An innocence stained by a dark past. I can still hear the devil whispering wicked advice into my ear. My heart gradually became corrupted until it became a black hole. All that remains of me is a ravenous monster, haunted by a visceral desire to harm someone. The stomach quivers, eager to taste the taste of blood. The hands tremble with a knife, while gently brushing the delicate skin with the sharp blade, fully enjoying every moment. The cries of pain are music to my ears; an intoxicating melody that inhibits the senses. It is an iniquitous and malicious gesture, the fruit of a mind devoid of sense and a soul infected by the evil one. It takes little to shatter such fragile bones. With one creak after another I reduce you to dust, a putrid mass of dreams and hopes shattered under the weight of my shoes. There are those who would hope for a faster death, but you beg for torment; the more harm I inflict on you the more you ask for and I gladly grant you an atrocious end, because it wouldn’t be fun if you finished too quickly. Ah, the harm I could do to you if I only wanted to. In this sensitive and naive world it is so easy to break such a delicate heart. But the part of you that is dying is only your innocence, because soon you will become like me: a vicious creature, stirred up by a blind rage to bring about extermination and desolation. How sweet is the taste of death on my lips, it is a kiss of Judas what I give you. I reach you with the promise of a love, but the gift you will get will be only that of regret.
Physical attraction is the key that moves the world, anyone can make us feel sensations and emotions, but the real attraction is that of souls. We will be able to supplant one caress for another, even a few kisses, but when we go further we will not be able to deceive our hearts, we will not be able to pretend to find what we have always sought, we will not be able to deceive ourselves.
When the hearts of those who are bound separate, the emptiness they leave is felt and is very deep, it drowns, it burns the soul. Two souls who have traveled together are much more connected than it might seem, their bond transcends everything.
However, the missions end, often even if two hearts have loved each other deeply and given to each other they are forced to take different paths, take other paths to learn what it is necessary for them to learn.
Two hearts do not separate as long as one lives in the other and is bizarre, but they will meet again perhaps in another life, on other occasions and that meeting will happen and it will be as if nothing had happened, it will all start again from the exact moment in which they broke up with.
Thus, on this night of rain and lightning, I rediscovered myself as my own sun. And I shine and I shine and I shine and I sing and dance and I go back to being myself before you, thinking about nights by the sea with ball music while I dance and look at the stars dreaming of love and love has arrived , it doesn't matter if he's already gone, I tried it, I felt it, it went through me and I thought I had lost pieces of my heart, again, but maybe not, maybe I found them again, maybe I reassembled the 'whole and it hurt me as much as when a missing limb reappears and the body has to get used to and heal the wounds, so, me. so I don't think about any revenge on you, my revenge is instead to find myself, get back on my feet, go back to dreaming, rediscover the desire to believe in love and in me, rediscover the desire to fall in love and to dance and sing to out loud in the rain.
I shine I feel the light pulsing inside me.
I remember my adolescence partly carefree, because I studied, made music and painted a lot, and partly painful, because I had to listen to my mother’s problems, I didn’t know how to deal with mine and she wanted my help and I gave her advice but she did not listen to me, I only served as a container in which to put all her suffering. So I had loves but I didn’t even talk about it to my sister because she was smaller and shy, she wanted to copy me in everything, I was flattered but then it was a disaster when I left because she felt abandoned, and I didn’t have it done on purpose but I had dreams that I wanted to fulfill and she still had to finish school and could leave the following year but then she didn’t come to me anymore and I was very disappointed. I was a happy and angry child, I had long hair and blond curls, I made faces at my waist but I always knew how to collect tears. I was so afraid when I lost the caresses of the hands of those I loved, the beautiful eyes that were the background of my dreams. I have always responded with elegance to offenses, without ever taking away and without giving too much. I tied to silver threads hanging from the sky, notes of soul to make poetry rain, to protect me from the world. I took a train in my mind and walked miles to kiss you and tell you I love you, because I don’t know how to shout. I scream in the silences. I put aside my insecurities to warm my heart, to take cover. I ran a lot in my dreams, to catch up with you and I would always run, because they taught me that love is the only thing worth fighting for and continuing to breathe.
I was an insecure, anxious girl, a good girl, one who always did what was asked of him, who never went crazy, who watched others live and she always remained on the bench, who dreamed of meeting great love. I have lived like this for 15 years. Then something happened. I fell in love. A year spent behind a boy, dignity under his feet, his heart punched, of which only scattered fragments remained. When it was all over I was destroyed. I said to myself “enough is enough! Time to change! ” And so it was. You know, you change by choice, not by chance. You change when something breaks and you are faced with a choice: change or fall behind. I have always hated being left behind, I have always loved running, and so I did, I ran, chasing the girl I had been all my life away in a corner of my mind. I started drinking, smoking, even what I could have avoided. I started to go dancing, to collect meetings, guys that after one evening I would never see again. I just wanted to have fun, feel like a teenager for once. This is what happens to those who spend a lifetime doing the right thing. The day will come when he decides to put a point and break everything. But I assure you in the same way that the day will come when all this will no longer be enough. Where your heart of ice will hurt too much in your chest. In which neither cigarettes nor straws will be able to calm the anxiety that arises inside you, which torments you like a hurricane. In which vodka will no longer be able to make you happy. In which you will understand that all those guys have only used you as an object: taken, used, thrown, replaced, and your insecurity will become unbearable. In which breaking all the rules will make you feel wrong, and more alone than ever. Because you see, you can never allow anyone to love you unless you first learn to love yourself. Another year has passed. And now? Now I am a confident, determined girl, one who does not do what is asked of her, nor who disobeys him in the name of some principle, now I decide my life, I have stopped being on the bench, I have stopped looking love and I started looking for myself, to love me despite all my infinite defects and you know what? It was then that love found me. Love each other. It is the only rule to be happy.
Even now women are victims of a system that oppresses them. War is one of the many means by which the oppression of women takes place who are considered spoils, slaughter fodder, their abused bodies. This violence has no limits, it is the worst form that exists. Women who see their freedom canceled. Useless years of study. Unit sacrifices. Useless jobs. Useless clothes. Any free choices that women have made until now are useless. The war - and the men who fly it - have taken it all. They steal and erase female freedom. Men who have the power to annihilate women, their stories, their choices. The influence men have on women's lives is frightening. They are the masters and exercise this power of life or death with extreme wickedness. They are women whose life is over. Many will be sold. They will be given in marriage by little girls. They won't go home. They will end up in prostitution. They will be forced into the worst violence. And they will have to undergo everything in silence, in the blackest terror, without any hope.
I am furious because now I am sitting on my beautiful sofa writing a stupid papyrus which is useless, which will not help any woman. I'm furious because I can't save any woman with words. Because using a fucking keyboard is useless. And while I choose which stupid shirt to wear, a hundred other women will suffer and die because others will choose for them.
A strong thought full of pain and hope goes to Afghan women with the hope that one day the world will accept all of us women as an integral part and not as a category to be oppressed.
Germaine Greer wrote: "Women have only a small idea of how much men hate them."
Limited education, prohibition of certain types of clothing, restrictions on freedom of movement. To fall under the control of the Taliban again means this for Afghan women, who have taken to the streets to oppose the advance of Islamic fundamentalists. In the days when the foreign armed forces left the country, they marched along the city streets in the north and center of Afghanistan carrying rifles. The most popular demonstration in Ghor, where hundreds of women, marching with weapons along the streets of the center, chanted slogans against the Taliban. “There were some women who just wanted to inspire the security forces, only symbolically. But many others were ready to go to the battlefields, ”said Halima Parastish, head of the women’s leadership in Ghor, in the statement reported by the Guardian. “I and some other women – she added – we told the governor, about a month ago, that we are ready to go to fight”. “I don’t want the country to be under the control of people who treat women the way they do. We took up arms to show that if we have to fight we will do it, ”a reporter later declared.It is not obvious to say that war, like evil, only brings out the worst in people, capable of showing their true nature without hesitation, in a state of suspended judgment. The strongest oppress the weakest, it has always been like that. And in the whirlwind of clichés, one from last August 15th echoes more than the others. With the takeover of Kabul by the Taliban, women are in grave danger. Everything that the Afghan women are or have conquered is raided day after day, in an all-encompassing process of depersonalization; they are objects for man’s use and consumption, they must satisfy their pleasures and to define them as sexual.It is not obvious to say that war, like evil, only brings out the worst in people, capable of showing their true nature without hesitation, in a state of suspended judgment. The strongest oppress the weakest, it has always been like that. And in the whirlwind of clichés, one from last August 15th echoes more than the others. With the takeover of Kabul by the Taliban, women are in grave danger. Everything that the Afghan women are or have conquered is raided day after day, in an all-encompassing process of depersonalization; they are objects for man’s use and consumption, they must satisfy their pleasures and to define them as sexual.Islamists have given “numerous warnings”: women and their families are threatened with death or torture if they go to work. The fighters do not warn twice, they go directly to action, staining even the most wicked acts such as necrophilia. All this seems to be confirmed by the warlords’ order to hunt girls aged 12 and over to make them sex prisoners, after the surrender of the Afghan government and the abandonment of the last US military troops. Rape, in reality, could only be the beginning of a long hell. Then, after the sexual violence, the same can be sold or sold as part of some commercial negotiation, such as weapons or drugs. Omar Sadr, who is a professor of politics at the American University of Afghanistan (no one knows how much …) argues that “the Taliban fighters feel authorized to do all this on the basis of their rigid interpretation of Islam, which sees women as kaniz », that is as a commodity.
I wasn’t ready to see you, but in saying it, or rather in writing it, I already somehow realize I’m lying to you. Actually I hadn’t wanted anything else for a long time, only that I didn’t dare to confess or rather I didn’t dare hope that life would offer me a new opportunity to see you. I know I have no right to say this because I have behaved terribly to you. If you wiped me from your mind you did very well, if you have a grudge against me, I can not help but understand. I disappeared from your life without a shred of justification. In hindsight, I can tell you that I was living in such a confused state that I was not aware of my actions. When an animal is afraid, what does it do? If it is strong enough it attacks, otherwise it flees. Or pretend to be dead. I couldn’t pretend I was dead because I had been inside for a long time. That’s why I ran away. I felt trapped. You wanted things from me that I was unable to give you. I was afraid of realizing too late that that step you were asking of me was a wrong step. Many ties may be wrecked because of this, because, in the wave of sentiment, one is captured by an enthusiasm that has nothing to do with reality. If we both fell into that trap, what would we do? We would have ended up biting each other like rats locked up in a cage that is too tight. At first they would have been gentle bites, warning bites but then, over time, we would have gotten to eat us and I loved you too much to drag you into a life you didn’t deserve. And then there was another ghost in my life. I felt you were becoming too important to me and important relationships made me – and still do – fear. As long as you are alone, it is enough for yourself, but when another person enters your life and conquers it inch by inch, what can you do? If the person suddenly changes his mind and abandons you or dies, what can you do with the part of you that remains empty? If I wrote this letter it is only to ask your forgiveness. You have no guilt, no responsibility in the end of our story. The weight of the loss will forever weigh on my shoulders. It helped me to understand that it is not possible to create paradises on earth. I don’t know if this letter will reach your hands. If it arrives, if you read it, it will perhaps end up torn or float for a while in the murky waters of the port. Seeing you shocked me, so many things moved inside me and I couldn’t help but write to you. Forgive me for this too.
THE PRODIGY OF IDEAS 