CONFIDENT GIRL

Did you realize that what you do is never enough? That nothing is ever enough? Have you noticed that even when you give everything to someone it always seems too little? That it is not enough to be kind, it is not enough to really believe in it, it is not enough to love without any restraint. It takes a plan, it takes a bit of organization even with people. It takes a tactic, a bit of logic and let alone if I can do it, under these conditions. It is obvious that I come out in a bad way from every day, as if in the evening I was removed from a washing machine that lasted about ten hours, with the spinning set at maximum power, and then they laid me in the cold, all wrinkled. It is simply that I have always thought “if I smile sooner or later they will smile at me”, “if I love sooner or later they will love me”, “if I do something with my heart sooner or later they will notice it”. And yet it is not said, and this is the most atrocious truth in front of which I have found myself bending. Love does not always generate love. Sometimes it generates anger, turmoil, and even hatred. My one hundred percent is worth less than zero to someone and there is very little to do. I would like to give up, sometimes, lately almost always, then I care about the world. I care about the music, I care about the poetry, I care about the sound of the rain. I was fooled by that child who told me the other day “of course I believe in Santa Claus, why shouldn’t I?”. And indeed, why shouldn’t you? Desires fool me, that two or three still resist; the kisses steal me, the memories of the days when I dragged myself unhurriedly from the beach to the sea, convinced that I had all the time in the world. I am fooled by the people who sometimes notice me, under my stage costume, and tell me “I see you strange”. They fool me because they see me, and it already seems a lot to me
I’ve always been a confident girl in the people around her. From an early age, every time, I noticed the good side of people. I was naive, yes, but a child always has that fragility and naivety that characterizes her. It is always based on the kind and caring part of people. Now that little girl has grown over the years, but slowly she had to change her mind about what she had seen in people. About what he had discovered about the world and the men who lived there. He had discovered so many fake smiles; many gentle but violent deeds; so many words of encouragement thrown to the wind just to be said; so many actions done with coldness without putting your heart into it. She was disappointed, shocked, saddened. Because the world she had imagined was not at all like the one her dark eyes saw around it. It was all more real, more violent, more serious. As if the eyes of that little girl from years ago had only seen the best part of everything. While now he saw only what little was left of it, after its impact with true reality. He had had to learn to adapt. To force her too to suppress the urge to scream at those who offended her just because she was different. Smile even at those who did not deserve. To be reduced to loving people only through words on a screen. Protect yourself with bitter words in an attempt not to get burned. But maybe he would have made it. Sooner or later, she would be able to bring out what was in the world. Maybe she really could have left a tiny mark that would have screamed at the world “Hey, she did this!” . Who knows, maybe that sign is already doing it. Who knows, maybe it’s just these words that remind you of the past a little bit that have left it to you.

I’M NOT VIRTUAL

Evenings spent in front of a pizza with the sand between your feet and the roar of the sea. You played an ocher guitar, I with my head between your legs, I watched you sing. We waited for the sunrise to go home, so that time would not pass, so that the summer would not end. You asked me to dance for you, I loved dancing, but with your eyes looking at me even more. You told me that some summers are never forgotten. That certain nights by the sea are for a few. Go home at 6 on tiptoe so as not to make noise, with my hair that smelled of the sea with my skin that smelled of you. Falling asleep and realizing it wasn’t just a dream. Some summers don’t forget you were right. But sorry if I can’t remember your name anymore. The virtual communities that have replaced the natural ones, create only the illusion of intimacy and a fiction of community. They are no substitutes for sitting together at a table, looking at each other, having a real conversation. Nor are these virtual communities capable of giving substance to personal identity, the primary reason for seeking them. If anything, they make it more difficult than it already is to agree with oneself. People walk here and there with earphones talking loudly alone, like schizophrenics, paranoid, oblivious to what is around them. Introspection is an activity that is disappearing. More and more people, when they find themselves facing moments of loneliness in their car, on the street or at the supermarket checkout, instead of collecting their thoughts, check if there are messages on the mobile phone to have some shred of evidence that shows them that someone is somewhere. part, maybe he wants them or needs them.
I would like to escape from here: I would like to go to another world or even, simply, in another place – maybe somewhere far away a place even beyond the sea. I would like to escape from here why all this world I don’t understand it at all: it seems unfair, distant it seems terrible, perfidious. Exhibitionist. I would like to go to another world, but I believe that even in another single era it might be enough for me because I’m not the first and I’m not the last to feel out of place to hate this era and the generation that lives it – my own generation. I wanted to live elsewhere: in other times in other spaces in other fashions, where a like on Instagram was not enough to woo you and they didn’t dedicate a song to you on Facebook but they invited you for a coffee or maybe two – even three – and they asked you to talk about yourself – because someone willing to listen to you it’s the best thing there is. I wanted the technology not to exist – indeed, that it existed yes, but in the right way within the limits. I wanted love to be shown in other ways not with photos on social media at all times or posts here and there full of cheesy phrases or senseless digs. I wanted a world just different from this world where they always kept in mind the right principles where rancor was always neglected, but above all technology, because technology has ruined many things and destroyed relationships, but most of all it made us more distant: because if we are happy, we write it on Facebook and if we are sad, we publish a sad sentence. I wanted a world that did not take us further and further, but that every moment draws us closer, where the technology was used only in extreme cases and not every day to say “I love you” to say “fuck you, it’s over”.
But you imagine a different world where we move our hands only to touch other hands to caress faces and not to touch infinite screens? Can you imagine it how many things would have been different how many of us would have been happy? Because eye to eye is something else entirely from profiles on profiles chat on chat “is typing” on “online”. A different world, that’s all I wanted everything I asked for. I wanted a world where love and feelings had nothing to do with exhibitionism: more complicated of course, less easy, but still more and more true. I wanted a world where there is no surrender for an unanswered view, where you had the courage to go under the house and throw stones at the glass of the window of his room to ask her to open up and speak to shout at her the truest “I love you” in the world. I wanted a world that I have always called “world of letters” where I could smell her perfume trapped between the lines of a letter arrived after a long time with the adrenaline of reading it with the anxiety “who knows if it comes”. I wanted to live in the world of letters to keep all the letters you would send me under the pillow to have good dreams, sleep with your perfume and wake up happy even when I reach out my arm from the largest part of the bed that I always leave you free – in case you come back – and I can’t find you.
How can we say that you and I are not now somehow linked by a chat, albeit virtual, nonetheless real? How do we say that just because I can’t reach out and touch yours we are not real acquaintances anyway? How can we deny having known each other, perhaps in the depths, only because we could not meet our eyes. Yet physical contact is so important, despite the fact that there are so many people around who never touch. What is this contact of minds, brains and hearts? How it works, How could it ever matter who I am physically, what my voice is like or what my smell is like, if we never meet? I was brought up and raised in a certain way. They taught me what respect is, the value of words and feelings. They gave me the ability to listen and explained that it is my right to speak. They taught me what a heart and a sincere feeling is. That not everything is real and that not everything can be played with. I have carried these values, these principles and these teachings with me always! Growing up, however, I learned that it is not always possible to respect all this. I realized that I didn’t have to lose what I was taught, but that along with it I had to learn to respond and defend myself. To ignore the stupidity. To leave hypocrisy and lies to his way. I have learned that silence is often more sacred and cutting than many words and that sometimes there are words that cannot and must not be kept silent. I don’t care about the saying “Always do good and even where you receive evil turn the other cheek”! Not me, I protect the other cheek with all of myself if you step on my feet, if you hurt me and I lack respect. I have no interest in saying who I am and how much I am worth, the only interest I have is to live with these priorities… I prefer to show it instead of saying it. Words are short-lived, the facts remain, you always remember them and leave something of you, for better or for worse. I understood that the words of “people” often hurt, they hurt me too. Then I also realized that from the words of truth to the words of those who are only interested in destroying you, there is an essential difference, and that some words not only must not touch you, but must not even be heard. I understood that I have to take with me who matters and who is worth, but to leave to his path those who should not be part of my life. And from the moment they are no longer a part, everything they say and do does not have and will never have the slightest value or even the slightest attention on my part.

LIVE WELL?

Some people think they live in disadvantage.
But they don't know how to live in the rest of the world.
You are tired, stressed, depressed. You think your life is the worst of all. You have to put up with cruel colleagues, disgusting table food, hypocritical friends, terrible parents. But does your life really suck? Have you ever seen how people live in certain places far away from you? Do they have everything you have? Are complaining? Are they crying? Do they get depressed?
It seems that now no one can do without something. It seems that the food is just that of plastic, tasteless and odorless.
Many people cannot do without technology, they are slaves to material objects and things.
They have become obsessively collectors of many things that don't have a practical function in real life.
How many people still live in a primordial way? How many people barely have a roof over their heads?
Many children don't even have a bed. They have no food and live in huts made of scraps.
How long would you resist? Would you be able to live without all your usual things?
Sometimes they show you those poor people on TV while you are eating or playing with your cell. Can you imagine not having all the things you have today? Can you imagine if they were taken from you how you would live? Would you be able to resist poverty?
Can you imagine your children rummaging through the garbage for food or clothing?
Can you imagine them without Play Station?
What do they know about the world?
nd what do you know about the world?
Is what you have really so little that you feel unhappy?

MISUNDERSTOOD

When I speak and say something, I am never understood. When I speak and say something I am not listened to because I do not speak on video. I write and speak. I don’t record videos. Those who make videos perhaps have a better chance of being heard and understood, even appreciated by everyone. The videos are more followed. I am never taken into consideration because I don’t start talking in front of a cam, I don’t show my tits, I don’t whisper, I don’t blink, I don’t talk about fashion and make-up. I feel very frustrated about this because in this society only videos matter. People want to see someone, fantasize, imagine. I don’t show videos. I speak. But I’m not understood.

THE STONE CIRCLE

Stay inside the stone circle and keep it away. This I have been trying to do all this time. You can’t imagine what force it took to keep him at bay! Only the strongest souls receive his terrible attack to prove that the light has victory over him every time. The first time he came I was so weak and didn’t know anything about myself but I managed to avoid his overwhelming me. It was painful but I stood up to him because I had immense strength inside me. Over time I have always learned to recognize him, but each time I don’t know if I will get the better of him. The closer I get to the goal, the more he puts his wonderful obstacles in front of me. Each time he changes his face and his entire semblance but I recognize his way of doing. From the beginning I knew what it was aimed at and I tried to keep it well hidden in me. I told him: “Not me! Not me, you were wrong! I am cursed. I come from your own kingdom! ” But he’s too smart and he never believed me. It’s true, for a while he left me alone, I managed to divert him from me, I disguised myself as a damned soul and for a while he really drank it. I covered myself with ashes, with pain, with black suffering to convince him that it wasn’t me, I wasn’t the one he needed. But now he is furious, he has discovered the deception and his anger is terrible. He feels he has been made fun of by me, a cunning little girl. How she managed to get rid of him like this I don’t really know. Perhaps only a woman can succeed in deluding even the devil. But now he doesn’t want to let go because he knows what he would give up. And his war on me is merciless. He devises a thousand ways to make me fall and has become good at showing himself under his best clothes to capture my soul. He scratches me, he calls me to him, he leaves marks on my body, he wants to reach me to chain me to him. Sometimes I feel so weak, so tired, it would make me forget everything and disappear and never be found again. But I’m not a coward and I can’t stand him laughing at my vile escape. And so now he has sent his best soldiers to destroy my flesh, my mind and my heart. each of them knows a thousand techniques to bend my will and the torture is worthy of the martyrs of the past. You do not know what war is being fought inside my life, in this life that you believe to be full only of human passion. It is not the love against which I fight, it is not a man that I escape but it is the first Enemy of all mankind. This little girl has no shield, I have no armor, this girl that I am has only a stupid hope of being able to save someone else by paying with her own sacrifice. And if letting his soldiers cut me apart will help your ascension, I will let myself be wiped off the face of the earth. Behold, the ferocious lions are ready to receive my blood, delicious morsel, to save your path. This was my secret, this was what I wanted to tell you. I will not hesitate to be devastated to save your soul. I will not hesitate to be eliminated for your sake and for your love. When I was told that I should have done this to give my light, I did not reply. That Enemy I didn’t know really existed. Now I can tell you that he is here, waiting for my yes. When I told you to link together it was to avoid drinking my cup. But now I’ve brought it to my lips and I’m drinking it to the last drop. I want to give my life to save yours. I will fall but you will remain standing. What can my life of mud be worth if I can save the mission of you, my prophet? I want him to take every last drop of my blood and set it on fire, so you will be safe and I will no longer exist. I trust only in YOU and I trust that you will reach your divine Glory. “Everything is done”.

YOU’RE A SLAVE OF INTERNET?

IMAGINE YOU WILL STAY ONE DAY WITHOUT INTERNET.

IMAGINE YOU WILL STAY ONE MONTH WITHOUT INTERNET.

IMAGINE YOU WILL STAY ONE YEAR WITHOUT INTERNET.

CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT? NO?

WELL SO YOU’RE A SLAVE OF INTERNET.

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