The greatest fear of those with a deep narcissistic wound is not to exist.
To be a nonentity.
The greatest shame that a person can suffer is to be ignored.
Seeking consensus and alliances through manipulation is one of his constant ways. In order to feel that she has consent, she is willing to do anything, even to mystify reality.
The person with a massive narcissistic wound develops high skills and abilities. He doesn't tell absurd lies, but starts from a fragment of reality that he twists properly, to such an extent that those who are manipulated doubt themselves.
Anyone who is so narcissistically compromised is actually profoundly alone and clings to an illusion of self.
In order to prove his worth, he is willing to do anything, to invent a love that doesn't exist, boast heroic deeds that never happened, distorting the facts.
He doesn't do it out of mere "malice".
He does this because the image of himself as a loser is in his own eyes intolerable. And it camouflages the sense of emptiness it feels with grandeur.
Those with this problem come to therapy exhausted and suffering. But he thinks it's the partner who needs to be fixed.
He never thinks he has a knot to solve. When this patient begins to understand that the splendor in which he thinks he lives falters, he runs away from therapy. He does not tolerate a long therapeutic path, feeling superior to others, he expects to resolve his malaise with a two-hour interview. Malaise that will deny even to himself.
His inner life is full of pain, fatigue and loneliness.
Never admitted.
They use other women to create competition and jealousy in their partner.
Exes can usually be placed by the narcissist in one of two categories:
fall in love with me
crazy.
The "crazy" exes are the ones who have seen through the psychopath's lies, have woken up and therefore refuse to take part in his perverse games again. These have not been left, but they have freed themselves, healed and definitively distanced themselves from the perverse. For this reason they are "crazy" in the eyes of the narcissist and are discredited in front of anyone.
The "in love with me" partners are those who believe they can still have some special role in the life of the psychopath / narcissist, they are still succubus and mostly in trauma bonding. When the psychopath moves away from the victim of the moment, he will recycle these old goals and convince them that they can still be soulmates.
By restarting the cycle of abuse, which will be shorter and more humiliating with these.
Why, though, do so many women fall into the narcissist's trap? Certainly for the very skilled mimetic abilities, reflecting the desires - lovebombing phase - typical of disturbed personalities, but not only.
Women approached by the toxic individual can react in different ways. Accept the stage of idealization and then, at the first signs of abuse, walk away. Or, and this is our case, they stay long enough to make them fall into the trap and become addictive and biochemically induced.
Many of us, especially the younger ones, have also had winning female role models to identify with, or losing models to walk away from. This has meant that many women have developed a strong ego, have achieved success, have increased their self-esteem
What I would like you to focus on is the fact that, regardless of successes and strength gained, almost all women have the internal image of the strong, protective, savior prince.
Jung would speak of animus, that is, the unconscious male part present in every woman. Here, this obviously unconscious part is characterized by the power characteristics mentioned above.
The speech is long, but I will only say that the companion that many of us seek is the strong warrior who protects.
We come to us: How does the narcissist show himself at the beginning of the relationship? It shows itself like this. Nurturing, attentive, protective, strong, in control, authoritative, loving but firm, paternal ...
This is why you can fall into the web of lies of manipulative people while being strong women.
In an incomparable way they know how to awaken the child and bring back to light the unconscious image of the "father".
When the narcissist decides to discard his victims he begins to use a technique also known as punitive silence or silence treatment. In short, he does not make himself heard, he does not let himself be traced, in the most serious cases he blocks the victim and obviously does not show himself.
The problem with this behavior is that it happens without any kind of explanation, or rather, without any kind of satisfactory explanation. The victim, in fact, in the devaluation phase will certainly have tried to recover the recoverable, seeking communication and confrontation. Obviously these will never arrive and in case some answer is received, it was certainly not the decisive one.
As mentioned, the narcissist wants the victim to be dependent on him even when he is not present. This means that he has done his job in the best possible way by becoming a very powerful ascendant. So how should the victim react? What is the best way not to succumb to this kind of behavior?
Simply ignoring. The narcissist should not be given the satisfaction that he has made it, even if in most cases, he always does. You don't have to point it out to him, you don't have to look for it and you have to use every means of communication carefully. Blocking the naricist on social networks is a very delicate key, it is correct to block him on social networks or whatsapp to limit contact with him in every way. But you only have to do it when you are sure you can do it! If for example it is blocked and after a few months unblocked because you feel nostalgia for it or any other reason that leads to this action, you are giving it unparalleled power.
It is like serving him his dignity on a silver platter, he will use it again to prostrate the victim and is turning his hand a little more. So, to block it and totally eliminate it from social networks you have to be sure you can do it, otherwise it's better not to do it. You can use other methods such as the function of hiding its updates or the function of facebook "take a break". He will not notice anything and the victim will be "saved".
When we think of sociopaths and psychopaths, we generally think of men. The Golden State Killer, The Night Stalker, Jack The Ripper—all men. But what about women?
Anti-Social, narcissistic and Machiavellian behavior that is found in women generally flies under the radar.
Narcissistic women aren’t using outright aggression and violence to terrorize their victims. Instead, they use manipulation and covert bullying to terrorize the people in their life.
The female narcissist is the true personification of a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
She appears in the form of a sweet, innocent girl, a kind-hearted mother, a vivacious, energetic, joyful woman, a kind, old grandmother—yet her motivations are often sinister and dark.
Deep beneath that sweet exterior lies something much more sinister: there lies a desire to destroy, hurt, and manipulate.
So why do female narcissists behave this way? What do they want? And what feeds this darkness within their soul?
Narcissistic women want, in no order of preference: power, dominance, control, wealth, status, resources; and, most disturbing of all, a desire to inflict pain on others, which leads to a sense of fulfillment and deep satisfaction on the part of the narcissist.
It should be noted that both men and women find themselves victims of the female narcissist, although usually in different ways.
Female victims are used to serve, feed and support the narcissistic woman’s ego, to serve her bidding like a servant serves its master.
While male victims are used to provide the narcissistic woman with attention, status and resources until the man is milked dry and is of no further use.
THE PRODIGY OF IDEAS 