Smoke comes out of the tea next to me. I follow its evolutions in the air, completely random and at the same causal, dictated only by the micro-movements of the atmosphere around the cup. Most of the things that happen to us behave exactly the same way: they seem to be dictated exclusively by chance while in reality they follow very specific rules, they are conditioned by events, choices and reasonings to which we do not pay attention, because most of the time we are not even aware that we are breathing, let alone what we do. Rational thinking is the greatest deception of the human being because it makes us believe that we are masters of ourselves but it is not so and in fact this same reasoning is not primarily the result of my thought, and it is not even rational but, on the contrary, dictated by emotions that lie beneath layers and layers of logical constructs aimed at making sense of the fact that I am writing yet another post sentimental here. Here you see, the last sentence is the world beyond the veil, the deceit discovered, the emotion that crushes and annihilates reasoning.

And so I was not aware of anything, or more precisely, I was aware of little, because I have always done a bit of self-analysis but as always I underestimated the control I have over myself, little, especially when it comes to feelings . And it makes me angry to know that the reason was never mine, that I missed something right once, that I didn't know anything about how it would go, rather that I said to myself that it would go wrong to fool myself into being in control while imagining something that wasn't going to happen. existed. I was aware that I was deluding myself and I was deluding myself all the same, because in fact, I lack control.

And even right now I'm missing it. This post did like smoke from my cup, deceptively random evolutions. Now the tea has cooled down, no more smoke, that's it.

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