We humans are always looking for a way to escape from reality, and the reasons seem endless.

Of course, for fear of death. Sure, because they want to die but they don't think their time has come yet. Sure, because they don't want to make their loved ones suffer with death even if we want to die.

And obviously they don't focus only on death, there are thousands of reasons: stress, tiredness, fears, situations, by their very nature...

And it is curious how many different ways there are.

I've been reading a lot, really a lot lately. And every time I read, it's as if I create a new universe around me where I am the spectator, and the adventures are dictated by the book.

I like to depersonalize and observe, observe what is happening from a distance, analyse, make my assumptions, and keep looking at every little detail.

My personality is still a bit split, and right now I'm totally uninterested in being part of people's attention.

And I've noticed that, often in recent years I've tried to distort reality into something less painful, let's say I've lived in another universe. It's curious how my mind kept looking for ways to protect my sensitivity, trying to give me everything gradually; initially suppressing almost everything, then slowly letting me experience the pain.

Honestly, I'm curious what ailments I might have, but it's better that I don't know since, it could be that my mind could try to conform to the ailment.

Another nice way I've been creating universes is through people. It's something that, for now, I've decided I'm not going to ask people to do anymore. Creating worlds with other people, describing them, interacting with them, that was definitely one of the best ways I created happy universes.
Another way I used to create universes is through creation, programming. I have always treated my programs with care, attention, in every little single detail. And I identify with them, I make them grow by paying attention to detail. We can say that, every programming project that I do, I treat it with care and give it its own soul.
There are also abstract or other concrete ways with which I create universes, but I'm tired of writing now: the part of me that favors writing is correlated with pain, on the other hand I was born this way, and when I'm fine I tend to write less .

Well, you know how good / bad I am really looking at my blog, and how much I publish.

If I post frequently, I'm sick.

If I post 1 time every day / 2, or more, it could be that, either I'm so bad, or I don't have time, or I'm fine.

If you don't see me for 1 week, there's confirmation that I've been fine all week.

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