THE GARDEN OF MYSELF

I’ve always looked at the sky. Every time I am in a place I have always lost myself looking at the blue of the sky, the white of the clouds. I’ve always had a strange connection with the sky I always feel part of him when I lose myself looking at him. I remain there enchanted. I get lost in thoughts To reflect on everything that goes through my head at that moment. I always leave a piece of my thoughts in those clouds A piece of me in that infinite blue. As if for a moment everything was still there in that sky. As if for a moment all thoughts are dispersed in those clouds. As if for a moment I forgot everything.

I slept great tonight. Small in a huge bed, duvet to cover me and two pillows around to protect me. Zero nightmares. I dreamed of my father. He came to wake me up around five. He put his hand on my shoulder and said “I brought you the croissant”. At that point, the information received woke up all those particles of me that dance wildly at the thought of food. Inside of me I jumped up, but in reality the movement was quite slow. I first took off the covers, stretched, yawned as with every awakening, put on the false crocks and went to the kitchen to eat the croissant with cream. But there was nothing and so, a little sad, I only drank some fruit juice like every morning, remembering the time at university when my father came to me and brought me sweets. After breakfast, I opened the bedroom window and saw the white cat, PIPPINEDDA, ​​in the garden eating some herbs. She had a sly, very sweet look. When she noticed me she went away. I cleaned the bedroom by making the bed, sweeping and mopping the floor; then the bathroom by thoroughly cleaning the accessories and all the products on the shelf, my father’s postit still on the mirror and in order not to remove it I cleaned the glass all around. I also tidied up the living room and kitchen by washing the floor and tidying up. While I was in the Cinderella version I listened to the usual songs and hummed perhaps a little too much. After cleaning I prepared the vegetarian meatloaf: minced meat, courgette bread, eggs, parmesan, parsley, salt and pepper, and lactose-free slices for the filling. After that I started writing, and LUIGINA, my black and white kitten, started to watch TV and I to the pc to update the blog. About half past I baked the meatloaf with potatoes. After lunch I did the dishwasher, because I can’t wash the dishes because my wrist hurts right away. There was peace in this house and it seemed to me that my father suddenly opened the door. But it was only this morning’s dream. I was happy to see him again.

THE BAD QUEEN

I experience fabulous adventures in distant realms, breathe the acrid, ancient smell of books in majestic castles from distant eras, walk a path made of clouds and fly aboard a mighty dragon with a brilliant black cloak and two eyes of fire. they bow as I pass, I am a royal figure shrouded in a halo of mystery, there is no place in the world that I cannot reach On my head I wear a too heavy golden crown embellished with the rarest gems, I sit on a lined throne of the finest red silk, I have immense armies of the strongest and most terrible warriors, infinite riches and whatever I want. All culture resides in my hands, I get lost in concepts of philosophy and I wander among pages of history. Then I open my eyes again. and I die.

If I lived in a Disney movie or in those storybooks I wouldn’t be on the side of the princess or the prince. I’d be with the evil queen. Because, let’s face it, without the villain the story does not exist, the protagonist is only someone who suffers evil, not the one who creates them. From an early age they always filled our heads with these stories of kind girls or boys who didn’t want to grow up anymore because being small was fantastic. They never answered the question “Why is the bad guy being bad?”. This was the question that haunted my entire childhood, and even now I try to find an answer. I don’t care how Cinderella eventually married the prince or how Snow White went to live in a castle away from the evil queen. What then have you noticed that the bad guys are always the ones left alone? I wonder why.

There was this thing, between her and life, an unsolved question. He kept her away from the things she loved most, as if she wanted to test her sincerity, her strength. But everyone told her she was a strong girl. No one could ever claim otherwise. He had faced trials that would drive anyone out of their minds. She hadn’t freaked out. She was a little dead inside, but it didn’t matter, because she was strong. So she didn’t need anyone, according to the others, and she almost believed it. Almost, because every now and then she let out a tear for someone, a “I need you”, but on time life put her back in line: she didn’t have to be alive, she had to be strong.

You don’t have to please anyone. Whatever you do will be deemed right or wrong by someone. Anything you say can be appreciated or considered pathetic. Whatever you do, it can be considered madness or the most suitable thing. You don’t need to show if anyone is thinking of you, if you are alone or if you are having fun. You don’t need to make someone think about something. Be is enough. For someone you will be the sea, for someone else the storm, for someone else still nothing. But you never stop! It is the biggest mistake you could make. That’s the secret, my little one: doing what makes you feel good, not others. If you have to turn something off, do it, leave it all on for yourself!