December is the month of Advent, but what is Advent? Although in the Latin language the word "advent" means "coming", the most common meaning indicates waiting, that is, the liturgical season that is placed before Christmas. In addition to the fir with silver threads, the crib, the illuminated cave, the songs, the echo of the bagpipes and the gifts that are exchanged, Advent is also characterized by the presence of the calendar, where no girls are shown at the door next to it, but many boxes that begin to be opened by children from 1 December.
The first Advent calendar appeared in Germany in the nineteenth century, when the mother of little Gerhard Lang made one consisting of 24 sweets, some in the shape of stars, fixed on a sheet of cardboard. When Lang became an adult, he opened a printing office and produced what became the Advent calendar, with a colorful image for each day of Advent. In addition to knowing what Advent is, you need to know that curiosities are linked to it.
Not everyone is aware, for example, that during the Second World War, Advent calendars were not marketed because paper had to be saved. On the Sundays of Advent it is forbidden to celebrate funeral masses. As regards the beginning of the liturgical period, there are controversies. It is assumed that the Advent season starts from December 1st, in reality it should coincide with the Sunday closest to November 30th. The priests during the various celebrations change the color of the tunic from time to time. During the first two weeks it is purple and blue, on the third Sunday of Advent it is pink, up to white, in preparation for the birth of Christ.
Advent is therefore the period that precedes Christmas in the Christian liturgy and marks the beginning of a new liturgical year of the Western ecclesiastical year. But often for children it is only the period between them and the day when Santa Claus will arrive.
Two types of traditions are widespread: the Roman Advent and the Ambrosian Advent. Roman Advent, the most popular one, lasts 4 Sundays, the four Sundays preceding Christmas. Every Sunday the Gospel readings have precise characteristics and refer to the coming of the Lord at the end of time (I Sunday), to John the Baptist (II and III Sunday), to the immediate background of the birth of the Lord (IV Sunday).
First of all, therefore, if we want to make children understand the true meaning of Advent and wait for the arrival of Christmas with them, we must explain the religious meaning of this period. In order to teach children that waiting for Christmas is not just about waiting for Santa Claus to arrive. Also, if you are religious, you know that this period should be dedicated to prayer and not to shopping. In fact, in the past this period was very important in fact every Sunday of Advent has its own precise meaning:
First Sunday theme: Be careful, stay awake
symbol: an alarm clock
It is the moment of attention, of being awake. Of waking up from sleep: one cannot be found asleep when the lord arrives. The guiding symbol will be the "alarm clock", a sound, a reminder. During the week we need to have our eyes open, be able to notice the needs of the people around us in order to be ready to respond to them.
Second Sunday theme: Prepare the way, straighten the paths.
symbol: a stone
Our gaze, more attentive and aware, discovers that every day is a journey, studded with many opportunities to say "yes", to be sent, sent. But we can also answer with the stones of "no". The guiding symbol will be a stone.
Third Sunday theme: The earth produces vegetation
symbol: a bulb of narcissus
The journey is long and often tiring. In order not to lose courage, one must look at the goal, hope for it to be reached, and foretaste the joy of arrival.
Fourth Sunday theme: Mom awaits the baby
symbol: the heart
On the fourth Sunday of Advent, our attention is turned to the one who first waited for Jesus: his mother, Mary. In fact, Mary is the central figure of the season of Advent, because no one has ever waited and never will wait for Jesus with greater faith and love. A heart-shaped cookie can be eaten as a sign of fraternal communion or it can be hung on the Christmas tree!
The Advent season is a time of hope and humility. If we meditate on Sacred Scripture, we will see how humility is the indispensable requisite for disposing to welcome and listen to God.
Humility means seeing ourselves as we are, without filters, according to truth. Noting our littleness, we will open ourselves to the greatness of God. Mary is a simple and humble girl and she remains so even after becoming the mother of Jesus. Mary never puts herself in front of Jesus but lets her son spread the word of God to everyone. She falls behind because she understands the importance of her son's mission on earth. She does not cry out, she does not adorn herself with jewels, she does not allow herself to be served by anyone, she stays there like everyone else and listens to those precious words understanding the importance of those divine teachings.
Loving oneself and loving others are two inseparable things, one the reflection of the other.
This makes me think of narcissists, who in the common imagination are people who love only themselves.
But starting from the premise made, we understand that their love for themselves is no less sick than that felt by those who love others without loving themselves.
In both cases it is a simple compensation of infantile needs, neither is pure love. But society only takes it out on narcissists (and their invisible insecurities) and instead puts those who love others on a pedestal to satisfy their ego.
We are perpetually deceived by the courteous and kind manners of certain people which lead us to think that there is a correspondence between them and the goodness of soul.
On the other hand, among the most common masks and disguises of ugly people, inside there are beautiful manners.
They serve to sidetrack the real thoughts they have about others and relieve their feelings of guilt.
A person with strong narcissistic dynamics does not tolerate being left behind. Not because he cares about you. Because he wants to manage the waste. If she is the one to leave, she does so naturally and without scruples. If one dares to leave it, it will not be tolerated. Often he will try to hang up and then be able to suddenly get out of the relationship, keeping the image of himself victorious. Let us remember in all this what is important to her is not you. It is to safeguard itself. There are people who tend to get overwhelmed and humiliate themselves with everyone in the most varied contexts. When you get used to overstepping your limits because you are unable to oppose, rebel and say no, you enter a deadly loop in which you lose your borders. To the sense of humiliation you risk to become anesthetized and never get out of it.
The opportunities for awakening, however, happen to everyone sooner or later and it is one that must be taken advantage of to be indignant and raise one's head.
Living crushed, humiliated, submissive and bent can cause premature death or eternal unhappiness. Saving opportunities need to be seized as they arise. It is only the idiots who do not know how to grasp them and remain in their mire.
It's not your fault you stay in the mud. It's just happening that someone or somebody, a narcissistic person, is using you and manipulating you to get something: money, sex, success, gifts.
There is no narcissist, man or woman, who does not lead a double or triple life.
Victims are always very surprised by this because, among the various deceptions they implement, they manage to make you feel unique when they are there.
And so we tend not to ask ourselves where they are when they are not there.
The answer is simple: to tell someone else bullshit. Victims of perverse narcissists and psychopaths in general should focus on their own narcissistic wounds and fear of rejection in particular. Because it is precisely when you insist on staying close to the bastards, at all costs, that the process of self-destruction begins. Staying next to an abused will only amplify a wound that will never heal.
The essential principle of recovering from the trauma of a relationship with a psychopath is through total and complete acceptance of the truth.
This truth is only betrayal. This truth is very painful, but it is the only one that can heal the wound of a betrayal [abuse] trauma.
Not accepting the truth causes the brain to generate the worst reactions, functioning like a computer that is stuck and does not advance.
The first and most necessary reset of your brain is assuming from the beginning of your recovery the ultimate truth of your own innocence and the undeserving of what happens to you.
You were betrayed by someone who shouldn't have done it.
Years of "blame treatment" by a psychopath can convince his victims that it's all their fault.
The truth is, loving a psychopath is scary to those who experience it.
His inability to feel and experience emotions leads him to a surprisingly frightening emotional coldness for his victims.
A life devoid of emotions bores them and, for this reason, they seek in betrayal, risk, deception or overcoming any moral or legal limit the way to be able to get out of that deadly tedium in which they live, thus generating emotions that devastate the partner.
His moral inability to take responsibility for his actions, his harsh and callous behavior, his sense of grandiosity and of deserving everything without any effort to achieve it, leads the psychopath to refuse to feel discomfort, guilt or remorse for his indolent, parasitic, unfair or directly predatory behavior.
It is always others who are to blame.
It is usually necessary to remind the victim that he is innocent. It's not his fault, but the psychopath's.
The victim did nothing to deserve this destruction. There is nothing that justifies what one suffers at the hands of the psychopath.
One of the most positive aspects of working with patients who have been victims of a relationship with a psychopath is the fact that the suffering they bring is of such caliber that they are more motivated than any other type of patient to do "whatever" you propose to get out. from the well.
In this sense, having suffered so much in a psychopathic relationship offers the best therapeutic predictions.
If you go ahead and believe in the truth of your innocence and have hope, you will heal your relationship with the psychopath and learn to prevent and anticipate in time any further trauma of abuse that may appear in your life.
To believe that you will move forward is to have hope. And hope is the best prognosis for your recovery.
Believe me when I tell you that all of this will end, and you will go on, even if now you don't see anything and you find yourself in the dark. Start turning on the light and be determined to move forward from truth and recovered innocence.
THE PRODIGY OF IDEAS 