I move slowly. A step at a time. At this rate, I wonder if I will ever really be able to grow and mature. I always find myself chasing the best version of me who in parallel becomes stronger, more confident and more competent in what they do and believe.

I am there to chase it but as far as it seems to me to go fast, it always manages to distance me and sow me.

It is when I truly feel it far away that I fall into depression and return to my cave. but like every other time, without knowing why, how, when, what the fuck of external or internal lighting, I get back on track and try again.

I try again to chase myself, to improve myself, to grow up for a good and holy time. I am still unaware of how many attempts it will take before I can unite with the other half and become one complete and consistent entity. but I know I’ll keep trying.

Because I’m stupid to take it for granted that I can get it over with when I want and easily. And why, one of the few things I believe in, is in that solid, consistent and full of life part that I find myself deep inside.

Even if it can be just a crumb around all nothingness, the oblivion of which I am made. As long as that little light exists I know I can make it. a distant but splendid day.

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