SINCERELY YOURS

I’ve always been honest. Here is my problem. I don’t pretend. If I can’t stand you I’ll tell you, if you don’t respect me I don’t respect you, if I don’t want you near I will push you away. I’m not pretending, print it on your head. I don’t pretend a love that doesn’t exist, I don’t pretend to smile if I don’t like seeing you, I don’t pretend to have esteem for you if you make me sick as a person, you could even be 100 years old, nothing would change. Because I behave as I want to behave, as I feel I have to behave and not as “the rules” impose. This is my problem: I’m different from you and you just can’t stand this. My sincerity scared you, scared you that I’m real. Who I am will always screw me up and I am aware of it, yet you have to know one thing: better a hundred years of solitude than a single day in your company. When I saw that you were not sincere, that your play was only to exploit me, to draw on my resources, then I could no longer tolerate what you did to me. You are no longer a fixed thought as before, but sometimes my attention falls on you, for various reasons, but in any case I categorically avoid getting close to you, I no longer miss you as I once did, I’m fine without you, I no longer hurt myself, I have learned to be enough for a while now, I have learned to turn around and not find you, I have gradually got used to your absence, until it has become almost irrelevant, almost no longer felt, only in some fragments of time, I happen to feel your absence on my skin, but even this time it is no longer the same, I think about you, I think about you, about what we could have been but then, my attention turns away from it and I think that those who want you keep you, that those who love you stay, those who repent come back, that if only you had wanted with the same intensity with which I wanted, we could have been so damn happy, but it didn’t happen, and it goes well. I feel lighter now without you, I feel myself, I feel I don’t have to deprive myself of my life, and it’s fabulous, but above all I feel that I am in harmony with myself, I have developed self-love. don’t come back, don’t, not yet, not again. do not destroy everything I have created. go away. get out of me and my life for good. I’m sorry I don’t care, but I learned from you.

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ashley
    Dec 27, 2021 @ 14:30:24

    Growing up through childhood we are dressed in the clothes that our parents and the current culture offer. When we turn into teenagers we rebel and try to change the constraints that have been laid upon us. For many years after we are too engaged with careers, children, money! Now that I am old(er) I’m sure I understand you better; I certainly try harder to understand and reach out without conditions. 🙏

    Reply

    • Fairy Queen
      Dec 27, 2021 @ 14:53:28

      I have suffered, I have experienced loneliness, I have spent sleepless nights, I have spent days lying on a bed doing nothing, I have lost who I love, my dreams have gone up in smoke, I have been underestimated and little understood, I have been disappointed, but I moved on. I haven’t changed, I grew up because life, with its ups and downs, wanted it. I opened my eyes and saw the reality that surrounds me, which is why I no longer laugh as I once did, because these wounds have upset me.

      Reply

  2. Ashley
    Dec 27, 2021 @ 15:14:00

    👐✍🤟🙋‍♂️

    Reply

  3. Lisa at Micro of the Macro
    Dec 28, 2021 @ 16:14:09

    It’s important that you learned self love. Blessings to you my friend. 🌞

    Reply

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