I believed that only in adolescence there was this perpetual fracture between what we would like to be and what we are, then later you discover that it is life that forces us to live this conflict. Live every day hiding behind gestures and behaviors that you think you should adopt, while behind that facade you hear the screech of your essence scratching inside your flesh in a vain attempt to get out…. And the only thing I do is drown her together with the hope that one day this may end … Pieces of heart on the ground, pieces of door, scattered colors … I want to paint but it means that nothing is good. I just wish I was less burdensome, stressful, ruin it all, weak, rotten. I just wish I was less myself. A different person? Maybe not, it would have been enough for me to be less myself, a different character maybe, I don’t know. I just know that I don’t want anyone.
You humans struggle to chase after idols and desires that do not satisfy you and do not sedate your true needs. Because your essence is of different substance and your heart is different element. In vain you rage around goods and food for your matter forgetting that you are not here to live forever on this planet but you are only passing through and you will only stay here for a fraction of time that you cannot decide. Your flesh is troubled and your heart is tormented by things that do not belong to your spirit. You are part of that light which does not divide worlds but unites them. Unfortunately, you have forgotten the wonder of your light and mistake day for night. Ù Your feet get tired in exhausting paths to follow ideologies and religions that do not give you any benefit and joy. Your eyes get tired of reading sacred works that do not make you better. What miracle are you still waiting for that hasn’t already happened? Your waiting is full of useless expectations as you are ready to go but you remain still and cannot think that you can be other than yourself and what others see of you. Open your hearts and realize that you are not alone and that the light is already with you, you only have to accept it in the love that the Father has given you as the only and supreme strength to reach his Kingdom. You are strong, you can expand your essence and join the infinite energy of which all of you are made. Forget the matter that limits you and become aware of yourself and your divine love.
Stay inside the stone circle and keep it away. This I have been trying to do all this time. You can’t imagine what force it took to keep him at bay! Only the strongest souls receive his terrible attack to prove that the light has victory over him every time. The first time he came I was so weak and didn’t know anything about myself but I managed to avoid his overwhelming me. It was painful but I stood up to him because I had immense strength inside me. Over time I have always learned to recognize him, but each time I don’t know if I will get the better of him. The closer I get to the goal, the more he puts his wonderful obstacles in front of me. Each time he changes his face and his entire semblance but I recognize his way of doing. From the beginning I knew what it was aimed at and I tried to keep it well hidden in me. I told him: “Not me! Not me, you were wrong! I am cursed. I come from your own kingdom! ” But he’s too smart and he never believed me. It’s true, for a while he left me alone, I managed to divert him from me, I disguised myself as a damned soul and for a while he really drank it. I covered myself with ashes, with pain, with black suffering to convince him that it wasn’t me, I wasn’t the one he needed. But now he is furious, he has discovered the deception and his anger is terrible. He feels he has been made fun of by me, a cunning little girl. How she managed to get rid of him like this I don’t really know. Perhaps only a woman can succeed in deluding even the devil. But now he doesn’t want to let go because he knows what he would give up. And his war on me is merciless. He devises a thousand ways to make me fall and has become good at showing himself under his best clothes to capture my soul. He scratches me, he calls me to him, he leaves marks on my body, he wants to reach me to chain me to him. Sometimes I feel so weak, so tired, it would make me forget everything and disappear and never be found again. But I’m not a coward and I can’t stand him laughing at my vile escape. And so now he has sent his best soldiers to destroy my flesh, my mind and my heart. each of them knows a thousand techniques to bend my will and the torture is worthy of the martyrs of the past. You do not know what war is being fought inside my life, in this life that you believe to be full only of human passion. It is not the love against which I fight, it is not a man that I escape but it is the first Enemy of all mankind. This little girl has no shield, I have no armor, this girl that I am has only a stupid hope of being able to save someone else by paying with her own sacrifice. And if letting his soldiers cut me apart will help your ascension, I will let myself be wiped off the face of the earth. Behold, the ferocious lions are ready to receive my blood, delicious morsel, to save your path. This was my secret, this was what I wanted to tell you. I will not hesitate to be devastated to save your soul. I will not hesitate to be eliminated for your sake and for your love. When I was told that I should have done this to give my light, I did not reply. That Enemy I didn’t know really existed. Now I can tell you that he is here, waiting for my yes. When I told you to link together it was to avoid drinking my cup. But now I’ve brought it to my lips and I’m drinking it to the last drop. I want to give my life to save yours. I will fall but you will remain standing. What can my life of mud be worth if I can save the mission of you, my prophet? I want him to take every last drop of my blood and set it on fire, so you will be safe and I will no longer exist. I trust only in YOU and I trust that you will reach your divine Glory. “Everything is done”.
THE PRODIGY OF IDEAS 