THE HOLY GRAIL

Sometimes we think we are alone on our journey but I believe that each of us could support, support, lead others, to whom to give love, to whom to give help, and to collaborate with for a better world. If you believe in this God I think it would be nice for each of us to do good to others. The journey is important and what we do along the way is very important.
I started hating God when I started having nightmares about my abuser. Why had this God allowed that violence towards me, towards a little girl? What kind of sick entity was this dear God to be? Did he enjoy tormenting his creatures with pain, disease and grief and watching them suffer? At one point I wondered if it was possible that he did not exist, and therefore he was not responsible and could not help me. Between us, that’s what I still think today. In any case, even if there is no God, there is still something. If you look long enough in the dark, you feel it. There is a whole world beyond our reason. It must be so. Otherwise what would become of our thoughts, of what we call soul? I am convinced that there is always something left of us, even when physically we are long gone.
God is not a religion. I don’t follow a religion. I don’t follow a church. I don’t follow pastors. I try every day, and sometimes I can, sometimes not, to follow Jesus Christ. With the grace that the Holy Spirit truly has to learn me, to explain things to me, to calm me down, to make me think, to love me. I also learned to apologize thanks to Him, because I want to be a witness of His Love. Because if I don’t have his Love, I go back to the starting point where I was missing something that I didn’t know what it was and that I was trying to fill with anything or person. And I’m not saying this to say or because someone convinced me. In fact, I always thought that it was love that made our life complete, I just didn’t know what it was and how to find it. Love for myself – if had, not perceived. Parental love – not perceived as I would have liked; the love of my friends – not perceived as I would have liked; my boyfriend’s love – not perceived as I would have liked. And this is a particular fact, the fact that those who love us may not make us feel loved as we would like. And this happens because as much as we can tell him what we have been through, only God has lived it with you. Only God has experienced that pain, that suffering, that disappointment, or that joy, that satisfaction with you. Because it is one thing to tell about violence, it is another thing to experience the psychological effect it has on your mind. God not only listened to my every single thought but above all he felt what I was feeling. So He knows how to take me, how to talk to me or why I’m acting that way. But a religion does not know you, a religion does not free you, a religion does not speak to you, but God does. God helps you cope with past traumas, teaches you to free yourself from harmful thoughts, God supports you in your trials. Just ask him. Just allow him to live in your heart, in the most intimate place there is, that is the secret place where the encounter with God takes place. If you continue to go to church but have not opened your heart to Jesus, you have a religion. . But if you open your heart to Jesus wherever you go you will have a relationship with Him.
The beauty of God’s Love, which sometimes we do not understand, is that it tells us “Give me your burdens, your thoughts, your anxieties, your fears, your burdens. And I will give you rest. That peace that the the world can’t give you because it doesn’t know. “That’s why I don’t regret a day since I chose to trust God. Because he never made me feel guilty for who I am, he never judged me, he doesn’t poke me when I want to do my own thing. He doesn’t remember things in the past. He’s waiting for me. And that was what I wanted all my life. Someone who didn’t run away but showed that he loved me for who I am, not for who he wanted me to be. And God loves you the same way, and you will tell me “I don’t feel this love, on the contrary, my life seems to be anything but the fruit of His Love.” Then ask him. He is just waiting for this. And this message is no coincidence because I was exactly like you, I would not have asked for help from anyone, let alone God. I was tired, disappointed, without strength, unable to understand me and make myself understood . But the day I asked Jesus to heal my heart, to give me his peace, I found in him and still do find a safe refuge. The happiness I was looking for I found in the certainty that whatever the situation may be. where I am, and I write it because I live it, He is the answer, to my doubt, to my anger, to my pain, He is the answer.
Today the Lord tells you: “Come back to me! I know that there have been things that have distanced you from Me. I know that there have been circumstances that you have not understood and questions that you have asked yourself that have remained unanswered. I know that pain has distanced you from Me but do not be afraid because I have never moved away from you. I have never stopped loving you and sending you My bonds of love. I was there to hug you when you were in the room crying, when you wanted to hurt yourself, when others hurt you and I suffered with you because I wanted to help you more than you allowed me to. Return to me! I want to go back to being your refuge, I want to go back to dry your tears and surround you with My Love!
“Jesus did not come, and did not die, to create a religion or denomination. He came to make a revolution, to bring the Kingdom of God to earth, a kingdom of Love. He did not conform to this world, he did not rule out who the world had labeled as “wrong”. He chose drunkards, wrathfuls, murderers, prostitutes, fishermen, illiterates, women and men who were not educated, but whom God used to impact the world. He could have chosen who was already prepared in the Word, but the Law without love and revelation makes you dangerous. He chose who was available. Jesus came to break patterns and mental strengths. So don’t look for a religion, look for Him who died for you. He died and rose to allow us to return to have an intimate relationship with the Father. He was the one and last necessary sacrifice that he paid for our every sin, past, present and future. Every nail, every whip, every spit that He has received, He did it for you, so that you could be free today from all humiliation, suffering and pain. The blood of Christ has given us back our power and freedom. He broke that curtain that prevented us from having an intimate relationship with the Father, not looking for other means or shortcuts. Don’t settle for what they tell you or what they have told you. Seek Him, the Way, the Life and the Truth! “
Get away from everything that takes you away from yourself, away from everything that makes you sick, from what clouds your life, from what becomes dark, from everything that causes you stress and anxiety. Get away from everything that has no solution, from what hinders your well-being. Get away from the pain emotionally. Learn to manage your fears, learn to control your demons. Be aware that suffering is optional, that you decide who and what can hurt you. Keep close to everything that comforts you, that doesn’t kill you, that doesn’t force you to accept, and to give up in everyday life. Keep close to those who can listen to you, who can make you smile. Allow yourself to choose a new lifestyle and take care of yourself, do not lose yourself. If you don’t eliminate what hurts you, what is good for you will never come.
I don’t believe in the Vatican, in the official Church, in priests, in the Pope. I believe in universal love, love made up of good deeds and not words. The positive energy that is in us and that we use to do good together.

JUST LAST YEAR

A year ago I met a boy, it was summer and instead of getting lost in the sea I was lost in the ocean of his eyes. I think I left the best part of me in those eyes. I met a boy, in a strange way, almost like life was having fun putting happiness in front of me and in an aimless race never to give it to me. He was different, I immediately realized, perhaps because I was basically the same as him. It was different, he still saw stars where others only described bright spots. He still believed in great love, that of old-time novels, while the others were content with false ties. He still hoped, believed and loved beyond explanation. And among the things he loved, I too ended up. I loved his kisses, how he held me close and how he was able to protect me with a single hug from the shit of the world. I loved the way he looked at me or the way our hands fit together perfectly. But more than anything else I loved how he thought, his speeches, his words, his every idea gave me life again and I didn’t want life anymore. They danced in the street, we were enchanted in front of a sunset, we sang in every square, we made love with our eyes, with our souls and only finally with our bodies. There was no corner of that small seaside town that we did not make ours. That city had its scent, and at the mere idea of ​​returning there I know that I would cry until it flooded it like Venice after a storm. I envy those who were lucky enough to always have it with them, but I believe that no one will ever understand it. He was different and even I sometimes didn’t know how to translate his gestures. His heart belonged to distant times. His soul was tied to some distant star. That boy shone with his own light. Our love was never understood, but when did it ever happen that madness was understood? Our love was madness. It was passion that burned with the same intensity with which a thousand Suns burn. It was desire that flared up and wore out every particle of our body, that desire that was every man’s fault. It was friendship that Plato described as the most honorable of human bonds, able to make us understand our deepest souls and dreams with a single glance. Our love was never known to mankind. And God I loved that boy so much I forgot even what hate was. And I never wanted to be taken away. A year ago I met a boy, but that boy never had the opportunity to know happiness.

I’M A NAIVE

I am still naive. I discovered reality at 22. They tell me that I am too spontaneous, I have no malice, I am like a child. Many people have exploited, used and abused me. Sometimes I don’t recognize evil, I trust others a lot, I’m a white dove but the others are all snakes. I always pray to God to give me a good heart, only this I need but my good heart causes me a lot of damage because people take advantage of me. There is no girl as naive as me. I tried to change but I couldn’t. I try to help others and in the past I have thought more about others than myself. Art has carried me with it for many years and when I entered the real world I did not know the rules and so I was bewitched by certain people who did not deserve anything of me. I have been wrong so many times and I did not know why, I did not know I was different, because I had been far from the world and I had lived only among the colors. It was very difficult to get close to the real world because I was a poor naive.

PREY GOD BUT DON’T GO TO PREACHERS

SOMETIMES YOU FEEL DESPERATE

YOU FEEL HOPELESS

YOU FEEL SAD.

SO PREY GOD BUT DON’T GO TO PREACHERS OR PRIESTS.

 

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