CATCH THE NIGHT

I always saw myself as a safety net for all the people I knew. I have always tried to cushion everyone’s fall, even those who do not know how they ended up on the net. Then one day I realized that I can’t spend my whole life cushioning the falls of others, because the one who gets hurt in the end is always me, tense and waiting. Becoming aware of your limits is perhaps one of the most powerful and at the same time debilitating things that can exist. You understand that you are not Atlas, that you do not have the world on your shoulders, and with the relief comes the feeling of loss, bewilderment. You feel small, all the potential strength you had dissolved in an instant. It remains only you with your limits and the awareness that Atlas the world on his shoulders in the end had it as a punishment, otherwise with the cock that he chose to carry the globe on his back. Every now and then the lump in the throat returns, the breath stops in small moments of panic in which you just try to get a little air into the lungs. I feel suffocated by the weight of all the things I haven’t done.

BEING STRONG

One morning you wake up and just at the exact moment that fraction of a second just before setting your foot on the ground you understand what you really want, what are you willing to put up with and what not, what or who are you willing to put aside because the thing is to One way street… And everything that crushed you until the night before, made you sick becomes the past. Important and non-erasable part of your life, but past. Something you don’t want to hear anymore. There is a greater awareness of who we are and what we want. The road ahead will be long and often difficult, but having chosen ourselves for once and not others will make us feel better. People will never stop judging every step you take, without wondering why you are doing it, or for the person you are inside, they can only see what they want to see without really looking at you. You may be the coldest person on this planet, but do you really want to hide behind a mask to look strong? Is it really so important to show yourself for what you are not? Do you really think you are that strong? We all have weaknesses, fears, insecurities, but we are never alone. Someone tried to reach out to you to help you, why didn’t you take it? You think you can handle everything by yourself don’t you? But is not so. Nobody is alone in this world, you have to get help from someone, you can’t carry all the problems on your shoulders, friends, family, a point of reference, it helps not to keep all the load on your shoulders, let someone take a little ‘weight off your shoulders, you will feel lighter. For me, being strong is like an armor that over time, through mistakes and experiences, you learn to fortify. Being strong is also understanding, for example when a situation repeats itself several times, you learn to manage it and not feel bad about it, when people disappoint you several times, you learn to know how to behave should it happen again, without spending too much time cursing you. I do not consider myself a totally strong person, we all have moments when weakness makes us fall .. you are never completely strong, emotions are too strong feelings to make you feel “invincible”. I don’t always feel strong, it also depends on the topic, but I try.

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