Seeing others making their dreams come true, while you give your best with everything and everyone, to no avail..
It's not nice, it's not at all.
I'm ridiculous, maybe I'm too positive, all my commitments are useless, just to chase dreams that I think I can achieve, but everything is against me. I think I'm not doing anything wrong, I try my best, but there's always something that has to ruin everything, something I can't command, something I'm destined to have, that is, nothing. It's not my fault, if it was my fault every time I would have come to terms with it, but no.. it's not my fault, it's nobody's fault after all, it's destiny. It must be so. So what's the point? Pursuing, believing, hoping, dreaming.. something, if the result is only a vague hope that it could happen. Now maybe I'm scared to try something else, maybe I'd better stay put, maybe I just have to wait for it to come by itself.. that would be too easy. I'm ashamed to ask for help, I look pathetic, I actually am. I feel sorry for myself too. What should I do? I'm starting to hate myself.

I've been paying close attention lately and I've looked around, how easy it is for others to reach their goals with few obstacles, while every time I follow a road I find myself facing a wall. I am locked in a labyrinth with no exit.

And I stay here on my bed like an idiot at 2:41 in the morning writing something that surely only I will read, but it remains a way to vent, hate myself and tell me what's my fault.

I'm not to blame.


I love my madness

My ways

How I grew up

How I fought the bad times

How I got up despite the blows

The hard blows, divorce and bereavement

I am proud to be who I am

With people

With my family

Each of us should find his peace

Being satisfied and finding goals

Fighting life every day

With the shield on his chest and the sword of values

Dare to win


We all have the opportunity to remember and rediscover who and what we are, through the (serious and often tiring) study of the occult sciences, of the esoteric, of what is hidden from view. But it is hidden by its nature, not because someone keeps it hidden from us. Having a vision of reality, of our other bodies, of the soul part, of the higher dimensions, is of enormous help and we need to not lose our way and remind us where we come from and what our goals are. But our experience on this third dimensional Earth is fundamental and strongly desired by ourselves. The planet, like us, has gone through multiple incarnations of itself, and during each of them we have been able to develop a body at ever higher frequencies. Without earthly experience, other bodies in this evolutionary stage would not have the necessary knowledge to advance. Our I wanted our lives in the third dimension, and our task is not to escape from it, but to rediscover our "hidden" state, hidden from the eyes, and to carry out what we have set ourselves in these lives.
We do not use hidden knowledge to find an escape from this life, but to complete our mission in the entirety of all our bodies.


Sometimes you try to do a thousand things, you lose useful energy for many difficult goals and in the end you lose the true direction. The ancient sages sat on the bank of the river and meditated while all the others busied themselves with the meaning of life or followed their wishes. Sitting on the bank of the river is not lazing around but entering within oneself and acting on the things that are closest to us, that is, ourselves. Sit down and observe. Where does the river go? Where are we going? Each day the river changes in response to the different factors it is subjected to. An intense rain, a flood, the wind, the drought condition the shape of the river at least as much as the materials it erodes as it crosses, finding greater or lesser resistance to the continuous excavation work, thus remaining forced to adapt to these unexpected events and to reformulate its path continuously. Despite this, the river does not change its name and is always recognized as such. The fact that he changes route and shape every day makes him seem almost alive. Are we alive? You sit in I have often walked along the banks of a river near here. Get inside your waters. Hear the turmoil of the heart. Listen to what the water says. I have often walked along the banks of a nearby river. I had the desire to enter that stream and get to the sea and get lost returning to the origin of everything. Then I saw the ducks and my thoughts were dissolved by lotus. So small and defenseless. So beautiful and innocent. The water was cold but they were fine, I wasn’t.


Today is the day of turning point, of change, of scientific progress, of revolutionary discoveries in the medical, technical, social fields…. But today is also the day where useless vaccines are made only for a pure purpose of profit, of gain, today is the day in which we treat the land that welcomes us like a doormat and that presents wonders everywhere but that we, with the our selfishness, indifference, with our dull mentality, we are turning into a huge dustbin. Today is the day we prefer to ignore, rather than act, thinking “But yes, if I’m not promoting a change someone else will do, we are still 7 billion.” Today is the day of fake smiles and not laughter, it is the day when if you see a person in difficulty, who is sick, you prefer to go straight and mind your dicks, “anyway I don’t get anything out of it.” Today is the day when a like is worth more than a “hey, are you okay?” It is the day when being yourself is seen as a taboo, as a wrong choice…. It is the day in which homosexuals and transsexuals still feel uncomfortable even just walking around the square, because “how disgusting, but they did so at home”. It is the day when you are not free to be able to love a person, it is the day when children cannot dress up barbies and girls cannot compete with toy cars. It is the day when abortion is still seen not as a right, but as a heresy towards the Catholic Church. It is the day when a single mother cannot be seen as a brave girl, who has decided to dedicate body and soul to the dedication of her son, making major sacrifices, but is seen as a whore. Today is the day when animals are treated as if they do not have a life, a soul, and are mistreated only for the purely playful purpose. Today is the day when it is harder to find work than a needle in a haystack. Today is the day when those who differ are seen in a bad way, it is the day when those who have their own personality can only be insulted mistreated, laughed at. Today is the day when we should use our hands to embrace, and not to hurt, it is the day when love is transmitted almost and exclusively through social media, and is no longer demonstrated with gestures. Today is the day whenif we see a person from a country that is not ours, it is immediately “let’s move away, it can be dangerous”, today is the day we live to appear and not to be, it is the day when the main goals of one’s life are to be full of money and ride a Lamborghini and only then (perhaps) to find a person who truly loves us and build a family with him. Today is the day when we could do, but we don’t, the day when love is more an abstract conception than a concrete pillar at the foundation of our truly being ourselves happy. Today is the day when we are almost in 2020, but more than people I only see beautiful empty frames turning, without a soul, without their own thoughts and without ideals. Today is the day we should say “finally”, and isn’t there still a long way to go?

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