I feel like inside a cocoon. I would like to have a zipper right there, where my hair ends, a zipper to pull until it opens in two and pop out, emerge from the old to feel alive. take a step, look down on the floor at that mass of past stories, extra pounds, accumulated mistakes and feel good in my new skin. I am experiencing a paradox, I continue to seek silence and in the meantime I would like to have friendships. I feel so alone. I’m on the verge of another change, less traumatic but not taken for granted. it is difficult to see spring advance and not yet understand where to blossom.
Nature is not good or bad, Nature is not bad. I believe that Nature in her being is ALL beautiful and perfect. Every aspect of nature should be well appreciated, every element that constitutes it, whether it is an animated element or not. From the small insect that lives its life by surviving, to the majestic and imposing centenary tree. In the same way, the little caterpillar walking on branches is already beautiful in itself, and it is beautiful already as it is. Why, both through the media and without, do we teach our children that caterpillars are ugly and useless and necessarily need to become butterflies to have beauty and value and count for something in the animal kingdom? A caterpillar that becomes a butterfly is certainly a noteworthy scientific advance, a development of the animal that in this way accesses new functions and abilities. But this does not mean that before this “transformation” that little animal is something useless and unpleasant to the eye. Each of us in our own way is unique, special, beautiful, precisely because we are all different and we do different things; it is right that we can always improve but we all have a starting point that already implies that we are important, that we count for something in this society.


The world is becoming butchers and we ourselves are the butchers, what an absurd paradox! While we are intent on destroying the world to “work” we do not realize that we are losing the place to live, we do not realize that without water and oxygen we cannot live, instead we can very well without oil, but what matters Moreover? Nowadays, of course, oil. But do we realize that we are dying piece by piece? All, all of all ethnic groups, all colors, without any difference, from all social states, from all over the world. We are dying and we think about the differences we have between us instead of uniting everything that unites us to build, we are destroying and we don’t know how to think about anything else!
And here I am, struggling with my classic panic attack, with my crises, crises that do not depend on what happens to me, but which depend solely and exclusively on my thousand fears and paranoia. Do you think I’m stupid? Unfortunately you are right, you are absolutely right. The doctor says that it is the coffees that fuel my state of perennial anxiety, but I don’t think it changes much (also because today I only drank a coffee). What leads me to stay like this is myself. For example right now I think I should try harder to build a future that is worth living, I think I should try to give less affection because it is often not reciprocated, I think I should have more time for myself, but then there I think back and conclude that probably I shouldn’t have any time for myself at all, I think I should satisfy the wishes of the people who love me, or maybe I should satisfy mine. I think I would like to be more independent from the world and I feel that I have not finished much, I think about the events that will happen, about the ones that I have seen in my vision and I am afraid that no one can imagine how terrible it will be. I think my heart is beating fast and I can hear it in my ears. I think I forget to breathe, I think it’s raining, I think if I don’t calm down it will get worse and worse. This is the problem: I THINK!
We are human. No matter what we try to do to convince ourselves that this is not the case, we are this and we are wrong, but this is also normal. We are stubborn, we are sad and misunderstood, but we must live with ourselves and love each other, but above all forgive ourselves. We must give up, we must stop wanting to feel strong to protect ourselves from others, we are human: we suffer.It hurts to fucking feel vulnerable, but we are made of flesh and blood, the fact is that we are vulnerable. We are only human beings, we are only mere creatures, like other animals, we are only ourselves, and however much it hurts to accept it: the sooner we accept it and the sooner we forgive ourselves! WE FORGIVE OURSELVES.


They are reducing the world population and we don't even realize it.
We are pushed to have sex for fun by porn sites and TV shows like Geordie and Jersey Shore as they bombard us with Durex ads so that we don't have children. Now committing suicide has become a game. Now you are so stupid that you agree to throw yourself out of a building to be filmed and to post it on social media. To "win" a game in which we lose our lives. To be "cool" in the eyes of others. And to please a "curator" who does not know who the fuck he is, where he comes from, who the fuck he thinks he is to give us orders. And what orders then. We are so dumb and bored that we choose to become their dogs. We are easy to manipulate. Easy to control with a stick. We're just stupid humans. Who let themselves be manipulated by other stupid humans. They tell us thrown out of the building and we rightly throw ourselves. Because they are powerful, then they punish us, wow, what a fear. What the fuck is your life worth ?! What the fuck would you like to be when you grow up? People who let themselves be manipulated by ordinary balls? People who put their lives in the hands of others? Do you like bleating like sheep? You think you do and you don't even notice it. We are a flock of retarded people heading straight for the slaughterhouse. Including myself, I am no better than you.
Much of the population is addicted to drugs such as cocaine and heroin that speed up our death, turning us into a cluster of zombies. Now The Walking Dead doesn't just feel like a TV series.
Are you pregnant and didn't know? You can have an abortion.
Are you pregnant and do you know it? Morning after pill.
As long as we are teenagers we go to the disco, we get drunk, we fuck all night and the next morning we don't even remember what he looked like.
I've seen 13-year-olds smoking a 20-a-day pack of Marlboros, I've seen girls lose their virginity in a nightclub bathroom. I've seen guys my age ruin themselves by snorting their traumas on small tables as black as the shadow of their soul. Who smoked burning it on the tinfoil.
And I wonder what the fuck am I doing in this world of shit.
It will not only be you who will become sterile but our entire generation.


When I speak and say something, I am never understood. When I speak and say something I am not listened to because I do not speak on video. I write and speak. I don’t record videos. Those who make videos perhaps have a better chance of being heard and understood, even appreciated by everyone. The videos are more followed. I am never taken into consideration because I don’t start talking in front of a cam, I don’t show my tits, I don’t whisper, I don’t blink, I don’t talk about fashion and make-up. I feel very frustrated about this because in this society only videos matter. People want to see someone, fantasize, imagine. I don’t show videos. I speak. But I’m not understood.


I have lived for half of my life in my art world. Then I got out and discovered reality. Unfortunately for me, not knowing the rules, I didn’t know how to behave, so I was always spontaneous, sincere, without ulterior motives. Instead I had to learn that reality is artificial and that people are almost always constructed and false. I had to suffer criticism because I am too “sociable, open, convivial, affectionate ..” Think about how a person who always has everything with his heart and hears certain things can be. So they explained to me that I have to follow certain behaviors to be accepted by people, people who are all cold, detached, always with a mask and not at all spontaneous. I refused, rather I am alone with my dog ​​and my books. We wrote, sang and danced and the inevitability of the black future was tangible. We looked too far away. We didn’t touch a drop, no substance but our minds were so full of things that we were unstoppable and unstoppable. At night we wandered into philosophical discussions and our intent was not to explain things but to express our experiences. We went to the most unknown alleys of Palermo, wandering in search of wonderfully unknown corners. We sighed as if we were in love with the air itself. How can one continue to live after having touched eternity? How can we expect a future that was invisible to us? We were our infinity.


What do you ask the people of this society? To be efficient, brilliant, beautiful. What’s so much about the women of this time? The trick. Because women always have to be perfect. They always have to be beautiful to be noticed and to be considered. women can never forget in their lives that they must always be beautiful. If they do not show themselves at their best they are considered witches, mussels, zombies. In short, women are always required to take care of their appearance. And women spend a lot of money to buy make-up products. They spend a lot of money going to the gym. To make destructive diets. Women are required to have an image always suitable for their role as females. If they don’t show this picture of themselves then they’re lesbians, or crazy, or depressed. A woman who neglects is considered depressed. If you don’t reflect the current fashion model then you are out of every pattern and therefore out of every round of friendships and stay alone. If you don’t talk about all the topics women talk about, then stay alone. Women themselves marginalize you, women themselves are the cruellest throws at other women.

%d bloggers like this: