A LITTLE HUGH

I feel a little sad this evening because I realize that I am a little creature in the face of things we have always struggled with: time, death, love, destiny, life in general, injustices, evil, suffering etc. etc. I feel a little crying because I know that this life is as beautiful as it is sad and we have so little time that sometimes we waste it without realizing it. We could say that we really love that person who has been around us for a long time, we could help that someone because more unfortunate than us without being overwhelmed by arrogance and selfishness, we could decide for once to improve someone’s life because (yes never knows) that that person hasn’t been smiled in a long time. We could teach someone to walk on their own legs, even if they need a little nudge at first, we could just hug each other a little bit more without adding a word too much, because the power of a warm hug is often underestimated. We could do many things that we don’t do, but still remain in the memory of those who have us, each in their own small way, loved until the end. Each of us, as can.

GROWING UP

When you were five and still using a pencil, you couldn’t wait to be a nine-year-old to finally have a ballpoint pen. When you turned nine, you told yourself you wanted to be twelve, that if you could just pull the days towards your graduation day, you would. At twelve, you had a bad day, and you asked heaven to speed up time, and take you to fifteen right away. You were fifteen, bombarded with too many school jobs, yet you still managed to endure; nothing has changed, you wanted to become an adult. You turned eighteen. You thought that at that point you could conquer the world; you were on the road to being of age, it thrilled your soul, because you saw it as freedom from everything. Nineteen years old and you fell in love and realized that maybe a skinned knee hurt less after you fell off your bike. You have known loneliness, betrayal, anguish, pain and you have understood that you should not have been in a hurry to grow up.
One of the things that changed my relationship with love was my desire to open up, to be given the opportunity to have the freedom to choose, to inform myself, to feel the need to improve myself. Understanding that, like everyone, I have potential. In this way I was able to increase love and respect for my person, who by nature will continue to falter, but that’s okay and consequently towards everything around me. Once love reaches your soul, she will ask for more and more, again, the best thing will be to find valid sources from which to draw and this is where our openness, our availability and the knowledge of us come into play. themselves. Sometimes it is important to detach ourselves from conventions, stop relying solely on what is served on our plate and listen to us deeply, in search of what can give us the love we need.

SUDDENTLY

The fundamental problem of humanity for 2000 years has remained the same .. love each other. Only now it has become more urgent, much more urgent, and when we hear again today that we must love each other, we know we don’t have much time left now. We always love too little and too late. Let us hurry to love. Because at the sunset of life we ​​will be judged on love. Because there is no wasted love, and because there is no greater emotion than feeling when we are in love that our life totally depends on another person, that we are not enough for ourselves. And because all things, but also inanimate ones, such as mountains, seas, roads, but more, more, the sky, the wind, more, the stars, more, the cities, the rivers, the stones, buildings, all these things which in themselves are empty, indifferent. Suddenly when we look at them they are charged with human meaning and fascinate us, move us, why? .. Because they contain a presentiment of love, even inanimate things, because the planking of all creation is love and because love matches the meaning of all things. Happiness, yes, happiness, speaking of happiness, look for it, every day, continuously, indeed anyone who listens to me now is looking for happiness now, in this moment because it is there, you have it, we have it , because they gave it to all of us. They gave it to us as a gift when we were little, they gave it to us as a dowry, and it was such a beautiful gift that we hid it, like dogs with bones do when they hide it, and many of us do. they hid it so well they don’t know where they put it, but we have it. You have it, look in all the closets, the shelves, the compartments of your soul, throw everything away, the drawers and the bedside tables that you have inside and see that it comes out, there is happiness, try to turn around suddenly you might catch her by surprise but she is there, we must always think about happiness, and even if she sometimes forgets us, we must never forget her. Until the last day of our life, and we must not be afraid even of death, look that it is more risky to be born than to die eh .. we must not be afraid of dying, but never begin to really live, jump into existence now, here.

SINCERELY YOURS

I’ve always been honest. Here is my problem. I don’t pretend. If I can’t stand you I’ll tell you, if you don’t respect me I don’t respect you, if I don’t want you near I will push you away. I’m not pretending, print it on your head. I don’t pretend a love that doesn’t exist, I don’t pretend to smile if I don’t like seeing you, I don’t pretend to have esteem for you if you make me sick as a person, you could even be 100 years old, nothing would change. Because I behave as I want to behave, as I feel I have to behave and not as “the rules” impose. This is my problem: I’m different from you and you just can’t stand this. My sincerity scared you, scared you that I’m real. Who I am will always screw me up and I am aware of it, yet you have to know one thing: better a hundred years of solitude than a single day in your company. When I saw that you were not sincere, that your play was only to exploit me, to draw on my resources, then I could no longer tolerate what you did to me. You are no longer a fixed thought as before, but sometimes my attention falls on you, for various reasons, but in any case I categorically avoid getting close to you, I no longer miss you as I once did, I’m fine without you, I no longer hurt myself, I have learned to be enough for a while now, I have learned to turn around and not find you, I have gradually got used to your absence, until it has become almost irrelevant, almost no longer felt, only in some fragments of time, I happen to feel your absence on my skin, but even this time it is no longer the same, I think about you, I think about you, about what we could have been but then, my attention turns away from it and I think that those who want you keep you, that those who love you stay, those who repent come back, that if only you had wanted with the same intensity with which I wanted, we could have been so damn happy, but it didn’t happen, and it goes well. I feel lighter now without you, I feel myself, I feel I don’t have to deprive myself of my life, and it’s fabulous, but above all I feel that I am in harmony with myself, I have developed self-love. don’t come back, don’t, not yet, not again. do not destroy everything I have created. go away. get out of me and my life for good. I’m sorry I don’t care, but I learned from you.

STORY OF A PRINCESS AND A DRAGON

Once upon a time, in a far away country, there was a dragon. A dragon like many others at first glance but you will soon understand that something about him was different.
Like any self-respecting dragon, it spit flames and like other dragons, it was covered with scales to armor it and "armed" with claws to attack and defend itself. But he wasn't as fierce and aggressive as he seemed to see him. Unpredictable perhaps.
It had almost a human soul, along with an animal one.
One day, an evil witch, for lack of more talented dragons, had to rely on him to guard a beautiful princess kidnapped in a nearby kingdom. The witch imprisoned the beautiful princess and put the dragon to guard the tower prison so that no one could approach her.
The dragon swore to the evil witch that no knight or prince would ever take that princess away with him, at the cost of his own life. And it didn't seem true to the dragon that he had a beautiful princess to defend and take care of. "Just me, thought the dragon, as unpredictable and out of the ordinary as I am!" His mind immediately began to dream of the battles he would have fought against untamed knights.
The first morning, upon awakening, the princess turned to him sweetly: "Good morning dragon, will you be watching over me then?"The dragon, hearing those words and for the first time that enchanting sound of the voice, was silent. Almost petrified. He was unable to utter a single word. He felt for the first time something between his throat and stomach, a melancholy he had never felt up to that moment. She was beautiful! Her sweetness was something she didn't believe could have existed. There was nothing so beautiful.
Thus began a beautiful story between the dragon and the princess. Time passed and a harmony was created between them that at times seemed inexplicable, also due to the nature of their being.
Weeks and months went by. Dragon and princess became friends. No, much more than friends. They felt it themselves, but neither of them had the courage to confide it to the other. On the other hand, it was a fairy tale and dragon and princess cannot live together. They both didn't quite understand this feeling and where it might lead them.
The dragon waited anxiously for the morning, only to see the princess open her eyes and hear that sweet "Good morning dragon ..."
They joked, laughed, played and talked. Yes, they talked a lot and about everything. Of what their past had been and how they imagined their future. But while the princess dreamed of a life with a prince, because the fairy tale wanted that, the dragon dreamed of it with her. Poor dragon, he had fallen madly in love ...
"Certainly not, thought the dragon, otherwise why in her dreams, am I not there?" It certainly did not take a witch, who read in a crystal ball, to know that this princess could not be his. She was destined for a prince.
But he dreamed and his dreams kept him alive. He knew it was a matter of time and that one day, someone would come and try to take her away!
Unfortunately, this was the reality. Or rather, fairytales and society are this and the poor dragon knew it. He knew he was determined, ready for anything, but perhaps not so strong to stop the knight he would have to face sooner or later in a duel. He was afraid of losing her. Fear that that day would come. Let him come who would snatch it from him.He had mentioned this to the princess, because he did not want to see her suffer and did not want to lose her: “Look, not all knights turn out to be princes. Especially in the soul and heart. Many assume only their appearance. They wear masks and shining armor, they prove themselves good, they write letters with trite phrases, thoughts felt and copied from the minds of other knights. And are you sure that a prince will be able to make you really happy? "
The princess looked down, but she felt she wanted her knight, her prince. She was convinced that this would be her great love, despite the fact that the dragon gave her all the security and happiness she needed. But which she evidently believed was not enough.
And that day came. That knight arrived in front of the princess's tower, that knight he had feared so much. That knight ready to challenge him and take away the princess, who, looking out of the tower window, was finally happy. He noticed it. And he saw his eyes full of joy greet that knight!
Why, thought the dragon, why is he so happy to run away with a stranger? Why didn't her eyes look at me the same way? Why didn't he believe in my love? " A series of questions that he could not answer and now there was not even time to think. He had to fight and enforce the oath made to the witch! He realized that he was ready to die in order not to see her go away with someone else. Also because his heart would have died anyway.
For the first time, the dragon found himself in a fight. It really should be said that he fought like a dragon, with fire, claws and tail swings! But nothing to do, the knight's sword and shield made the difference and, in the end, the dragon had to succumb to his opponent. But it was not the wounds inflicted by the knight that hurt him so much, but seeing the princess running towards him, hugging and kissing the stranger.
Nothing was comparable to the pain he would never want to feel again. No physical suffering could have come close to that experienced at that moment.
But fairytales are like that. He was the dragon destined to perish and she, the princess destined for her brave knight. And he, poor dragon, was certainly no exception.
Now the days followed one another, sad, and the poor dragon was now defending a tower without a princess. There was no moment when he didn't think about her and how she was spending her time. He hoped he would come back. At least once in a while, to alleviate his absence, even if it was "just" a simple dragon. She would have liked to better explain all her love to him. Those words that he had never been able to say completely. Until the end. It would have been enough for him to hear even his "Good morning" in the morning. And to see those beautiful eyes open to be a happy dragon. But she wanted more. The company and love of a dragon would not have been enough for her.
He had lost all hope of seeing her when one day, from a distance, he saw her on the path that led to the tower. It was her!!! He couldn't hold back the joy. She had come back to him !! Little did he care that she was gone, he was too happy to think about it. He had already forgiven her even before he saw her! He took off and reached her making her climb gently on her back, laying down on the ground.She walked over to him, and hugged him tightly. Nothing could be like that embrace and nothing could be more powerful. He didn't understand what was happening to him, but he felt a strange liquid leaking from his eyes. He had heard of "tears", but he wasn't sure they were those, because they said they only came out of his eyes when he was sick. And he was happy instead! He was the happiest dragon in the world !! Of one thing he was sure, those tears would be able to put out even the mightiest flames of any dragon in the Shire.
She hugged him again. For many more times after that day.
The princess told the dragon what happened and how different that knight had been. The dragon held her tight and over time trained to become even stronger and to protect her from other knights who would come in front of the tower to take her away. The next day, he saw her still a little sad, he hugged her and said:
“I will never be a knight or a prince, but I swear that I will give you all of myself, and I swear that I will always be there for you and that you will always have a place in this tower to feel at home. Yes, of course, this tower will never be a palace or a castle and I will never be a prince, but what I will give you, no one else, will ever be able to give you. This is the only thing I can promise you my princess! "
She hugged him tightly and again that liquid substance came out of the dragon's eyes. And for a moment, he was pretty sure the princess had wet eyes too. The princess was different now, she seemed to worry about "her" dragon and with every winged reconnaissance turn, she would tell him: "Be careful, come back soon." And he was happy with those words. Happy that "his" princess cared about him.Their life flowed together, joking, laughing and talking about everything. The dragon knew that he was not in the princess's dreams and that perhaps there never would be. But he was happy anyway. Glad she was there with him.
It all lasted until another knight arrived.
And everything was repeated as the previous time. The fight, the pain of the dragon, she who goes away with him, he who was not what he seemed to be and ... She who returns to him again and hugs him.
And so it happened for other times. She slowly began to realize that no knight was as beautiful as her dragon and that no one would ever love her so much. He believed he was finally happy. But not completely. Until, he came ... Well, he was different from the other knights. He had a white horse, he was handsome, blond hair and blue eyes, just like his suit. Yes, it was him. It was prince charming. The one feared by all the dragons in the world.
The princess saw him from the window of her tower and was immediately struck, fascinated. He was not like the others, and this the dragon immediately warned him.
The dragon was afraid of losing her, just like the first time. He knew that if he was defeated, he certainly would never see her again. This was a prince, he was not like the other knights.And then, he turned that fear of hers into anger. He fought with all his strength and, the prince, never would have believed in his life to fight against a dragon so strong and fearsome. It almost seemed like she had something personal with him. The dragon pleaded with him: “Go away !! She is my princess! Don't take it away from me! Get out!! You won't love her half of what I love her and you won't give her half the attention I will! "
The prince could see the anger in the dragon's eyes, his fear of losing the princess. It was an incredible duel. Both arrived exhausted, but as in all respected fairy tales, even in this one, the prince was victorious and the dragon defeated. The beautiful princess went away with her prince, this time not before looking one last time at that dragon lying on the ground, exhausted from the fight. The dragon felt as though his heart had been ripped out. And this time, looking into her eyes again, he was sure he saw a tear streak down the princess's face as she looked at him for the last time. The dragon, with the last strength he had left, took and flew away, to hide his tears.
After several years, the dragon is no longer the witch's slave and watches over her princess, prince and their son from afar. He will always watch over them and especially her. About that woman who could not live and who, like in fairy tales, was destined for another life.Now I could conclude this story with the prince and princess who "... and lived happily ever after". No, because this is not a fairy tale like any other. And happiness is not enclosed in a "happily ever after". Happiness is something else.
And the princess noticed it too, every day that passed and every evening at sunset, when she left her castle for a moment. She looked at the horizon, while a tear streaked her beautiful face, always hoping to be able to see that dragon to which she had given her heart and with that dream of being kidnapped by her only love. The Dragon! She who is now sure that she has always loved him, but that all the fairy tales of this world have always prevented her from doing.

STORY OF THE UNDECISED HUSBAND

A man had a wife and a lover and did not know who to choose. He decided to go to a sage to find an answer to his problem. He asked him if he should be with his wife or with his mistress. The wise man looked at him and took two vases in his hands: one with a rose and the other with a cactus and asked him:
"What do you do if I tell you to choose one of these two vases?". The man looked at him and replied: "Obviously I choose the rose!". The sage smiled: “You have proved to be reckless and hasty. You don't deserve either pot: neither the one containing the rose nor the one with the cactus. Some men, driven by beauty and worldliness, choose the one that seems to sparkle the most. The rose is beautiful but will soon wither. On the other hand, the cactus, even if it is not very beautiful at first sight, remains the same, regardless of the climate: dark green with many thorns but when it blooms it gives you a beautiful flower. Your wife knows all your weaknesses, flaws and mistakes and loves you for who you are. your lover does not want you whole but only the beautiful part: your smiles, the victories, the joy, the caresses. Your wife loves your tears, your defeats: she is close to you for better or for worse. When the hard times come, your lover will go away and look for someone else. Your wife will stay next to you. Don't look now that everything seems to be fine. Things won't go that long. It's too late for you now. You despised the cactus for having the rose and you don't deserve either of them. But know that there will come a time when you understand your mistake but it will be too late.

COME INTO MY SIDE

I didn’t know why we met, or how it happened. Even now I don’t know. I only know that it was destined to be so, that the line of his life intertwined with mine; and that not even time nor the world could separate us. Neither then nor ever. What is it that makes a man and a woman know that, of all men and women in the world, they belong together? Nothing but chance and meeting? Nothing but being alive in this world at the same time? Is it just a curve of the throat, a stroke of the chin, the shape of the eyes, the way of speaking? Or is it something deeper and more mysterious, something beyond having met, something beyond chance and luck? Are there other people, in other ages, that we would have loved, who would have loved us? Or maybe there is one soul among all the others – among all those who have been alive, generation after generation, from one end of the world to the other – who must love us or die? Which, in turn, we must love – that we must seek all our life, everywhere and in spite of everything, until the end?
Do you know when you find yourself on the edge? When one day, for some stupidity, tears come to your eyes. When one word too many, an insignificant gesture hits you deeply. It does not mean that you are frail or weak, but that you have endured too much, too long. But you are art, boy. You are better than the David or the Mona Lisa, even the Last Judgment. You’d be better off than the whole Louvre on a spring day. And also of spring itself. What envy you make her: her flowers will never compete with your beauty, they will never understand your being so delicate. And it’s music in my thoughts when I see you, but hell, you’re even more than that. Other than Bach, Chopin and Mozart, your laughter is my favorite melody.

ALL IS DONE

Sometimes, you’re right, I’m afraid to bloom. I am afraid to bloom because I fear that once I have blossomed you will think that your mission is complete and you will abandon me to my splendor. And I don’t want to look gorgeous except in front of your eyes. I don’t want those hands to stop caressing me, those eyes stop looking at me, those lips stop kissing me. I want your attention that makes me feel the queen of all roses, it is a desire that makes my soul vibrate and shine. Please grandma, come back to me. I need your love. I’m lost. Please pray for me. Grandma, I need your love.

A PRAYER FOR MY AUNT, SHE DIED TONIGHT.

My aunt was a very religious young person. She prayed for everyone. She was a really good person. 
An always kind, hardworking, indefatigable woman. She always prayed and even did fasting to help the souls in Purgatory. 
She respected all holidays, was always close to God and never asked for any grace for herself but for others.
She always thought of others. Her name was Giovanna and she was a truly pure and good soul, consecrated and united only to God. 
She had no family, she chose only God. 
Please if you can say a prayer for her I thank you very much. My heart is crying. 
I hope that she is in the divine Light now and that she is happy.

BEING VICTIMS OF LOVE

They use other women to create competition and jealousy in their partner.

Exes can usually be placed by the narcissist in one of two categories:

fall in love with me
crazy.
The "crazy" exes are the ones who have seen through the psychopath's lies, have woken up and therefore refuse to take part in his perverse games again. These have not been left, but they have freed themselves, healed and definitively distanced themselves from the perverse. For this reason they are "crazy" in the eyes of the narcissist and are discredited in front of anyone.

The "in love with me" partners are those who believe they can still have some special role in the life of the psychopath / narcissist, they are still succubus and mostly in trauma bonding. When the psychopath moves away from the victim of the moment, he will recycle these old goals and convince them that they can still be soulmates.

By restarting the cycle of abuse, which will be shorter and more humiliating with these.

Why, though, do so many women fall into the narcissist's trap? Certainly for the very skilled mimetic abilities, reflecting the desires - lovebombing phase - typical of disturbed personalities, but not only.

Women approached by the toxic individual can react in different ways. Accept the stage of idealization and then, at the first signs of abuse, walk away. Or, and this is our case, they stay long enough to make them fall into the trap and become addictive and biochemically induced.
Many of us, especially the younger ones, have also had winning female role models to identify with, or losing models to walk away from. This has meant that many women have developed a strong ego, have achieved success, have increased their self-esteem

What I would like you to focus on is the fact that, regardless of successes and strength gained, almost all women have the internal image of the strong, protective, savior prince.
Jung would speak of animus, that is, the unconscious male part present in every woman. Here, this obviously unconscious part is characterized by the power characteristics mentioned above.

The speech is long, but I will only say that the companion that many of us seek is the strong warrior who protects.

We come to us: How does the narcissist show himself at the beginning of the relationship? It shows itself like this. Nurturing, attentive, protective, strong, in control, authoritative, loving but firm, paternal ...

This is why you can fall into the web of lies of manipulative people while being strong women.

In an incomparable way they know how to awaken the child and bring back to light the unconscious image of the "father".
When the narcissist decides to discard his victims he begins to use a technique also known as punitive silence or silence treatment. In short, he does not make himself heard, he does not let himself be traced, in the most serious cases he blocks the victim and obviously does not show himself.

The problem with this behavior is that it happens without any kind of explanation, or rather, without any kind of satisfactory explanation. The victim, in fact, in the devaluation phase will certainly have tried to recover the recoverable, seeking communication and confrontation. Obviously these will never arrive and in case some answer is received, it was certainly not the decisive one.
As mentioned, the narcissist wants the victim to be dependent on him even when he is not present. This means that he has done his job in the best possible way by becoming a very powerful ascendant. So how should the victim react? What is the best way not to succumb to this kind of behavior?

Simply ignoring. The narcissist should not be given the satisfaction that he has made it, even if in most cases, he always does. You don't have to point it out to him, you don't have to look for it and you have to use every means of communication carefully. Blocking the naricist on social networks is a very delicate key, it is correct to block him on social networks or whatsapp to limit contact with him in every way. But you only have to do it when you are sure you can do it! If for example it is blocked and after a few months unblocked because you feel nostalgia for it or any other reason that leads to this action, you are giving it unparalleled power.

It is like serving him his dignity on a silver platter, he will use it again to prostrate the victim and is turning his hand a little more. So, to block it and totally eliminate it from social networks you have to be sure you can do it, otherwise it's better not to do it. You can use other methods such as the function of hiding its updates or the function of facebook "take a break". He will not notice anything and the victim will be "saved".

 

Previous Older Entries

%d bloggers like this: