BOYS AND DOLLS

40 years ago there were boys who said they wanted to play with dolls. And what did the parents do? They beat them. They beat and beat. Until the child resigned himself. But then he grew up with rancor, with hatred towards his parents, with a sense of revenge against them. 

Parents who beat up their children are not very good parents. But 40 years ago it was considered normal. 40 years ago it was considered normal for older males to torture young girls to prepare them for marriage. And this was granted by the parents. In fact, women were married when they were still girls and were given to old men, obviously pedophiles. But this was considered normal. 

So many children, who today are dead or suicidal or sadistic or depressed parents, were unhappy children because they were unable to express their needs. In psychology there is a lot of attention to the expression of one's needs especially in childhood, a period in which a child needs to explore the world and himself. So he wants to play, discover, discover himself, and do whatever he feels like doing. If obstacles are put to him, if his needs are denied, this child will grow up pathological. 

Maybe at that moment he will accept everything but inside he will feel killed, betrayed, denied. I'm talking about 40 years ago, when there was no gender fashion, when I played with those children, when we played in the courtyards and not at the play station.

STORY OF THE UNDECISED HUSBAND

A man had a wife and a lover and did not know who to choose. He decided to go to a sage to find an answer to his problem. He asked him if he should be with his wife or with his mistress. The wise man looked at him and took two vases in his hands: one with a rose and the other with a cactus and asked him:
"What do you do if I tell you to choose one of these two vases?". The man looked at him and replied: "Obviously I choose the rose!". The sage smiled: “You have proved to be reckless and hasty. You don't deserve either pot: neither the one containing the rose nor the one with the cactus. Some men, driven by beauty and worldliness, choose the one that seems to sparkle the most. The rose is beautiful but will soon wither. On the other hand, the cactus, even if it is not very beautiful at first sight, remains the same, regardless of the climate: dark green with many thorns but when it blooms it gives you a beautiful flower. Your wife knows all your weaknesses, flaws and mistakes and loves you for who you are. your lover does not want you whole but only the beautiful part: your smiles, the victories, the joy, the caresses. Your wife loves your tears, your defeats: she is close to you for better or for worse. When the hard times come, your lover will go away and look for someone else. Your wife will stay next to you. Don't look now that everything seems to be fine. Things won't go that long. It's too late for you now. You despised the cactus for having the rose and you don't deserve either of them. But know that there will come a time when you understand your mistake but it will be too late.

GREEN LOVE

Never get married as a lover. If you are in love, do not get married because in falling in love there is no sense of reality. Only when you have realized that next to you there is a wretch, a child or a neurasthenic, a hysteric, only when his defects are no longer funny, but hateful, then you will really love him. You have to know how to fight, know how to have different ideas and instead many live by making a living, swallowing toads. Relational well-being cannot decide on everything, because if not, the risk is that we proceed out of hypocrisy, that is to go ahead repressing what are our own truths. In fact, many live trying to avoid the defects of the other: I know that there are some things that I cannot say so that in front of a defect of the other I am in apnea waiting for it to pass and for one of its qualities to re-emerge. True love is that which knows no conditions, it is that which starts from attraction, passes through affinity and arrives at the intuition that there is something indissoluble between you. We all have this intuition and it is necessary to have it both. You don’t come to marriage to have an indissoluble relationship, but to put a seal on what you feel between yourselves as indissoluble.
And do you know what leads us to love in a certain way and not in another? The pain we felt, that’s right. The times we felt invisible, the words that pierced us, the abandonments we suffered, the goodbyes we inevitably found ourselves saying, the deaths we had to witness, the insecurities we carry inside from time immemorial. So you see? How can you think that one wound can look like another? That we all have the same pain threshold? All that can be said about love is that vhi really loves does not enjoy spreading the edges of our wounds, does not wallow in it, does not cling to it. The rest, all the rest, is another story.
I sit on the wall, squeeze my legs and look at my knees, to see some peeling, some bruising … Nothing. The ugly thing about broken hearts is this: that you can’t throw hydrogen peroxide on them and blow them while the bubbles walk on the wound, that you can only hold onto the pieces. And there are no operations and there are no medicines that can put them back together, you have to keep your heart broken like this. Maybe that’s good. Nobody deserves my frailty. It would be too easy to see a person who is always strong and smiling, but when the demons come out and there you really understand who you are in front of. I will continue to fight alone. It hurts to show yourself to others. It’s not worth it.
I believe that the human being has animal behaviors, but also plant ones. The animal has cells that heal and close its wounds. However, if you cut a branch it does not grow again: a plant wound is definitive and the only thing we can do is cover it. This is why we find trees with cavities, inside which fungi are born that feed the trunk. In this sense, our heart behaves like vegetables. If you hurt it it doesn’t heal, and the wound stays open. What could happen is that new experiences cover that same wound with life

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