I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS LIFE

It’s true, I don’t understand this life anymore. When my grandmother held my hand along the tree-lined streets of the neighborhood, the whole world was an infinite amazement, a wonderful and endless game, every moment. Then, when my heart exploded in my chest, losing me in the bottomless black eyes of my first love, nothing else existed but her, and the world was just a multicolored stage along which to run holding hands to discover the first words in two. Still later, imperatives and commandments. Work, affirmation, money, family, duty. As if a huge, immense wall were to be built, on which to climb in order to continue again and again to climb, climb up, with time at your heels and with a blinded conscience. Without memories, without experience, without emotion. Now, now that my gaze knows how to embrace and no longer challenge, I no longer understand life. I know it is like a flowing river, and that I cannot stem it as long as I am in this form. I know that I still want to hold a love by the hand, or fly over the musical corpuscles of a melody, or be moved by the colors of a flower. But I also know that I cannot erase a pain, that I cannot save those who tremble, that I cannot change what is or what is not. And I no longer know if my doing is really a doing or I don’t know what to do. I do not know. So I sit down, I try to feel with my eyes where the light is and to turn my heart to it, because there is nothing else Then … when they close to me … who knows … in which direction I will orient myself. After all, understanding is not really necessary …

MERRY-GO-ROUND

I’m always running, like aboard a roller coaster, a merry-go-round that enjoys tossing me at will. From side to side, always under pressure, always anxious, always with something to do. If, on the other hand, I have nothing to do, thoughts assail me. Up and down, says the carousel: from the highest happiness to the strongest discouragement. And I tell you, carousel: be quiet and stop it.

All life is always creating new balances and for all life I mean the cell, perfect with tireless speed of internal and external flows that never stop but dance according to continuous adaptations. Let us be inspired by these truths, true balance is dynamic. The breath, the energy, the planets, the blood. The only thing that remains the same is death. Let’s not worry about leaving everything as it is, too much energy is spent not letting things change rather: being the fearless mills of our own wind.

Life is a funfair. Essentially, people fall into two broad categories: the brave and the cadard. There are the enthusiastic ones who can’t wait to try everything, and those who get carried away by their friends. Those who climb the highest carousel and those who look at them from below envying the courage they lack. There are those who always run and look for the fastest carousel; those who want to take it easy and enjoy the view, then get on the wheel and wait. There are those who when they return home are full of regrets, they would have liked to do more. But the best ones are those full of remorse, who come home sick from too many roller coasters, but don’t regret anything. It is up to you to decide how to deal with all of this and make the ticket price worth it.