JUST STANDING

More and more often I read that we are inside an illusion, created by aliens, created by the system, or created by us.
But if we really were the ones to create it (as some Buddhists also claim who speak of this maya in this way) why do we create such ugly illusions? If we had to be the authors of the Matrix we would have made it so bad for what reason?
Are we all connected to each other to the point where we all have a bad illusion where we get depressed and hate each other?
Why must we always think that human beings only know how to harm themselves? Why go into so much pain?
It is irrational and illogical.
If I investigate what people want I see that they want beautiful things, pleasure, joy, health… So why create such an ugly illusion full of violence and destruction? It seems to me a contradiction.
Going through levels of pain, living lives, reincarnating, spending all this time on what? To get out of an illusion created by us? So where is all our intelligence?
It's like I had to create a maze for my cat to make him suffer and then get him to the exit. But why make him take that awful path and make him feel bad?
I would never do that to others, much less to myself.
I think creating an illusion to destroy and then be reborn is illogical.
So did we really create this Matrix?

THINKING OR MAKING?

I met the Dalai Lama personally, in my not recent past. I was inside a church of I don't know what religion and the Dalai Lama himself started a very energizing meditation with his Ohm, then repeated by everyone present, and imagine so many ohms in a huge church, it was a wave of pure energy. Well, all of this hasn't changed my life. Then I learned that China had attacked Tibet and the monks had been defeated. The monks meditate every day, what did they do wrong since their meditation caused nothing but pain and their corner of peace was destroyed? Wasn't the inner scent strong enough? What went wrong? Did Christ and his disciples also meditate through prayers and parables and what was the result? Crucified Christ and persecuted disciples. The way of spiritual love is full of slain martyrs. Would it have been different if they had rebelled? My Tai Chi master once explained to me that martial aces are not used to do violence to others but if someone attacks you you have every right to defend yourself. Defense with the hands, with the stick, with the sword ... A weapon. Preserving life is a legitimate direction of our nature. Keep it at any cost. So if someone tells me that all the evil that is happening can be overcome with the thought I am sorry but I cannot share because I have touched the energy of thought with my hand and I am sorry to say it but it does not move the mountains. Instead the actions yes. In fact, for example in Christianity we say ok to prayers but these must be followed by actions. I personally have been among the "Food for Life" volunteers who bring food to the homeless. Why don't you eat with thought, unfortunately, and wars cannot be won with thought, unfortunately. We need to meditate but also to act. Act to make good win. Take action to stop this destruction. Meditating and saying mantra is fine but afterwards you must also act because actions change a situation. We are many to write, create, dance and spread light but we must also take action in Defense otherwise nothing will remain of this Light. 

I WAS AN ABUSED CHILD

I have been abused since I was only 4 years old and I still don’t know if it was someone from my family (uncle, cousin, grandfather, or friend of the family) and therefore my happiness was taken away from me so quickly that all theories and ideas of world are not enough to bring my soul back to life. I also went through years of therapy, but you will understand that undergoing such bad things as a child destroyed my inner world. I saved myself, thanks to my imagination and creativity. I have never had help from anyone and even if I always do good in return I always receive evil. I don’t believe in happiness. It is a harmful and illusory world. 

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