a mummy and not a Sphinx. 
Because I am a woman.
And in the winter, light candles, set memories on fire, dust brains in jars, 
and remain a woman, 
in her place, silent, silent, 
invisible.

SUMMER ENERGY

This is the season of heat. Of sun. And light.

I didn't celebrate Litha in the classic sense of the word. I love being outdoors on Saturdays like this, but it was really too hot last week to plan anything. For the evening or for the weekend. And the new moon on Saturday then left us with the dark and sultry night.


On the other hand, however, I realized the small goals I have achieved.
On the morning of the solstice, I woke up early, as usual, and stretched out looking out the window. I knew it was a special day and for some years now I have realized that I always start Litha's day this way, looking at the sun and saying a silent good morning in my heart.
It was very hot that day, but despite this I went out on foot at noon to get something to nibble on, looking for the nearest shade. The sun was definitely stronger than I could bear. Stronger, I realized. Of course it was stronger since it was the summer solstice. The time of the first harvest.
In the evening, with milder temperatures, when I sat in front of my altar to light the candle that I light on every Saturday (this time it was yellow, lemon-flavored) I found there the papers of my reading of the last esbat.
I had left them on the altar as a good resolution for what I had to work on.
And it made me smile as the Animal Spirit Horse, upside down, looked at me from the table. Over the last month it has somehow "straightened out".
I had associated it with a block towards my goals, something that prevented me from continuing to "run", an obstacle of some kind, coming from my unconscious that did not allow me to continue on my way.
After all it was true. I was getting lost in a glass of water. And I needed another person to get me out of it, giving me an external point of view.
Straightening my horse beautifully.

I smiled, thanking my instinct, which never fails to interpret even what I am not aware of and realized that even if half a year is gone, I have the other half to work with. I immediately thought back to my projects and works scheduled for this fall and I was charged with enthusiasm.
Perhaps the enthusiasm and motivation, not having lost them, are part of my harvest this year.
After all, what does it take to get lost in a glass of water?

What have you collected, more or less metaphorically, so far? And what do you plan to collect next?

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