CORALINE

I was alone and the trees around made that noise that you hear when they drop everything they have on them and there was silence, but at the same time the sound of thuds, branches, leaves in motion even if everything seemed still, an orange butterfly yes stops on my arm and looks at me, whole minutes have passed in which the only thing that brought me back to the present was my own breath. I’m also trying to let parts of me die and fall off like dead leaves or rotten fruit, but I’m not a tree. Sometimes it all seems so difficult, opening up to the world, trying to explore it being afraid of what might be found in the dark. Sometimes it’s all so difficult, sometimes it’s hard even to love. Nobody teaches us to love, there are no rules or notions to follow, of course there are generic ways of behavior but no written law or particular teaching on love. It is not said that those who love in silence love less than those who shout it to the world. It is not certain that those who love in the light of day love more than those who love by hiding in darkness. It is not certain that those who clash by pulling repressed anger in the soul love less than those who love in silence, keeping the pain inside. Yet, despite this, we tend to classify love on a pyramid system made up of actions, behaviors that are placed above or below other actions of those who have shown better or worse. It is said that love is not beautiful if it is not a quarrel, but why is it said? Perhaps only to create a moment of normality in unnecessary quarrels or perhaps because if there is no conflict there is no intersection between thoughts and points of view that will then bind to each other, who knows when. In fact, the key to everything will be the clash, as happens in the universe. Two galaxies, in the course of their collision, can remain united in a single element by merging with each other, or they can move away from each other again, leaving reciprocal elements in them. This is the key to everything, the confrontation. Love is like the universe, it’s up to you to figure out how to act.

WE’RE LOST AND FOUND

We are the stolen photos and the hugs that become synonymous with the word home. We are on Saturday nights staggered for drinks with friends that make us less embarrassed and the other six evenings of the weeks spent in front of a movie or a good book while sipping hot chocolate or tea. We are the four seasons in one, the loose sweatshirts that smell of freedom. We are the newspaper clippings attached to a notebook and the hippy van with which to travel the world. We are the fleeting moments in which happiness, smiles and tears reside. We are the I love you and I love you whispered in your ear, I miss you said with my eyes, I would like you thought and never uttered. We are the thousand books that fill every corner of our house, the poems that make us dream and the slips of paper with the thousand phrases written by our handwriting. We are dreamers desperate for happiness. We are the life that deserves to be lived.
At my age, I still haven’t learned how to manage anxiety. In reality there are many things that I have not learned and that no one has explained to me. They teach us the equations, on the 5th of May by heart, the names of the seven kings of Rome, and no one clarifies us how to face fears, how to accept disappointments, where to find the courage to bear pain.
And so it happens that those people who entered your life for the last time become the first in time of need, the first to listen to you and to worry if you really eat it you were friends for life. It happens that they amaze you and make you feel special with the smallest precautions. On the contrary, those you know live at any moment seem like they don’t know you at all. Do not sow if they notice what is most evident, or they simply will not see.
And Coraline cries,
Coraline has anxiety,
Coraline wants the sea
But he is afraid of water
And maybe the sea is inside her.
And every word is an ax,
A cut on the back,
Like a raft that sails
In a raging river
And maybe the river is inside her.

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