Instead of continuing to do, do, do, it might be appropriate to reduce a little what you do every day and take the time to be.
Have you ever thought about how difficult it is to give yourself time to stay, reflect, meditate, look at life in a sunset, observe a cat, a flight of birds.
Can you answer the question "who are you?" without limiting yourself to the name, and to the work you do?
The "doing" often coincides with the "doing by force" which at the body level can be translated with a state of tension or with a general feeling of frustration.
This feeling, in words, is often defined with phrases like
"I have little space" or "it's all too full" "I miss the air" or "I feel back against the wall".
In all these cases one must return to one's own time, to pauses, to one's internal spaces, to those areas made up of borders, areas of contact and withdrawal from the environment and on the other that mark not only our internal times, but above all our needs.
What do I really need?
What taste drives people to excite restless souls, I know all too well. It’s a sadistic, wonderful, exhilarating little game. The same taste that drove you, my friend, now. What a perverse pleasure … Ah! Understandable. The eyes of fame, the body of need, the mouth that asks. Okay, let’s play. It delights me too much to tear souls and see you capitulate. You know, the world will always try to transform you into who it wants you to be. People, time, events, all will try to sculpt your self and make you believe you don’t know who you are. But it doesn’t matter who they try to turn you into or how they try to change you. You have to stay true to yourself. I feel like I’m wearing a sweater, one of those heavy pinching high-necked ones … I feel suffocated in a world like this …
When you were five and still using a pencil, you couldn’t wait to be a nine-year-old to finally have a ballpoint pen. When you turned nine, you told yourself you wanted to be twelve, that if you could just pull the days towards your graduation day, you would. At twelve, you had a bad day, and you asked heaven to speed up time, and take you to fifteen right away. You were fifteen, bombarded with too many school jobs, yet you still managed to endure; nothing has changed, you wanted to become an adult. You turned eighteen. You thought that at that point you could conquer the world; you were on the road to being of age, it thrilled your soul, because you saw it as freedom from everything. Nineteen years old and you fell in love and realized that maybe a skinned knee hurt less after you fell off your bike. You have known loneliness, betrayal, anguish, pain and you have understood that you should not have been in a hurry to grow up.One of the things that changed my relationship with love was my desire to open up, to be given the opportunity to have the freedom to choose, to inform myself, to feel the need to improve myself. Understanding that, like everyone, I have potential. In this way I was able to increase love and respect for my person, who by nature will continue to falter, but that’s okay and consequently towards everything around me. Once love reaches your soul, she will ask for more and more, again, the best thing will be to find valid sources from which to draw and this is where our openness, our availability and the knowledge of us come into play. themselves. Sometimes it is important to detach ourselves from conventions, stop relying solely on what is served on our plate and listen to us deeply, in search of what can give us the love we need.
Neglect in a relationship is no different than neglecting something or someone in general. It is a situation where you care very little or do not care about your partner at all.
Intentionally or unintentionally, avoiding someone’s needs leads to a feeling of physical or emotional absence, which can be felt by either partner in that relationship. Neglect is when you promise your woman something and do not keep up later.
When she needs to talk, are you mostly busy? When it’s her birthday or your anniversary, do you find it hard to remember the date? What about that time when she planned a candle light dinner, and you didn’t show up?
Neglect could also be about when you got promoted, or something big happened in your life, but you did not share it with her for whatever reason or rather forgot to tell her. Do you help her with household chores or share equal responsibility?
In Gail Honeyman’s popular novel, Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, the protagonist describes loneliness as the new cancer, “A shameful, embarrassing thing, brought upon yourself in some obscure way. A fearful, incurable thing, so horrifying that you dare not mention it.” We don’t talk about it, and yet one in four adults is lonely, according to the Australian Loneliness Report. I’d describe my own loneliness as somewhere between sadness and a deep ache. Although the circumstances that brought it on – stepping out of an incredibly social career, moving to a new neighbourhood and having two babies in quick succession – mean I’m exposed to many risk factors for loneliness, it still took me by surprise. I love my own company, crave alone time and have happily lived by myself in the past. But, finding myself longing for support and connection – and not being able to get it – led me to a frustrating place where I was left asking: what is this feeling? Is it an emotion? A life state? And why does it feel so awful? “I think loneliness is an innate signal that a need is not being met, similar to hunger or thirst,” says Dr Michelle Lim, chair of the Australian Coalition to End Loneliness and a senior lecturer in clinical psychology. “From an evolutionary point of view, we are designed to be social, to thrive in groups and develop meaningful connections. The way we’re living now, many of our social needs are not being met, which triggers a stress response.”
THE PRODIGY OF IDEAS 