People change. Oh yes, it does change. We must not believe those who even after many years claim to have always remained the same. How many times has it happened to meet friends, schoolmates, neighbors from our childhood who, when they say "I almost didn't recognize you", always respond with that phrase there, that kind of fetish phrase was not even the formula of some intrinsic ritual of eternal youth, "I am always the same, that dear girl with whom you were doing your math homework in class".
They lie. Maybe not knowingly, but they lie. To grow is to change, experiences change us, disappointments change us, triumphs change, traumas change us, friendships change, moves change us, tears change us, jobs change us, travels change us, loves, especially the wrong ones.
And paradoxically it is precisely the positive aspects of our personality that say goodbye first; they are the first to abandon us, to give way to new habits and new “ourselves”, perhaps equally positive, perhaps better, perhaps not. The negative aspects are the most "stubborn". They are the deepest ones, the ones most attached to our soul, those who often identify us as a human being and differentiate us from the other.
Our dark side is the one that hardly goes away. But we are so used to hiding it in the bowels of ourselves, that we often forget we have it, we leave it there, dozing off, and in the meantime, aware or not, we look forward to the "new us" from time to time, the changes that life it continually places us in front of us and which we completely absorb, changing our ways of thinking, living, loving. And it's amazing how much we change when we look back.
All the wonderful meaning of life consists of this… change, evolution; it is as if the life of every single human represented in a small way the great evolutionary process of the species ...
Arcane structure of the cosmos
Immense evolutions of species
And I, with my vague impression
of the indeterminate,
of anxieties, thoughts,
of the perplexities made visions,
I collect my data
of the soul, the secrets,
of my hidden and unacknowledged dreams.
And I look for fixities made of stones.
I look for balance and poor food.
Oh light that the universe sets
dissolve my anxieties to certainties.
Free expression.
of this conscience of mine.
I would like to shout to the cosmos
with my broken voice
when I am sand in the desert
my mother's name
and stand by her.
I only ask this and I am happy.
There are people who hurt and do not realize they are hurting. People who do not have the perception of the emotional state of the other. These people have a very developed ego and do not know how to redefine it by reducing their destructive selfishness towards themselves and towards others. The first way to understand that you are dealing with an immense ego is to ask yourself: “How many things do I know about the other? Do I really know him? Do I always listen to it or am I always focused on my thoughts and desires? We live in a world full of selfishness and this is because most people only think about their own desires. When one looks at oriental disciplines one wonders why there are so many humiliating rituals such as serving food to others, staying on the sidelines and in silence for many hours, forgetting one’s private life to focus on mantras etc … But who has experienced these disciplines know well that all this is aimed at shrinking the ego and making people take care of others. We live in a society where people go to great lengths to scam and use others. In Western culture, a way of living behind others is being consolidated that is truly unworthy of human beings who consider themselves evolved. The law of the strongest? No, the law of the most idiot. Because at this rate society is destined for total destruction and not for a positive evolution. But many people are unaware of this. Just as they are not aware of the fact that if they do something bad to others, sooner or later something bad will happen to them too. Many people believe they are untouchable, infallible and very, very intelligent. They have not dealt with the energies that follow a different law and different rules. The Orientals know this well and for this reason they try to serve others and not to do good deeds. It is not a question of karma. It is not a question of magic. It is a question of survival. Always remember that whoever you hit one day could be your only salvation. So behave fairly with everyone. Do not do it for an ethical or religious question, but for a human and cunning reason too. If you are smart you will know that one day you may be in a not-so-good position and you never know who you might be in front of. Meditate. Meditate.Have you ever had the feeling that life has paid you back with the same coin that, one day, was in your hands? As if in the past it was you who threw it in the air, looking for the side that suited you most and fleeing, in a selfish way, from the consequences of that fate. A similar thing happens with karma: it always comes back. Sometimes it seems that only negative actions that have hurt someone come back and that, instead, when we do something good, all that comes back is emptiness. What actually happens is that negative events affect us more and that is why we remember them all our lives, whether we like it or not: whether you were the blade or whether you suffered the injury. It is precisely for this reason that, when we harm someone, we are not aware of the power of that pain until we find ourselves in the same situation as it: we think we can do and undo, but without fully understanding that the way in which we live the actions of the others varies from person to person. We often say: this is karma. He gave me back what I did and he does it with interest. It is not about “interests”, it is just that now we are aware of what we have done and we will remember the lessons learned forever.The concept of karma helps us build our tomorrow and build within it, because, as we have already explained, todays can be part of the circumstances we face in the future. This means that, most of the time, we reap what we sow, more or less right. For this reason, we give a specific meaning to what happens to us and connect the facts with each other, because everything seems to be united by threads that manifest themselves in the form of emotions. Positive energies bring with them other good energies and vice versa: a destiny that is not always fulfilled, but which always remains there to remind us that in our emotions there are also those of the people who love us.
It’s just a question of survival. Just this. There is nothing else. All with the same purpose. Nothing is really what it seems. Looking for someone. Find someone. And then endure, suffer and suffer for work, for food, for children, for something wrong, because there is always something wrong. Why don’t you eat with love. What life would this be? We might as well tear ourselves apart like wolves instead of gradually wounding ourselves in the same place. If there is no food, the aggression of human beings comes out. If no resources are found, we all become ferocious wolves. We are animals and not evolved beings. We are still guided by our biology. We have hormones that make us do things we later regret. But we can’t cancel these hormones. Animals adapt better than humans. They don’t have to match clothes or wear makeup. They just need to show mane or feathers. They don’t have to get hold of various trappings to show their role. Human beings waste a lot of energy to earn money and show themselves in a certain way. And the whole is built. I mean that animals show what they have naturally had. Human beings, on the other hand, show what they got with money. The adaptation is therefore more complicated because it requires the use of more resources. Human beings rely on beauty but women choose money. If we put Briatore and any handsome young man with him would you choose? Briatore. Many guys recently call themselves Incel and have focused on their ugliness as a yardstick for their failure with women. But they did not understand that women look at money and not at the face. If a man shows up in a fancy suit or expensive car and designer clothes and a lot of money rest assured that most of the girls will say okay. The girls of this generation obviously, because that of the previous generation were satisfied with a man with a steady job. Now, however, the girls want the absolute rich.
My blog was born as an artistic space but nobody cares about art. I also had a blog with all my works but it didn’t matter to anyone. I also said that I would burn my paintings but no feminist or association said a word. I have no friend or I would have given them all as a gift, as I did some time ago. I never wanted to make money with my art. For me it was just a way to vent my pain. And also my paintings and all the things I did. Now I’m tired of creating useless things. Nobody cares about my life. I could be dead and no one would notice. People got bored with me. My German Shepherd puppy gives me more satisfaction than a lot of fake people. There was a user who wrote to me that “HUMAN GENDER IS GOING TOWARDS A POSITIVE EVOLUTION” So then he called me a pessimist. So apparently it is only I who now see the human disaster where it has come. Maybe everyone else is blind. So I take a step back and leave all this scum to their positive evolution and I step aside and think about my own business. It is not a defeat but every now and then you have to take a break. What I was doing was important to you, to me and to some haggard whore. For the rest, everyone was there to comment with monosyllables and smilies at the end. No dialogue. See, this is my trouble. I am sociable, still too sociable, and I expect to have a dialogue with people. But some believe me to be superb, pretentious, dominant. And all this because I had different life experiences from theirs. Then some when they know that I am not looking for money they almost consider it an affront. As if having money you can live well. On the other hand, they do not understand that inner well-being cannot be bought with money. I can have it all but I still don’t heal. My heart no longer exists. I live only for my son and my husband. Only for them. For me to exist or not to exist is the same. I don’t differentiate between life and death, they are just two different types of energy but the source is the same. I have lived with such strong emotions and even ecstasy you know, mystical ecstasy, seriously. And then? I have never used drugs, I have never taken anything, not even opiate drugs or psychiatric drugs. For my anxiety I use a simple tranquilizer, which I only lose if I have severe anxiety attacks. I have a very normal life: husband, son, dogs, cats, garden, swimming pool, vegetable garden, cellar, … I don’t drink and I don’t smoke. Never caught anything strange or poisonous. I have had friends who are alkist and sadistic artists as well as ordinary artists. My inspiration came only from my pain. My fantasy originated only from my pain. The pain of abuse lasts for a lifetime. I used my pain to do good to others. I am at peace with myself. I wanted to help other people but I couldn’t. If people want to listen to Chiara Ferragni’s advice, let them listen to her. People have the right to choose. I don’t want to save anyone anymore. What happens will happen. I had to stop in every sense. The pain resurfaced. There are bad dreams, bad things about my unconscious memories that come back to the surface. But I’ll be fine, I’ll continue to paint trying to keep the shadow of my executioner away. But I don’t want to talk to people anymore. They don’t deserve my words.
THE PRODIGY OF IDEAS 