Are there subtle blackmails that keep you constantly on some sort of hanging thread? between guilt and terror of letting go.

Whoever exercises this power over you has the constant ability to bring you back in line, every time you disregard his expectations, every time you move on yourself. All this affects you, your daily life, your freedom. The fear of giving up those roles that are all you know, all you recognize, is biting. Getting out of these constant reproaches is necessary, giving up everything that triggers this mechanism is fundamental. The breath that breaks, the sense of guilt that digs inside, the fear of losing everything and losing you too, is central. "You do not give me what I expect, I ignore you, not recognizing you as I recognized you before, because you are no longer deserving that award". Letting go is difficult, giving up your role within that circle of trust is complicated, being afraid of not being able to "exist and recognize yourself" without the other is a focal point. Yet we can and absolutely must, to the point that it will no longer be what the other does but what you absolutely will no longer allow.

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