THE DAY OF CHANGING

Today is the day of turning point, of change, of scientific progress, of revolutionary discoveries in the medical, technical, social fields…. But today is also the day where useless vaccines are made only for a pure purpose of profit, of gain, today is the day in which we treat the land that welcomes us like a doormat and that presents wonders everywhere but that we, with the our selfishness, indifference, with our dull mentality, we are turning into a huge dustbin. Today is the day we prefer to ignore, rather than act, thinking “But yes, if I’m not promoting a change someone else will do, we are still 7 billion.” Today is the day of fake smiles and not laughter, it is the day when if you see a person in difficulty, who is sick, you prefer to go straight and mind your dicks, “anyway I don’t get anything out of it.” Today is the day when a like is worth more than a “hey, are you okay?” It is the day when being yourself is seen as a taboo, as a wrong choice…. It is the day in which homosexuals and transsexuals still feel uncomfortable even just walking around the square, because “how disgusting, but they did so at home”. It is the day when you are not free to be able to love a person, it is the day when children cannot dress up barbies and girls cannot compete with toy cars. It is the day when abortion is still seen not as a right, but as a heresy towards the Catholic Church. It is the day when a single mother cannot be seen as a brave girl, who has decided to dedicate body and soul to the dedication of her son, making major sacrifices, but is seen as a whore. Today is the day when animals are treated as if they do not have a life, a soul, and are mistreated only for the purely playful purpose. Today is the day when it is harder to find work than a needle in a haystack. Today is the day when those who differ are seen in a bad way, it is the day when those who have their own personality can only be insulted mistreated, laughed at. Today is the day when we should use our hands to embrace, and not to hurt, it is the day when love is transmitted almost and exclusively through social media, and is no longer demonstrated with gestures. Today is the day whenif we see a person from a country that is not ours, it is immediately “let’s move away, it can be dangerous”, today is the day we live to appear and not to be, it is the day when the main goals of one’s life are to be full of money and ride a Lamborghini and only then (perhaps) to find a person who truly loves us and build a family with him. Today is the day when we could do, but we don’t, the day when love is more an abstract conception than a concrete pillar at the foundation of our truly being ourselves happy. Today is the day when we are almost in 2020, but more than people I only see beautiful empty frames turning, without a soul, without their own thoughts and without ideals. Today is the day we should say “finally”, and isn’t there still a long way to go?

PANIC ATTACK

A panic attack causes certain specific symptoms such as tachycardia and the feeling of having a heart attack, wheezing and cold sweats. When you try it for the first time and arrive in the emergency room, not knowing what is happening to you, doctors mislead the conversation by talking about stress as if the word panic were taboo. However, panic often comes with images, sometimes at the same time of the day and sometimes as a surprise. The attack of anguish is very different. It is as if a hole is opened in the diaphragm and this is about to absorb all the vital strenght. All you can do is lie down and wait for it to pass. There is no tachycardia and no images or sweats. Just the feeling that something inside you is about to be absorbed or poisoned. I describe this distinction because they are such profound personal experiences that after so many years I can distinguish them well. I have seen, reading many texts, that hardly anyone ever talks about images referring to states of anxiety. I do not know if research has been done in this regard but I have not found any feedback. Yet in me the attacks have always been preceded by images, blurred, but which were repeated every time.

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