COMING

For a few months now I have been feeling a little better, despite the spring.

I have been in my personal "dark timeline" which in my case is apparently all roses, flowers and perfumes, like in science fiction movies, where you land in the new world or on the new planet and everything seems perfect before you realize that in reality you are in the belly of a disgusting alien monster.

All perfect, but all rotten from the marrow, you realize it when you look to the side, while you are turning around, and you notice that the facade collapses, goes out, like a holographic image that disappearing reveals a dark, gloomy and rotting cave.

I'm back here.

It all sucks the same, but at least you can see it right away.
At least my inner monster always has the same gaze.
Winter is coming even though it is midsummer and sweat is the new rain.

STORY OF A LITTLE BLUE GIRL

Hey Blue what happened to you? I see you a little down. And I no longer see your beautiful hair that looked good with any color, where did your smiles and laughter go little Blue? What did all these people do to you to reduce you like this. Why are you crying? Indeed, the correct question is: why have you never stopped crying? Because you recognize yourself more when you suffer, instead of taking them and killing all those who trample you. Who don't know Blu what you felt, they don't know. They don't know what it's like to get up on your own. They don't know what it's like to be alone. You yes. And you are very good because with others you never collapse, you know how to console yourself and you know how to laugh alone. You are strong, and everyone tells you how strong you can be. They tell you this especially before they break you, but you never break. You just cry, and people often can't stand it, but you just want someone to stay there. Watch yourself and say nothing. But Blue is not easy. In this life no one has time for anyone anymore and you are tired of having a phone in your hand to be able to communicate with people. You want a real shoulder, you want someone to take your pain with their bare hands and throw it away. You are looking for love because you have never known it and you do not know what it really is like. All consequences of a tragic past that you don't even remember, if you knew maybe you wouldn't be like that. Maybe you would be like all 20-year-olds who go around the clubs to dance. But you don't dance, because whoever dances is happy, you just move your hip to provoke any man. You seek attention, you look for eyes that are always pointed towards you, but the eyes are not always the mirror of the heart. The bottle of vodka you are drinking no longer even has a taste for you, it doesn't taste like peach or mint or strawberry, it just tastes like a cage that for a few moments doesn't let out thoughts and doesn't make you feel sad. But I know the truth, I know you would tell your whole life if people asked you, but you never really do it. You don't do it for a good reason, people are too normal compared to you and you've been told too many times that you are weird, that you are wrong, that you are different. You are not and you would have tons

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