I was a girl in the rose garden.
A nymph. 
Almost a ghost that was disappearing.
I was a 16 year old girl
I crossed the desert
quickly, almost flying,
a stone statue of the Buddha
sleeping, a Buddha of ashes.
I have been a hanging woman.
I have been a tough and strong man.
An eccentric with a fish in her mouth
and then the emperor's child
of the oriental garden. 
A tree maybe. 
A mouse. 
An elephant.
A hare. 
I have been camp of battle and a prayers. 
A poppy.
A whole planet. 
Maybe a star.
A lake. 
I've been water, I know this. 
I have been water storm. 
A rain on something that I had been long ago.
An oath. 
A wait.
The race of the gazelle and bullets.
I have been, perfect arrow shot, catacomb. 
A creed - a lament.
A vessel among very high waves.
Maybe even the sea.
And so - what should I be afraid of


The human being is divided into two parts: one he knows and the other he has to meet. And when the latter arrives, it is easier than you think to understand that in those eyes, in those lips, in that smile, there is the other half. You feel it on your skin, in your veins. You feel your heart beating, you feel a strange interest in that person you just met, but so attracting attention that you don’t understand why. And when you begin to create a real relationship, made no longer of looks, but of constant dialogue, you understand that you cannot separate from your person. Because once they are reunited it is as if each fabric is glued back together, found again. Every muscle, every organ, inextricably linked.
Once in a lifetime, something happens. The meeting of two souls who, despite having been apart for a long time, have never really been separated. In fact, only once in my life, I found Love, and it happened at the exact moment I met your eyes. I understood that distances are not real, because all that is most real is our being, very distant from what we see only with the eyes, or that we perceive only with the senses and interpret with our mind. There is something beyond any kind of rationality, and love is the only way to understand it. Once in my life, I met you. But for how many lifetimes we will still meet, always in the same place, that place without time or space. Where our eyes will still recognize each other and the doors to infinity will open.
You never let go of your hands, you hold tight, with eyes cast down to others, and it’s an ocean, girl, that silence of yours, and it’s beautiful blue waves, messages of love in a bottle of precious crystal. They are in the courtyard. You are a boat in the middle of the sea. And they laugh, rumor new loves, and they are enough, and they talk to each other, lowering their voices, getting closer, when they look at you, in that corner only yours, while you smile at the ants, without ever being able to see you. Your pain is the ocean, fragile girl, and they would drown, believe me, in your great sea, in your glaring depths, in the wonderful invisible world that you are. Let them believe, therefore, that you are left out, that you are the excluded, that they are together, that you are alone, desperately alone. Let them believe, twin flame! I feel like hugging you, even if I don’t know you, even if I’ve never seen you; hug you and tell you that everything is fine, that we are the ones together, even if together, due to time and space, we have never been there. Yet, that corner was mine, once upon a time, and no one, besides us, has ever noticed all that sea, all that deep, this boundless ocean of ours!


It sinks, it is true, in life it sinks many times. Then you don’t know how to re-emerge. You swim in the midst of events that don’t seem to belong to you at all. You see horizons, many different horizons, but you’re tired of deciding which one to go to. Then the sea pushes you, with its liquid embrace, pushes you to change your mind, to recreate yourself, to leave useless things on that bottom where you trudged. And then you too become water and there is no longer any difference between you and the blue waves.


I want the sea, the sunlight that shines on the skin, the color of the sky reflected on the sea and that feeling of when I was a child, that sense of celebration, vacation and magic of when school is over and you were ready for adventures, to loves, and to the first outings in the evening, late. Summer brings with it the nostalgia and the novelty of a time to be experienced.
At the beginning of this last summer, I woke up one day and told myself that I had to turn off my mind, calm down my thoughts. It has been a difficult year, 2020, it has been decidedly heavy. I needed to let go, let go in the sense that I didn’t want to worry, at least for a while. I lived, as they say, as it came. I didn’t worry about the alarm clock, the things to do, the things not to do. I needed it and I was fine for a while, to be honest I was pretty good all season.
Maybe, one day you will realize that the laughter at a bar table then stays there and you don’t take it home. Maybe, one day you will realize that those who like you, only look for you when they feel like having a little fun. Maybe, one day you will realize that whoever tells you that that shirt looks good on you has no intention of taking it off. Maybe one day you will realize that someone asks you how the weekend went, just to be able to tell you theirs. Maybe, one day you will realize that those who tell you that things will change don’t even think about it and say it only because they are tired of hearing how dissatisfied you are. Maybe, one day you will realize that no one knows what song you sing when you are carefree, what sweatshirt you wear when you are at home, where you keep your childhood memories, what is hanging on your wall, what positions you sleep in, if when you dine keep the television on, how long it takes you to take a shower and many other things that will seem insignificant but at some point you will feel the need to let someone know. Maybe, one day you will realize that happiness is not everywhere but always a little too far away. Maybe, one day you will realize that love was next to you, even if you looked away and tried in vain to find other names to define it, to define us.
A guy told me how he is without his girlfriend and left me speechless She will never come back, it is useless to delude oneself, because after all she didn’t really exist. What I think? I think I can see her someday, I hope so. And well what I feel, I feel all the love I could have given her. I wonder where all this love that we give to people who are not there, who prefer not to be, is going to end. I wonder where all the love I feel for her is going to end. Space? Land? Abyss? Or in some black hole in the universe, created especially for us, for impossible loves like ours. A sort of container of love, a box created to contain loves that go, that are lost and never come back. And I refuse to believe that my love for her can be contained in a vessel. It is too strong, it is free, without chains, it has no limits, it knows neither space nor time. He will be lost somewhere who knows where to look for what he has left of her. Eventually it will explode into the universe, and every single piece of that love so ineffable and pure will give life to a star. Thus, at night, whenever she looks at the sky, she will not see simple stars, but single fragments that have come into the world to love her.
Do not take anyone to see the sea, which is an important thing, it is not a trivial matter. Going with someone to see the sea is not like going to the bar, to see the shop windows in the square or to get an ice cream. It really is so much more. To look at the sea bring us someone who shares the silence with you, it is difficult to find it, but if you find it you have no escape. You see it as if you were in another world, a world where silence is enough to understand each other. A world of your own. Bring us someone you don’t have to talk to, because the sea is a silent film that surprises you for the colors, for the sensations it causes in your stomach and for the noises of the waves that make you feel in a balanced situation. But what really counts, of the sea, are the nuances. As with everything beautiful on the other hand. Bring us those who have been able to show you that you are worth much more than what you think, than what you would expect, someone who makes you a priority and not a pastime. That person who can hear your innermost tragedies, without thinking that they are trivial and irrelevant things. To see the sea, bring us those who can understand you without speaking, who will pick you up if you go away, who gives you the opportunity to lean on his shoulder when you fall, who if looking into your eyes, incredibly notice a little you. That person who, when he looks up to the sky, reads your name. Bring us someone just like that, who makes you feel chaos inside and a magical person outside, full of life. You will seem to see something amazing, shocking, fascinating and for the first time in your life it will seem like you are seeing the sea, because you have never seen it like this.

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