CONFORMISM

Society presents itself as a sort of “pressing” (pressure) on a person, stimulating him to always seek conformity and forcing him to always pay attention to what “people might say” and forcing him to be “what others want see ”, preventing her from being“ that who is in truth ”. Man, as a part of society, becomes dependent on the opinion of others from childhood. At first it is caused by the desire to deserve parental approval and the respect of peers and later, in adulthood – by the desire to look like a happy and righteous person in the eyes of others. I often realized that sometimes this desire was so strong that it prevented me from living my life, even if it was a little different from generalized stereotypes. In society there is a clear allocation of “successful” and “losers”, “normal” and “strange” men and so on. Even though I understood that my vocation was different from the image, imposed by society and expected by my relatives, I kept trying to conform to that. One wonders, why? Internally many of us agree that depending on some other opinion is stupid, but in practice the situation is very different. The dependence on the opinions of others manifests itself and can be characterized by the envy of the successes of others, by the resentment caused by one’s own fiasco and also by the fear of disappointing the expectations of loved ones and close relatives, because we must have everything “like the others”. If not, “what will people say?”
Is this public opinion, which affects my life, justified? Do I really want to live my life not as my heart prompts me, but as others want? Come to think of it, my life, my health, and my success don’t change based on someone’s disapproval or condemnation. So what’s the point of paying attention to what others might say or think about me? (Here, of course, I am not talking about situations in which my actions could cause some harm to someone.) Often the cause of my inner wars becomes the opposition between “I want” and “I must”. I think most young people my age have already faced this kind of conflict, but in my case the roots of the problem go back to the Russian mentality. In Russian families, children get used to the fact that duty is above all else. The word “duty” dominates the interests of the child. You have to study perfectly, you have to play sports, you have to become a doctor like your grandfather and this list may never end. Saying “I want” is considered disrespectful. I often choose between my “want” and parental “must”. It is always a difficult choice. Finding the right solution isn’t always easy. Over time, I began to listen to myself more often, but that wasn’t always the case. When I was a child, I always did what my parents told me, even if I wanted to do something else. All this caused discontent, a bad mood and insecurity.

NARCISISTIC LOVE

Loving oneself and loving others are two inseparable things, one the reflection of the other.
This makes me think of narcissists, who in the common imagination are people who love only themselves.
But starting from the premise made, we understand that their love for themselves is no less sick than that felt by those who love others without loving themselves.
In both cases it is a simple compensation of infantile needs, neither is pure love. But society only takes it out on narcissists (and their invisible insecurities) and instead puts those who love others on a pedestal to satisfy their ego.
We are perpetually deceived by the courteous and kind manners of certain people which lead us to think that there is a correspondence between them and the goodness of soul.
On the other hand, among the most common masks and disguises of ugly people, inside there are beautiful manners.
They serve to sidetrack the real thoughts they have about others and relieve their feelings of guilt.
A person with strong narcissistic dynamics does not tolerate being left behind. Not because he cares about you. Because he wants to manage the waste. If she is the one to leave, she does so naturally and without scruples. If one dares to leave it, it will not be tolerated. Often he will try to hang up and then be able to suddenly get out of the relationship, keeping the image of himself victorious. Let us remember in all this what is important to her is not you. It is to safeguard itself. There are people who tend to get overwhelmed and humiliate themselves with everyone in the most varied contexts. When you get used to overstepping your limits because you are unable to oppose, rebel and say no, you enter a deadly loop in which you lose your borders. To the sense of humiliation you risk to become anesthetized and never get out of it.

The opportunities for awakening, however, happen to everyone sooner or later and it is one that must be taken advantage of to be indignant and raise one's head.

Living crushed, humiliated, submissive and bent can cause premature death or eternal unhappiness. Saving opportunities need to be seized as they arise. It is only the idiots who do not know how to grasp them and remain in their mire.
It's not your fault you stay in the mud. It's just happening that someone or somebody, a narcissistic person, is using you and manipulating you to get something: money, sex, success, gifts.
There is no narcissist, man or woman, who does not lead a double or triple life.
Victims are always very surprised by this because, among the various deceptions they implement, they manage to make you feel unique when they are there.
And so we tend not to ask ourselves where they are when they are not there.
The answer is simple: to tell someone else bullshit. Victims of perverse narcissists and psychopaths in general should focus on their own narcissistic wounds and fear of rejection in particular. Because it is precisely when you insist on staying close to the bastards, at all costs, that the process of self-destruction begins. Staying next to an abused will only amplify a wound that will never heal.
The essential principle of recovering from the trauma of a relationship with a psychopath is through total and complete acceptance of the truth.
This truth is only betrayal. This truth is very painful, but it is the only one that can heal the wound of a betrayal [abuse] trauma.
Not accepting the truth causes the brain to generate the worst reactions, functioning like a computer that is stuck and does not advance.
The first and most necessary reset of your brain is assuming from the beginning of your recovery the ultimate truth of your own innocence and the undeserving of what happens to you.
You were betrayed by someone who shouldn't have done it.
Years of "blame treatment" by a psychopath can convince his victims that it's all their fault.
The truth is, loving a psychopath is scary to those who experience it.
His inability to feel and experience emotions leads him to a surprisingly frightening emotional coldness for his victims.
A life devoid of emotions bores them and, for this reason, they seek in betrayal, risk, deception or overcoming any moral or legal limit the way to be able to get out of that deadly tedium in which they live, thus generating emotions that devastate the partner.
His moral inability to take responsibility for his actions, his harsh and callous behavior, his sense of grandiosity and of deserving everything without any effort to achieve it, leads the psychopath to refuse to feel discomfort, guilt or remorse for his indolent, parasitic, unfair or directly predatory behavior.
It is always others who are to blame.
It is usually necessary to remind the victim that he is innocent. It's not his fault, but the psychopath's.
The victim did nothing to deserve this destruction. There is nothing that justifies what one suffers at the hands of the psychopath.
One of the most positive aspects of working with patients who have been victims of a relationship with a psychopath is the fact that the suffering they bring is of such caliber that they are more motivated than any other type of patient to do "whatever" you propose to get out. from the well.
In this sense, having suffered so much in a psychopathic relationship offers the best therapeutic predictions.
If you go ahead and believe in the truth of your innocence and have hope, you will heal your relationship with the psychopath and learn to prevent and anticipate in time any further trauma of abuse that may appear in your life.
To believe that you will move forward is to have hope. And hope is the best prognosis for your recovery.
Believe me when I tell you that all of this will end, and you will go on, even if now you don't see anything and you find yourself in the dark. Start turning on the light and be determined to move forward from truth and recovered innocence.

YOU WANT THE SUCCESS?

THIS SYSTEM MAKE YOU THINK THAT RICH PEOPLE AND SMART PEOPLE ARE HAPPY.
THEY WANT YOU TO BECOME MORE AND MORE RICH AND SO IF YOU’RE NOT ABLE YOU GO DEPRESSED.
THIS SYSTEM WANTS PEOPLE BE DEPRESSED SO THEY CAN DESTROY YOUR WILL.

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